May The Blog Be With You...Always! (please don't sue me)

Congratulations to Miss Mexico for winning the Miss Universe Pageant and becoming Miss Universe. What a surprise - someone from EARTH won Miss Universe again. This is how wars of the worlds begin or maybe star wars.

I am confused about the albatross. Is an albatross a good bird or a bad bird? In golf an albatross is fantastic; it's 3 under par. But, if you have an "albatross around your neck", however, you are unlucky. As it turns out the albatross is a well-liked bird because in the poem The Rime of The Ancient Mariner it talks about how it is unlucky to kill an albatross and if you do you are forced to wear one around your neck like the captain in the poem. Thanks to Wikipedia I know that albatrosses are good and you should not kill them even by accident.

In yesterday's blog I wrote about the billionaires pledging half their fortunes to charity upon their deaths. Today I heard that George Lucas, one of the 40 American billionaires that has made this pledge, is trying to raise more money for his donation. George Lucas is suing a company called Jedi Mind, Inc. because they have developed a product that uses "Jedi mind tricks" to allow a person to control a computer application with their mind. They also have a product called the Jedi Mouse. Where did this company think this was okay? They couldn't use their Jedi Minds and figure out that these terms were the intellectual property of George Lucas? Now they are probably going to have to use their Millennium Falcon to go save Princess Leia or Queen Amadala so they can get a $5 million reward to pay when The Force is not with them in court.

I was working in the kitchen tonight and my son was watching Wizards of Waverly Place on the Disney Channel. I overheard someone talking about the Thomas Dolby Science Fair. I thought that was funny and clever but that's about the only time they didn't play the stupid laugh-track they have. So, when there's a funny joke they don't need a laugh-track and when they have a stupid joke they have to play a laugh-track to make you think you didn't get the non-existent joke. Miss Yakamoto...you're beautiful (that's for all of you other MIDDLE-agers who were there the day MTV launched and still played music videos. What does the "M" stand for now?).

Remember I wrote that I was thinking about applying for the opening with the Dekalb County Paranormal Society? Well, I ended up applying based on the advise of my good buddy Brian and today I received a phone call to set up an interview. They wanted to do the interview at their meeting on September 3rd but I will be out of the MIDDLEwest on the East Coast. So, they are going to reschedule their meeting just for me to September 11th. Is it a good omen or a bad omen that it will be on 9/11? He told me that they received 40 resumes for the one opening. I don't know if it's a paid position although they have business hours so maybe but I doubt it. I was just thinking that I could have great blogging material, get in touch with the other side, write a book or star in a television show about MIDDLEwest ghost hunting... He said they were very impressed by my resume and that I should bring any equipment I have to the meeting. I don't have any paranormal investigation equipment. What should I take. My camera? I have one of those headband flashlights for spelunking. Any suggestions? I am thinking about baking cookies or brownies or something and bribing them with my deliciousness. Should I just bring my laptop? My i-Pod with a "haunted" playlist? Sugar Momma said that if it turns out to be a real job she's not telling anyone what I do for a living...she could just say I am "Matt Helser, P.I." (paranormal investigator). Oh man...I like that (patent/copyright/trademark/dibs on the P.I. = paranormal investigator) I got the name for the show already...now I just have to get the gig.

Okay, I've rambled on long enough. Do something that makes you feel good Wednesday. I plan on bein' bustin' because "bustin' makes me feel good (speaking of videos on MTV)." Hey, did we win the lottery Tuesday night...I gotta check and if so I can get some radical and gnarly paranormal equipment and buy their love...blog you later Lord Darth Vader (property of George Lucas and Lucas Films...). TA!

** albatross photo double-birdied (ha) from ibrrc.ord, jedi mind, inc. graphic jedi mind tricked from svenontech.com, thomas dolby photo blinded by divxklip.de & ekto one photo crossed the streams from tvtropes.org **