The Annual Banzai Blog! (the first and the last)

Good day to you madam and/or sir. I am Matt In The Middle and I would be honored if you would allow me a few moments of your valuable time to demonstrate the remarkable healing powers of the Matt In The Middle blog. While you were reading that previous sentence you probably noticed that any pain that you had been experiencing had miraculously disappeared. And, if you had not been experiencing pain none had begun. I don't know what the heck that was about but I thought I would try something completely different.

I heard that Johnny Mellencougarcamp is going to be getting married to some chick named Meg Ryan - yes, that Meg Ryan. His divorce from his supermodel wife isn't even finalized yet and they are getting married next month. I am thinking about starting a John Cougar tribute band maybe called Jack and Diane or Little Pink Houses or Jack and Diane's Little Pink Houses and see if we can't maybe get a gig playing their wedding. If I get invited to the wedding, and we all know that I will, when I fill out the card to send back that asks if I want beef, chicken or fish I am just going to write, "I'll have what she's having." They just seem like an odd couple to me. (Jack Lemmon foreshadowing)

Speaking of couples I heard that Doogie Howser, Neil Patrick Harris (NPH), is talking about getting married now that gay marriage is legal in New York. He had already proposed to his long-time partner David even before the law passed. Have you seen this David dude? There's a photo there so that was a stupid question I suppose. He's as hot as NPH...that's not fair; they're not following the marriage rules of one ugly person marrying a good-looking person. Cha Cha followed the rules even though I am sure she'd much rather have had a good-looking one. Maybe it doesn't apply to celebs. Now that I think of it celebs don't follow this rule. Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen  and New Orleans Saints' quarterback Tom Brady didn't follow this rule. Now I heard that George Clooney just broke up with his hottie girl friend and Sandra Bullock, another uber-hottie, is "consoling him." All reports are making it out that they are just friends, which is entirely possible and very likely since they are working on a film together, but that isn't worth blogging about so I am going to officially start the rumor (do I need to send out a rumor press release?) that Bullock and Clooney are officially now known as Cloonock. Or maybe Bullney? Cloonlock? It doesn't really matter what we call them because it's just a bunch of Bullooney anyway...or is it? Bullooney - THAT'S IT!

As long as I am in the celebrity-portion of the blog I have to mention that being out of the loop with work and parades and such last week I didn't hear that Peter Falk had died Thursday. He is probably best remembered by most as Detective Lt. Columbo. I had seen a few episode of Columbo but I never really watched that show but I was a huge Peter Falk fan. I think I first became a fan when I saw him in the film The Great Race. I think maybe he should also have been mentioned when we discussed our favorite comics on the Dirty Laundry Podcast this week. Princess Bride, Murder By Death, The In-Laws... he was fantastic. He always seemed like a class-act and a nice guy. He's also only one of two people that I have ever known with a glass eye (you know who the other one was I assume).

Two great comics - Jack Lemmon and Peter Falk

I have so many more Celebrity tidbits like "was Carol Brady a whore?" But I guess the celebrity part of the blog is over...it'll give you something else to look forward to tomorrow.

Maybe Fidel Castro will finally get some major recognition in Major League Baseball. Anybody who knows anything about Castro knows he's a nut for baseball. Now, since the Los Angeles Dodgers are filing bankruptcy, I heard that there is a chance for a Cuban to maybe soon own a MLB team. I would love to see Mark Cuban own the Dodgers. The Dodgers used to be all about the glitz and the glamor of Hollywood but that hasn't been for quite some time. I always thought it was ridiculous that the owners of the other baseball teams decided who would be owners. Do you think they really care about the fans? They are just interested in making a buck. Steinbrenner cared which is why the Damn Yankees are still fun to watch. Cuban has the $3 million and he just won a championship in Dallas (Mavericks). We can't have steroid players so let's have Cuban pump some life back into "a game." The other owners are afraid that when people saw what he (would do) for the Dodgers they might have to take a few bucks out of their MATTresses to make baseball fun again.

Another long blog and still a half-filled notebook - Life is Good. Thank you for sending the good thoughts my way. I have the one interview tomorrow afternoon and I am taking the second step this morning for another job I applied for yesterday after they called me last night. When it rains it pours and soon I will actually have to decide which job I want to accept - The Secret (instant view on Netflix) works. Two years of drought and now Niagara will soon be falling and I am gonna be the dude in the barrel. BANZAI!!!!

Have a super Tuesday without rain in the MIDDLEwest again it looks like. Oh yeah, speaking of baseball, Fabio's team took both games of a double-header last night. Enough already...sorry. TTTT...MITM (blogging off until tomorrow) TA!