One Day this Lady (BLANKED) this Fellow!

How to Get an STD - step one, lift up your blouse

Good Humpty Humpday morning to you!

You've waited long enough to find out about Carol Brady as I teased yesterday. I am not one to tease and make you wait until the end of the blog - well, not all the time, anyway. I teased that maybe Carol Brady was possibly "very friendly." In her new book, Life is Not a Stage, Florence Henderson, who played Carol Brady, said in the 1960's she cheated on her husband with New York Mayor John Lindsay. She further claims that the good Mayor gave her crabs (pubic lice). How'd she explain that one to her husband? Did she blame it on poor Greg Brady (Barry Williams)? I did think she was a bit crabby sometimes on The Brady Bunch. It sounds like the book goes on to say that she never had an affair with Williams as had been rumored for years. I always thought Mayor Lindsay would have been a better guy since he was portrayed as a good guy in the Batman television series (Mayor Linseed). Sounds like he may have been a very busy boy spreading crime fighting crabs throughout the country.

After marching in the parade Sunday I watched a little of the parade since we were toward the beginning because you always save the best for first right? Maybe they thought we were old and couldn't handle the heat too long. Anyway, while I was watching the parade I noticed a band coming down the street with a huge mish-mash of different-aged people. Most of the members appeared to be in their early teens but there were also some very young kids and then I looked closer and saw some dudes who looked older than me with gray hair. It was like when Freddy Fleet and his Band with the Beat mixed with the Mayberry band. It was a home school band. Man, they must have a huge house. I never really thought about home-schooled kids missing out on band. This was really cool but I was still perplexed about the four or five gray-haired dudes scattered throughout the band.  Do they have home-school colleges and home-grad schools? These dudes were as old as Dumbledore - were they going for triple Masters' or Doctorate degrees?

I know everybody knows many reasons that the United States is in such economic trouble. A couple that I ran upon recently are: The Dodgers are selling for $3 billion dollars (that money could really help a lot), big business doesn't give a hoot about helping the economy, some religions have entire cities lined with gold while the world starves, insurance companies are starting to deny all of our claims in hopes that we will not follow-up on getting them paid, the politicians are too busy texting their tidy-whiteys and giving themselves raises to solve our problems and photos of Billy the Kid are selling for $2.3 million to Florida billionaires. I am a pretty big fan of the old west (Jesse James, Billy The Kid, Wyatt Earp...) but come on. I guess that's why I wasn't cut out to be rich; I would just blow most of my money trying to help people. Maybe if you add all of the money I threw away that way I would be rich...I'd rather be George Bailey-rich any day.

Only known photo of Billy The Kid $2.3 million

With the weather being so nice for a change the last week our backyard is like a Beatrix Potter story. While I worked in the yard this past weekend I saw: baby bunnies (they sound more fun than baby rabbits), baby birds, some kind of a little black fast furry thing (I think it was some kind of a mouse)... I also got an email about the Dirty Laundry Podcast that said it sounded like we were in a forest on this week's show because of all of the bird sounds in the background. I am going to have to listen again. I guess the studio microphone is much more sensitive than I realized. We recorded this week at dusk with the studio window open and the birds were settling down for the night outside and they generally make lots of noise early in the morning and at dusk... I think that's pretty cool. Those weren't the fake sound effects that we add - those were the real-deal.

While we are on the beautiful outdoors - who decided that women should smell like flowers and men should smell like....men or petroleum products? I like the way flowers smell. Since you already know about the 47% Rule (see right margin in Blossary if you don't) I am not ashamed to tell you that I usually use Secret coco butter kiss antiperspirant / deodorant. I don't always use the coco butter kiss scent but mostly I do. Anyway, I had used it up and had to grab for Cha Cha's (TWSS) Suave sweet pea & violet yesterday. I prefer The Secret. Anyway, fellas, here is my tip for you today. If you use your wife's deodorant make sure you don't leave any underarm hair behind. One of two things will happen: 1) she will know you used it and for whatever reason that is a "no no" or 2) she will think she left the hair there and that would even be worse than #1. Luckily, I saw a defector and plucked him from the Suave. She doesn't read the blog anymore so don't tell her.

Enjoy your humpday. If you see Russell Crowe in your neighborhood (he's been seen in Chicago, Naperville and Aurora over the past few days in pre-production for The Man of Steel movie) ask him if he wouldn't want to be on our podcast. I don't know how he could pass up an opportunity like that to help boost his career. Thank you for stopping by again today - you make me feel like George Bailey sometimes. TTTT...MITM (out but not forgotten)