An Udderly Corny Sunday Blog!

Where's Corn Fest One gonna land?

cue today's song Roz!
Happy Sunday. I know I said I may or may not blog this weekend but I am prepping for the Dirty Laundry Podcast in nine hours and I thought I would do a multimedia-tasking morning. I hope your weekend is going well so far.

There was some news about milk and corn here in DeKalb this week. Imagine that, news stories about corn and milk in a farm community. These weren't your typical corn-fed milk stories though. CornFest is held here in town every August. It had always been held right downtown for just about forever. They would block the downtown on the busiest street in town (Lincoln Highway / Route 38) and load the streets with booths full of fattening deep-fried foods and various booths from local merchants with give-aways and information. You'd get sick just smelling the place. We would have a carnival right next to the railroad tracks... Three years ago they decided to move it on up to the eastside to the De Kalb Airport for the sky! Some people thought it was a great idea some people thought it was a terrible idea...I always liked it downtown but I didn't really care one way or another actually. This week the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) sent a letter to DeKalb Taylor Municipal Airport saying that they received a letter from a customer of the airport stating that he couldn't get to his hanger during the event. I guess the airport never notified the FAA about carnival rides and old hot rods and Lady Antibellum and .38 Special on the runways. Cornfest is still going to be held at the airport this year but there is going to be restitution I can promise you that. The FAA wasn't even notified by the airport that this had gone on for the last couple of years. What if they had to divert the First Ladies' plane there and they didn't know this was going on...there could have been funnel cakes and deep-fried everything everywhere. Michelle Obama would have freaked, rightly so, to see all of that deep-fried everything strewn all over the tarmac.

Now on to the milk story in town this week; I wish I had known about it sooner so I could have gone down there and gotten some actual scene photos for you (I would have scarified myself for you). We have a store in town, right where Corn Fest used to be, called No Strings Attached. It's a resale shop that is kind of like a garage sale that decided to go big time and open a store. Every now and then, if we happen to be uptown or downtown (whichever you prefer), we'll stop in and check it out if we have a few minutes. They have just about everything you could imagine from back in the day. Tuesday or Wednesday a woman was in the store breastfeeding her baby. Someone who was working at the store either told her to stop (the breast feeder's story) or to please cover-up (the breast hater's story). The next day, Thursday, there were hundreds of women with their boobs bared feeding babies lining the street of downtown. Anyone who knows me knows of my affinity for the bosom; it's the symbol of life and nutrition for me and I hold breasts very gently and sacredly. Why was I not informed? I love controversy and I love boobs this was right in my wheel-house. I saw some footage (should be boobage - it has nothing to do with feet) on the news and some woman was yelling at the dude saying "it's the law" (referring to being able to breast-feed in public). He was my hero for awhile, getting women to expose hundreds of breast in the middle of my downtown until he said..."well, it's a stupid law." That is wrong for so many reasons. Firstly, it's almost admitting guilt and secondly, why do you not want boobs bared all over town? Why do you think they're called funbags...they're fun!!!! Not to mention that they nourish our babies. I am so tempted to type all of the acronyms for breasts but I will refrain. Be proud of me because it is very hard (TWSS). Here is one of my favorite laws in the world - "Breastfeeding Location. A mother may breastfeed her baby in any location, public or private, where the mother is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother's breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breastfeeding; however, a mother considering whether to breastfeed her baby in a place of worship shall comport her behavior with the norms appropriate in that place of worship." I guess churches get special dispensation. Why doesn't this dude call his store a place of worship? All the women priests should change this law because it's sexist and don't you want mothers and babies in church? Oh wait, that's a whole 'nother blog.

Does that perv have a camera? Dude, Where's My Call?

Wow, I guess this blog turned out to be one of local flavor in so many ways. The next time you're having a big old bowl of Corn Chex drowning in skim or whole or 2% I dare you not to think of me, this blog and DeKalb Illinois - the new milk and corn capitals of your world. The milk part is fairly new - always been corny.

Have a great Sunday and get your letters in quickly if you want to be heard all over the world on the Dirty Laundry Podcast this week. As last week's podcast demonstrated I can be very discreet and we won't mention your name if you don't want us to. Thanks for stopping by "spendin' time on me" and reading the breast blog you'll read today. TTTT...MITM (tired of making a boob of himself - out!)
Roz, Hit em wit dat new song we just added