My Zombie/Alien Sh-- Don't Stink

I should have asked the price before ordering the champagne

I get to work this morning which is great but I wish I hadn't gone out last night. I went out with a bunch of my Boston Bruins' buddies and I don't think I will be asked back. They said "get whatever you want." When people say this we usually still don't get "whatever we want" though do we? But, these were professional athletes who had just won the Stanley Cup, so I thought to myself, "self, these are pro athletes and the bar is probably going to pick up the tab anyway so I ordered the 30-liter bottle of Ace of Spades "Midas" champagne that I have always wanted to try. I got a text while I was on the way home telling me that the champagne was $100,000...oops. The entire bill came to $156,679.74; the "service charges" were $25,000 - what is that tip? If that went to one server I bet the MGM Grand at Foxwoods had a server retire last night.

In related news I checked my Mega Millions ticket from Friday and I didn't win YET! Maybe today's the day so I can get another bottle of that Ace of Spades "Midas."

Do you remember the jerky prison guard, Percy Wetmore, from the movie The Green Mile? The actor who played him, Doug Hutchison (now 51-years-old) married his high school sweetheart recently in Sin City (Las Vegas). That is nice isn't it? Until you find out that when I say "high school sweetheart" I don't mean they've been sweethearts since high school I mean she is 16-years-old and in high school. It is legal to marry minors in Las Vegas with parental consent. In a comment the couple said, "We're aware that our vast age difference is extremely controversial but we're very much in love and want to get the message out there that true love can be ageless." I wonder how old her dad is...probably in his mid forties maybe? Splenda is almost 20 years old and I think I would have a problem with her marrying someone older than me...that's just creepy. Hutchison is old enough that he has already written his memoirs called (and this is not a joke) Hey, Guess What? Tom Hanks's Sh-- Smells, Too! [My Adventures in the Toilet of Tinseltown]. Maybe if you put Tom Hanks' name in the title people will buy it by accident. Also, I don't believe Tom Hanks' sh-- smells - mine doesn't why would his?

A lot of "people" are applying for my future job

Yesterday I did a lot of job searching, as always. I applied to several and stopped and talked to a few. There is one that I have my eye on that I really hope works out  - not only because it's in Hollywood, California (I don't think I would have to move there - I think I could work from Mattgarita Island but I'm not sure). If you need me to work for you you'd better act fast because if Aliens to Zombies snatches me up it'll be too late to save me. They are starting a new blog and they are looking for feature blog writers. If they call you, or contact you whichever way zombies and aliens contact people - I know how but you don't want to know, tell them how great I am and that, like Tom Hanks', my sh-- don't stink...that smell is just my rotting flesh. I think that would be a great job right up my alley; I love to write and I love the supernatural and if I don't like it I only have to work there for a little while because 2012 is only six months away and we'll all be zombies or dead anyway so...cool.

Alrighty, I have to shower and do some other non-smelly stuff to get ready for work. I get to work help setting up for the National MS Society Tour de Farms bike rally. I will blog you again tomorrow but you already knew that didn't you? TTTT...MITM (not stinking...out). P.S. if you haven't listened to this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast what are you waiting for...it's not gonna get any better with age! (you didn't think I was gonna forget to plug the podcast did you? really? - TWSS)