Matt in the Middle: Holy Google Gagapalooza Paranormal Sandwiches!

Friday, August 6, 2010

Holy Google Gagapalooza Paranormal Sandwiches!

Weekend's here, weather's clear, get used to it.

The Lollapalooza music festival is going on right now in Chicago. Lady Gaga

is on stage as I blog. They did not allow television cameras into the concert but WGN TV managed to get pirated video and air in on their 9:00 PM newscast. This is the same WGN television that threatens to sue you or I if we reproduce any portion of the Cubs broadcast without the expressed written consent of them and Major League Baseball. What a bunch of hypocrites. Dean Richards, who was doing a live remote, even said that Lady Gaga always says she does it for the fans blah, blah, blah...but she won't allow their cameras in. Oh, you mean the same way that you try to make the Chicago Cubs out as America's team and do essentially the same thing? Hypocrisy drives me crazy (cuckoo-bananas crazy). Lady Gaga's concert is her intellectual property just as WGN's broadcast is theirs. I like WGN television a great deal and I have my entire life but I don't agree with their hypocritical behavior on this issue. I have to admit I don't care for Dean Richards though; he's pretty pompous.

Why do race horses pee so much and why does poop go so fast through geese?

Have you seen that current Quizno's Subs television commercial?

The one with the cats dressed in crazy clothes singing to the tune of Three Blind Mice. Who approved this idea? Okay...food and cat hair - bad idea. The idea of mice and food together - bad idea. This tune is also the song of The Three Stooges. Morons making my submarine sandwich - bad idea. Instead of wanting a sandwich I think about three maroons making my sandwich as singing cats chase mice while getting mouse hair and cat fur all over everything including my food. No wonder Subway is king of the sub right now. Didn't Quizno's have a commercial with a giant rat or some rodent talking about the sandwiches a few years ago? I guess they are getting some attention; I will blog about them but I'm not eating there.

Why is something fun called a riot? I have never been a part of one but riots don't appear that fun to me even when seeing them on the news. It's definitely not fun if you are on the business end of the riot but even the rioters seem angry.

I received

a response to my inquiry looking for a Medium for the October seance on the Paranormal Research Society site. They want to know "Is this for research? Entertainment?" I am not sure how to answer that question/questions. I guess it's a little of both. Aren't all paranormal investigations entertainment? There are quite a few shows and movies and books about them so I guess they are all both. I don't know how to respond. I guess I will tell them that it is both! I want a little entertainment but not like Poltergeist or Exorcist or Amityville entertainment.

I think that if I had to do it over I'd be better looking.

Singer Katy Perry and actor Russell Brand are to be married soon. Perry's friend Rihanna is trying to throw a bachelorette party or make the female version of the movie The Hangover for Perry. Can you imagine the pressure to do this? Firstly, how could it possibly be good enough and secondly, every

Blog, Dick and Harry are going to know how well it went and criticize the party no matter what you do. What would you do with virtually unlimited funds and you had to throw your friend a shindig to end all shindigs? It would have to involve a third-world country I think. Wow, I don't know what I would do if I were throwing YOU your last party as a single person. I don't even know what I would do for myself if I had unlimited means to do whatever I wanted to do. It's a lot less pressure to live day-to-day I guess. Sorry Rihanna I know you read this blog to get some ideas but I'm at a loss. Give me a call and we'll come up with something spectacular together.

Have a Saturday already will ya? I still need to get The House restaurant review (I went there again today - two days in a row) and the Hot Tub Time Machine review posted...I will do it toot sweet. Have a riot today; blog you soon!

** lady gaga photo googled and gaggled from media.tumbir.com, quizno's photo custom ordered from eater.com, paranormal photo entertainingly exorcised from justjared.buzznet.com & katy and russel photo paparazzi'd from mirror.co.uk **

2 comments:

UnknownAugust 7, 2010 at 7:51 PM
1. The cubs are Americas team...Americas worst team (as u know i am a cub fan)

2. Have u been to a Quiznos lately? I would prefer Curly to make my sandwich...tatoos and lip piercings are a source of loss of appetite for me.

3. Lest ye forget: Carbondale Halloween=fun riot!

Love the blog!
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Matt HelserAugust 8, 2010 at 11:30 AM
Greg - Carbondale Halloween was a riotous riot. I stand corrected on riots. I hate when people pigeon-hole things and here I did it with riots.

Our Quizno's (Dekalb) closed about 2-3 years ago thankfully. I have not been to one since and even then probably only 3 times in my life. Now, thanks to you and their stupid ads, I will probably never be again.

I'm happy you like the blog - thank you
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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!