A Russian man, Vladimir Ladyzhenskiy, died in the finals
of the World Sauna Championships in Helsinki Finland. He collapsed with severe burns in a 230-degree room as water was thrown on the heating apparatus. 230 degrees in Helsinki, incidentally, is only 110-degrees Celsius for you MIDDLEwesterners (remember my blog about how we Americans are too cool to learn the metric system? Well, 110 is a lot cooler than 230 I guess). They pulled the shaking, bleeding man from the room and poured cold water on him but it was too late. The event has been held for the last eleven years but they have decided that this was the last. So, they thought this was a good idea until now? Who was the organizer Michael Vick? I have another of those things that I wrote down in the dark in the MIDDLE of the night that I don't know what it means and, as I do, I will write it down as I can read it out of my notebook. "Every day takes all over again figuring out how to live." I don't know if it's deep or insane or if it's something I heard but it is what it is.
I saw that Tiger Woods only shot a 77 in his most recent round at the Bridgestone Invitational. They are calling it his worst tournament since he has been a professional. I would kill to shoot a 77; I can barely shoot that at miniature golf. Is there something on his mind? What could possibly be his problem?
I was watching Jimmy Fallon the other night, mainly because he's on in the MIDDLE of the night and that's when I am trying to write
in my notebook in the dark. He was talking about MIDDLE-aged Shaquille O'Neil and was trying to come up with a new nickname for him now that he's signed with the Boston Celtics. He came up with one that I thought was great. Fallon said "Shaq is huge and he will be dressed in all green" so his new nickname should be Shraq.You already know that when I die I want to be burned up and sprinkled in the ocean so whoever wants to "visit" me can take a vacation to pretty much any waterway in the world (oceans preferred for maximum communication) and I will be there. Just call my name and I'll be there, I'll be there (couldn't resist). Well, I decided that I do want a plaque or stone engraved too. I just want my name and my birth/death dates and the words "Not only is he merely dead he's really most sincerely dead!" Maybe put it the Key West Cemetery with all of the other headstones with funny sayings like "I told you I was sick" or "I'm only resting my eyes." I don't want death to stop my smart-alekness.
Okay, I'm leaving The House for my house at 10:00 PM and the band on stage now has both a mandolin and a banjo (plus a harmonica).
In my blog two days ago I blogged about the mandolin and the banjo (for no apparent reason) and now here they are! I cannot believe how many times this blog has predicted the future; at least once every two or three blogs. I am playing the Mega Millions lottery Tuesday with the numbers: 1, 2, 12, 14, 22 and the Mega Ball #5. I will play them every time until I win (probably within the week). If you're in Illinois play along and we can be on the news together with a really cool story. If you're somewhere else play your state's or country's lottery and remember me (ca-ching) when you win.What better way to end the blog than with the winning lottery numbers before they're drawn? Have a great last day as a non-millionaire. I will blog about The House Open Mic Night tomorrow since I am out of time. The next Open Mic Night isn't until next Monday so you have time - don't panic. I'll see you at the press conference when we collect our millions! Blog you later.
** world sauna championship photo sweated from oddee.com, shraq photo fairy-stole from sports.yahoo.com & magic 8 ball shaken from clever-store.com **
No comments:
Post a Comment