Sunday, August 8, 2010

Who Can Turn the World on with his Blog?

I'm tired. I didn't write a blog last night because I knew you wouldn't read it by now anyway so I wanted it to fresh-baked when you read it instead of half-baked like they usually are. We had a bon fire last night and I finished off that pitcher of mai tais that has been haunting me every time I opened the fridge for the last week. I try not to drink and blog too often. It was just Sugar Momma and I (both kids were gone) and then I saw my Hetero Life Mate Dennis' house lights on so I texted him and he came out for awhile. Welcome to the extended Sunday edition of Matt In The Middle (cue the music)!

Splenda goes to college in about ten days. She's pretty excited. I don't know why. I guess I was pretty excited when I went away to school too. New adventures. Meeting new people. Feeling like you're a grown up for the first time out on your own. And Sparky will be an 8th grader. Upper-classman in the world of junior high. I promised him we would go to Great America or Six Flags or Six Flags Great America before he goes back to school and the clock is ticking. I apparently also mentioned that we would load our bikes on to the train and take them to Brookfield and ride our bikes from the train to the zoo. I remember saying that a couple of months ago but all of a sudden he decides it's time to remind me? So now we have those two things we have to do as well as get sports physicals. Sugar Momma's birthday is Thursday but she will be in Florida because she is a big-shot E-Learning Instructional Designer (okay she's only a MIDDLE-shot not a big-shot but sometimes I get typing and I can't see the keys through all of the sparks and smoke my awesome speed generates). What exactly are the six flags in six flags?

Seventeen Magazine arrived in the mail yesterday. No it's not mine but we don't have any seventeen year-olds here so I threw it out. I didn't really throw it out but I remember when Splenda was fifteen or sixteen and started getting it and now she's eighteen and some change and she is still getting it. Why would you name a magazine so people could only appreciate it for a year? I know Teen was taken and Tiger Beat, of course, but what about Mid-Teen Magazine or something? You're kind of limiting your readership with only one year for each female person. It doesn't matter now because print is dead he says as he types this blog. Oh yeah, thanks brain, Sugar Momma said last night that I should do a pod-cast now. Is that the next progression with a blog when you're trying to break though the communications ceiling? But this roof is made of glass, it'll shatter into a thousand pieces. We'll be cut to ribbons. Probably! Would you down-load me and listen to my rambling on the way to work? It would have to be me doing the podcast because Charleton Heston is dead so now everybody has to read their own stuff. Then if the pod-cast works what's next? Radio? No, radio's dead too. Blogging and Pod-casts killed the radio star.

I finally got over to see Dinner With Schmuck's yesterday. Of course, I will do a review today. I already know one person (Mary) who knows I saw it and she's waiting for my review. There are spies in the Matt In The Middle blog camp. Thank goodness I caught up on my Kick-Ass and Hot Tub Time Machine reviews. I still have to get The House restaurant review done. I never really thought of The House as a restaurant - more of a coffee house or a music venue but I ate there so it's a restaurant. Geez, sounds like I am trying to write the review already...slow down cowboy.

When we were out by the fire listening to Roz's Earth Day playlist there was a song with banjo in it (Australia by The Shins) and we started to talk about how we both like the sound of the banjo and the mandelin. Then Sugar Momma asked where did the mandelin come from? We decided it was used mostly by gypsys and then we started talking about Cher. And I broke into all of the lyrics of Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves. I haven't heard that song for probably 35 years and I knew all the lyrics. Then Sugar Momma asked, "what was that song where she sang about being part Native American and I broke into singing "Half-Breed." Maybe I should open my own Bird Cage. I prefer the term metro-sexual by the way but you can call me whatever you want. How about Mattrosexual?

Yeah for California and over-turning Prop 8. I must admit I like the ladies. To me the ladies: smell better than men, they look A LOT better than men, they communicate better than men, they care more than men, they're smarter than men...the list goes on. They are known as the weaker sex because they like to let us think that because it's a tactical advantage. Who has all of the jobs now - the ladies. Remember I was always on your side during your world-domination tour ladies! But I also know that we are all created differently and how can I stop someone else from pursuing what makes them happy? As long as it doesn't infringe on me or my loved-ones I say live and let live. I have had many, many homosexual friends, both male and female, over the years and guess what? Just like with all of my heterosexual friends we never spoke about sex. I think that's the hang-up people have with homosexuality. I think some people think relationships are about sex. If you're married you know that's FAR from the case (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean, say no more) . Relationships are about sharing responsibilities and sharing joys and pains and hopes and fears and dreams and ideas. Someone to be silly with and someone to be serious with. Someone to be yourself around. Not that I have a problem with the subject of sex because anybody who knows me knows that's not the case but I tend to carry things too far sometimes and I know that I should probably not start down the talking-about-sex-path because I always forget to leave bread-crumbs and I may wander for hours. Life is too short not to do what makes you happy. Be true to yourself and let others be true to themselves too. Sorry I got political for a moment but we are one people, one tribe y'all!

When I start typing these blogs every day I never know what I'm going to blog. I usually start with a few topics and then something in my pea-brain kicks in and I just start R A M B L I N ' ramblin' (you have to pronounce the apostrophe). Maybe I should do a pod-cast. I can ramble a lot faster when I'm talking. I could have a call-in podcast? The first thing I need to figure out is why I blog in the first place. That will be the topic of my next blog - Why Do I Blog?

Have a great Sunday. I know the reason I blog is YOU and I appreciate you stopping by everyday (or every Sunday in Sugar Momma's case - she says I'm like the Sunday paper or Sunday funnies or some such nonsense - more like the obituaries I'd venture to say). Anyway do what you enjoy doing today and the heck with everyone else. But remember the Matt In The Middle golden rule - "what you enjoy doing cannot directly impede what other people enjoy doing or you can't do it." Now get outta here already! Blog you later......

** mtm photo tossed from revelife.com, charlie heston photo voiced over from atomicmall.com, cher photo thieved from tumklipleri.com & save families graphic joined together from myjewishlearning.com **

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