Monday, August 2, 2010

Another Star-Studded Blogstavaganza!

Okay...adrenaline is pumping through my veins from working out, the Benadryls are launched and I have AC/DC blasting so...let the blogging begin!

I saw a commercial today for the Chase credit card with Chevy Chase in it. What a great marketing idea having a person with the name Chase peddling your Chase Card. It made me think of some of the other celebrities who should do this. Remember, you heard (read) the idea here first when this starts to happen because nobody (well, few) in marketing/movies/publishing have original ideas anymore so they will try to steal this one from me. But here's some that came to my mind immediately: Adam Carolla for Toyota (Corolla), Matthew and/or Megan Fox for Fox News or the Fox Network, Jimmy Buffett for Old Country Buffet, Criss Angel for Latter Day Saints or the Catholic Church, John Hamm for Oscar Mayer, Andy Dick for Trojan Condoms or that new KY Fire and Ice stuff, James Franco for Spaghetti-O's, Alicia Keys for the Southern Florida Tourism Board, Donald Trump for Trump Casinos and Hotels (what do you mean THEY are named for HIM?), Stewart Appleby for T.G.I. Fridays or Ruby Tuesday (Applebee's would be too predictable), Tiger Woods for golf clubs (woods, of course) or maybe Viagra and Mel Gibson for Gibson Guitars with a commercial of him smashing them on stage or something like that. I guess Tiger and Mel are probably marketing poison right now; wait until December when we forget all about their problems. Any of these ideas show up and I want my cut! I have been thinking about changing my name to Tiki Sanders but now I am thinking about something more like Cap'n Crunch Aston-Martin Tahiti so I can cash in when this wave arrives...has a nice ring to it don't you think? But you can call me Cappy!

Speaking of Alicia Keys, she just got married and she is expecting a baby; congratulations. That's all I am going to blog about that because if she wanted the excellent blogging skills of Matt In The Middle she should have hired me when I applied to be her Head Blogger. You had your chance Ms. Keys (or whatever your new name is though you'd be crazy to change your name because you can do commercials for Master Lock or Schlage or some other lock company). Not that I'm bitter or anything. I am still waiting for my "we have reviewed your resume and you have excellent blobbety blobbety blah blah..." letter suitable for framing.

Well, my planning to do nothing today was shot to heck because I did a lot. I'm not sayin' I'm just sayin'.

I saw on-line that a lot of websites are showing female celebrities without their make-up on or in their beach attire or with their cellulite showing. Most of them are gorgeous even without make-up, they look fantastic in their street clothes and especially in their bathing suits and we all get some cellulite when we get older so who chayes? Didn't Bay Watch already do this? Hey celebrities - Keep not wearing make-up and showing cottage cheese in your bikinis; you look mahvalous dahlings!

Speaking of cottage cheese I just got done working out and my hammys and glutes are pretty tight from all that weeding yesterday. What kind of toast would you like with your hammy and glutes? Who the heck knew that weeding miles of gardens was such a workout? I should come up with a yard-work/gardening workout called Yard Workout or Glutes Garden... There goes my Ralph Kramden hair-brained thinking again. I upped my crunches or sit-ups or whatever they are called when you do them on the Ab Lounge Ultra (ca-ching). I was doing 450 per workout and tonight I upped them to 500. I know that sounds like a lot because IT IS!!! I'm a monster baby! No big whoop. The music Roz was layin' down tonight hit just right so I picked up what she was dishin' out. When I was doing the last set of the sit-ups she was playing Can't Touch This (M.C. Hammer). You can't stop when it's Hammer Time! Earlier in the workout I was about ready to quit and she spun AC/DC's If You want Blood (You Got It). Thanks Roz, you saved me again. That's why you're my special girl!

Benadryl makes me type-ative. I have a lot more written down in my labyrinth of notebooks but this is long (TWSS) so I'd better call it a wrap. This kind of turned out to be a celebrity blogstravaganza. I'd like to thank all of my wonderful guests for dropping by and I'm sorry to Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan because we've run out of time. We'll try to get you on a future blogisode; just keep doing things blog-worthy. I need to blog while I'm on AC/DC, Bendaryl, adrenaline and endorphins more often but kids I am a trained professional and you should not try this at home. I can see why a lot of great authors back in the day worked with "motivation." I'll blog you again later...I really appreciate you reading this every day. I miss you already but, go on now...get outta here! TTFN...Cappy.

** celeb ad photo brain-stormed from wow-tube.ru, baywatch photo rescued from movies-illustrated.com & ralph kramden photo bang, zoomed from dipity.com

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