Last night. I mean this morning, I got home from working the Wiz Khalifa concert and was kinda adrenalized I guess so I watched the DVR of Survivor: Redemption Island. I have been doing pretty good at watching what I have been eating lately and have been dropping a few LB's lately that have slowly crept back on. Getting home from the concert this morning I had major-munchies. I hadn't eaten dinner but I am sure that I had the munchies from the contact-high I received from being around 5,000 youngsters whose clothing... reeked of some all not too unpleasant smelling smoke; remember that I have always liked the scent of skunk. So, while I was watching Survivor I went to the fridge and crabbed a couple sticks of Weight Watchers cheese. Let the floodgates open!!! Isn't it weird how you can be hungry and not give in and the feeling will subside but as soon as you eat something it's GAME ON? It's the same thing when you're drinking and you have to pee and as soon as you "tap your keg" you're making trips to the loo every five minutes. After the two innocent cheese sticks, which were only two WW points between them, I ate a whole container of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey and two Zebra Cakes. Now I have an exotic zoo rumbly in my tumbly. How do potheads stay so skinny? Bless the flowers, bless the weeds. I went from a contact-high to a sugar-high.
When did music turn into karaoke? Is American Idol to blame? There are so many "musical" "artists" now that don't even have any musical instruments in their acts. They have some dude or dudette sitting at the back of the stage playing pre-recorded music (oftentimes manufactured by a computer) on a GIANT boom-box-looking system and there's a bunch of knuckleheads out front screaming and yelling obscenities. Maybe I am closer to Matt In The Old Folks' Home than I am to Matt In The Middle. (old crotchety voice to follow...) Back in my day people actually played guitars and drums and then the synthesizer arrived and it's been downhill ever since. Dagnabbit Dennis DeYoung!
I was told last night by my buddy Ed that the blog has seemed a bit dark lately. I know there's a dark one here and there, like M & M's, but I think for the most part there's far more yellow and orange and red blogs. Extraordinarily Large and Sexy Jay told me he didn't think the blogs were too dark (if you listen to the Dirty Laundry podcast you know Jay - part deux of that good time with JC should be on iTunes later today). I will try to be more red and yellow and orange with the blogs though. Everybody has their own problems and you probably read the blog to forget about yours for awhile so I will try to be sunny. I bet it's also nice to know that everyone's kinda crabby sometime. Wasn't that a Dean Martin song? Maybe that was "You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Blogs You." I love Dino! I am not sure if he or Sammy were my favorite member of The Matt Pack.
Tomorrow is tax day. I heard that they are giving us a couple of extra days this year (I would verify that before you MATTcastinate though - NEVER use MITM as your only source for the news). Cha Cha and I did our taxes quite awhile ago. It's funny how you send them in right away when you get money back (we use Turbo-Tax). The times when we had to pay in, though it has been many, many years thank goodness, I would go over to the post office about midnight on tax day so it would get postmarked in time. It's funny how the same act can be changed so much just by one circumstance isn't it? That's true with everything we do every day. One little thing can change everything so all of a sudden you've got the cotton-mouthed munchies and you're watching Survivor at 2:00 AM with a chunky monkey and a couple of zebra cake friends in a marmalade sky.
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| Why couldn't they get a George W. to be the perpetual loser? |
The weather is getting nicer and the sausage races have begun in The MIDDLEwest cul-de-sac here again. Today, as two of them flew by Dirty Laundry Studios Bratwurst was leading but Polish was gaining on him. Chorizo was the smart one today because he was riding in the baseball cap car to the finish line. I really have to start figuring out which one is which meat product so I can start a pool and handicapping the races and making a little scratch. They keep track in Milwaukee as I know that the hot dog wins most of the time and at the President races in Washington D.C. Teddy Roosevelt has never won.
Another thing that has changed because of the nice weather is that the birds are back in town. This morning there was a lady duck in the backyard again. I feed the birds every day and I throw stuff out into Cha Cha's bird sanctuary area; I am a lot like Snow White but old and ugly and not so pure. Cha Cha and I were watching the duck this morning (I am not sure if it's Cheese - of Cheese and Quakers MITM fame) and she took off and flew next door to swim in their pool. What a cool set-up for a duck; your own private lake right next to a free all-you-can eat restaurant. Talking about our fowl friends makes me think of something I have been meaning to blog you... we have a swan in the lake at the entrance to our subdivision. Do swans fly? I don't think they do so how did it get here? Where is it going to go in the winter? I guess with Splenda in college we do have an extra bedroom. The basement is also almost to the point of being suitable for occupancy. I could turn the crawl-space beneath the Tiki Room into a Swan room; the three-foot clearance would be fine for a swan. How appropriate to have a swan live below the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room.
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| I think I will call the swan Natalie (for Portman you silly goose) |
I must be in a better blogging mood because this is longer again (TWSS). Maybe when I am in better spirits I blog more - more blog for your buck. Have a fantastic day please. The podcast is uploading to iTunes right now but it is taking forever. I will let you know when the Dirty Laundry is ready to hang out to dry. TTTT...MITM (jonesin' for some raspberry Zingers or maybe a couple of shrimp tacos out).
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