My Very First Sponsor

How about A Colonoscopy?

Today I spent a lot of time at the doctor's office; Urgent Care specifically. Sugar Momma has been sick since about February. She gets a little better here and there but for the most part she's always sick (no living with matt jokes required). They have said that she has had: pneumonia, asthma, a bad cold, allergies, really bad acid reflux... One of the times she went to Urgent Care after work in Batavia and they called for an ambulance that took her to the hospital. That cost us $850 for a three mile ride so this time we were smarter and I went with her so if they tried to pull that ambulance chasing crap I would give them a Johnny Bravo judo chop and take her to the hospital myself. The doctor today had no idea. He kept asking us what we thought. I honestly think I am about 46% medically smarter than this doctor. He was very nice but he let us decide what prescriptions we wanted him to give us. I got Sugar Momma some cough medicine with codeine and something for acid reflux and an anti-biotic. If you need something let me know and the next time we go to Urgent Care I'll get it for you. When we got there I dropped her at the door because that's how we smooth operators roll. Then I went to park the Mattmobile and noticed that the doctors park right next to the building and the sick people have to park across the parking lot. What if you were really sick? You have to walk across the Arctic Tundra past all of the Mercedes' and BMW's to tell the doctor what they should prescribe? What happened to customer service? Maybe I should open a valet service at Urgent Care's throughout the MIDDLEwest. So, we'll see how she does; I will monitor her progress and consult with my colleagues who get to park next to the building.

My T-Mobile flip phone crashed again last night. I think I realized why they call it a flip phone. The birds were flying this morning when I had to redo all of my settings and reload my Sim card contacts.  I have been smart ever since that last time though. I had three alarms set as backups; like I actually ever sleep to the alarm.

First a sponsor Next a Nascar

I have a blog sponsor...an actual blog sponsor. Hopefully you can make out the copy of this soon-to-be nationwide company's brochure. If you cannot see it send me your email address and I will send you a full-size copy of the brochure. It is someone I know very well and she can do all of that stuff around the house that you: don't have the tools for, don't know how to do, don't feel like doing... If you're behind on getting the Christmas decorations up I know for a fact that she is an expert at Christmas decorations (or take them down after Christmas). She will do work withing a 50 mile radius of the Oswego, Illinois area and she just sent me a message that if you mention that you are a Matt In The Middle blog follower you will get the "MIDDLEman special" of the very low price of $10 for the first hour of work. ** blog follower exclusive**
 
Call now...operators are standing by. That's just what they always say on commercials so I said it because I thought it would sound cool. She doesn't have operators...she actually ANSWERS YOUR CALLS HERSELF because she cares! Be one of the first 20 customers that tell her that Matt In The Middle sent you and I will draw one of those twenty names and come out and be her assistant at that lucky house and write about my time working on your project with "Jackii" Of All Trades (Judii) on the blog. Talk about a once in a lifetime experience. This is prize valued at...you cannot even put a price on that. Don't worry I will just hand her the tools and get her coffee and probably stand around and talk to you and stuff like that because she is qualified...I am sidekick material only.


I got the email for travel basketball today. Fabio got the number he wanted. He is number 10 in your score books but number one in your hearts. Our first tournament is in Palatine in early January. Let me know if you love to see 8th grade travel basketball and I will get you the schedule. They are going to be all over the MIDDLE top part of Illinois. Possibly coming to a town near you.

This morning while I was putting on my socks I noticed that I am still stopping to look at the little "R" and "L" to make sure I put the right sock on the right foot. I have made fun of it several times here but I still follow Nike's sock wearing subliminal message. Okay, it's not subliminal. Thank goodness I know my right from my left like a big boy. Maybe that's not even what the little "L" and "R" stand for; I am making quite an assumption aren't I? Maybe it's "R" for "Re" and "L" for "Lax." Frankie Says "R"e"L"ax! Maybe the R is to "Republican" and the "L" is for "Liberal." Maybe "Lamb" and "Roast Beef." Maybe I have Richard Lewis' socks.

I bet the wall smells minty fresh

While I was at Urgent Care waiting for the chest X-ray results that I ordered to come back from the lab I was reading a National Geographic magazine and saw a photo of a wall in Seattle called the "gum wall." It's a World-famous wall that people go to to stick their gum on. They use gum to write their names or stick coins on to make an impression or make gum portraits... I can't stand when I reach under a table and bump some gum that someone stuck under there. Throwing things away properly is one of the first things we learn as kids but there's always gum on the bottom of tables. I have NEVER put my gum on the bottom of a table or a wall. I must be missing out on something because it seems like it must be fun. I think if I went there I would take a bunch of gum and make a life-size portrait of Violet Beauregard (after she turned into the blueberry).

I guess I have "chewed" up enough of your time today. I am glad that you would "chews" to "gum" by again. Sorry to "stick" around so long today but I guess it's time to call it a "wrap." I hope I didn't "blow" it by writing so much. I try just to "pop" in and out but sometimes it's not just a "snap."

I just heard from my friend Rachelle that there is a meteor shower tonight. I just checked and the meteor shower is supposed to take place sometime between MIDDLEnight Monday and dawn Tuesday. I usually wake-up sometime in there so I will let you know if I see anything. Hey, Hawaii-Five-0 is on tonight, cool; I love that show. Stay warm (think Hawaii). TTTT...MITM (basting off).