Matt in the Middle: Waiting For Blagojevich

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Waiting For Blagojevich

Quite honestly, this may be a boring blog because I am sitting in a hotel room in Marion, Illinois and I have had a few Peach Margaritas. Never mind....what can be more exciting than a hotel room in Marion, Illinois? If I wait long enough maybe Blagojevich will be here.

It only took five hours to get here and I am closer to Memphis than I am to home. Everybody in the car was

sleeping (but me, of course) so I played car bingo by myself. I found that all roads lead through the MIDDLEwest. I saw plates from:Wisconsin, Florida, Missouri, Alabama, Kentucky, Nevada, New Jersey, Indiana, Iowa, Texas and I saw a truck from a company called Opie's Transport (opiestransport.com). I have decided that Illinois is the MIDDLE of the MIDDLEwest. What do you have to do besides think when you'e driving 80 miles per hour surrounded by corn but to think? That reminds me...Corn Fest is this weekend in DeKalb.

I thought why do Major League Baseball managers wear baseball unifoms? Can you imagine Phil Jackson wearing a Lakers uniform on the bench? How about an NFL or NHL coach wearing a uniform and pads on the sidelines or bench? I don't know why I never thought about that before but sometimes boredom brings brilliance. Speaking of unifoms has anyone else noticed that the suit seems to be losing it's hold on the fashion-world. You don't see as many suits any more. I blame global warming. Ironically dresses seem to be making a comeback.

While driving past Mansfield, Illinois I thought of Jayne Mansfield. Wasn't she killed in a car that hit a train? I think they thought she was beheaded but it was really one of her wigs. This is a great thought to go through your head, no pun intended, while you're barreling down the highway.

How is is possible to do 144 miles on 1/4 tank of gas but the range on the gas left is only 233 miles? Shouldn't I be able to go another 432 miles more? My math sucks but this seems pretty elementary. It's a Toyota so maybe that whole metric deal plays into this?

Splenda moves into her dorm Thrusday morning at 9:30. we were going to stay until Saturday but we are not staying that long anymore. I think we'll be cramping her style so we'e gonna get outta Dodge ealier so my dance-card is opening up for the weekend. That's fine because it's hotter than Satan's slippers down here.

Enough for today because it's been a long one and it will be a very busy one tomorrow. I will blog you again tomorrow and I will try to be more spectacularly bloggiful. Have a nice Thursday...it's almost the weekend. Blog you later percolator.

6 comments:

UnknownAugust 18, 2010 at 11:01 PM
stick around for a few days...maybe Tall Paul will be playin at the Hangar 9! Jayne Mansfield was beheaded when her convertible ran under the back end of a semi at a high rate of speed...her dog also was decapitated
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Jimbo!August 18, 2010 at 11:23 PM
"Peach Margaritas"? Puuleeezzz! Daughter in college or not, she doesn't want her Dad drinkin' "Peach Margaritas"!
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AnonymousAugust 19, 2010 at 1:46 AM
Thus the name Mansfield bars now on all semi's to prevent cars going under them. Jaynes daughter is Mariska Hargitay. Matt drink a shot of JD buddy; without the umbrella lol
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Matt HelserAugust 19, 2010 at 4:43 AM
I am secure in my drink choices. Remember, I am 48% estrogen. Are you SURE she was actually beheaded? And, how does a dog get beheaded?
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UnknownAugust 19, 2010 at 6:26 AM
she also had a parakeet, a gerbil and a small boa constrictor with her.....all beheaded... very strange accident
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Matt HelserAugust 19, 2010 at 5:34 PM
ALl Peach Margarita-related I have heard
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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!