Matt in the Middle: Another Vegetarian Bologna Blog

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Another Vegetarian Bologna Blog

There's always time for Dirty Laundry!

Good Humpday morning to ya. While I was logging in this morning to type this for you I noticed that this is my 369th blog; I have been doing this for over a year and I missed my own anniversary. It's just like a guy to forget his anniversary. I am downloading the second episode of Dirty Laundry (the podcast) right now; it should be up before 10:30AM or so MIDDLEtime (TWSS). Remind me in 50 weeks that it will be our one-year anniversary there. It seems to be a morning of numbers for me; I just found out that Dirty Laundry is the 11,532nd-ranked podcast on Podomatic. I don't know how good or bad that is but they have something that looks like the stock market index and Dirty Laundry has a green arrow with a 36 next to it so I guess we have moved-up 36 spots. Thank you for listening and making that green arrow possible. Something called House Music London Style is number one - watch out London there's a new podcast in town...you are soon gonna be run-over by America's Dirty Laundry. I am listening to the podcast right now via Roz; hopefully soon it will be available on iTunes.

I said yesterday that I was going to blog today about Facebook and apps. while I was watching The Kennedys the other night I noticed a commercial as I was zipping by that said to download the The Kennedys app. I try not to download too much because I am a germ-a-phobe (viruses) so I don't know exactly what this app is but I cannot imagine it's something I need. I know these apps as well as the Facebook pages we "like" and "follow" is the new way of marketing and selling stuff we don't need to us. I get more junk email now than I ever have before and I know it's due to my Facebook preferences. I just move them to my "junk" folder and wait for the sender to figure out a way around my roadblock. It's actually pretty smart on their parts because they are targeting the people who "like" similar products and we are all busy whizzing by all of the commercials these days. Between that and product-placement (Chevy in Hawaii Five-0) idiots (me, for instance) who have blogs everywhere are probably talking about products.

Terri Hatcher - best Lois Lane ever!!!

Did you hear that scenes from the new Superman: Man of Steel movie are going to be filmed in little Plano, Illinois? Nothing this exciting has happened there since Larry the Cable Guy came to town to film Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector. I missed that one. It pays to sttay rural if you want to attract some Hollywood money. I am guessing Plano is not going to be part of Metropolis rather where Ma and Pa Kent live huh? If you are not familiar with Plano it is near Sandwich, Illinois. When I was a kid one of my favorite jokes was that there was gonna be a new town between Sandwich and Plano called Bologna. That way when you drove out that way you would drive through Plano, Bologna, Sandwich. I was a kid cut me some slack.

Why are there so many ghost hunters and we never hear about zombie hunters or werewolf hunters or vampire hunters? I think there should just be a VanHelser who hunts all of them. ~~I would do it but I am not willing to put in the time it would take to pursue a hobby that doesn't bring any financial reward. I'd rather blog and podcast.~~ Maybe the ghost hunters would let us know if they come across these other creatures but I worry that it would take different equipment. Cha Cha thinks it's because people believe in ghosts and they don't REALLY believe in the other ones. It's okay to believe in ghosts because they just spook us and the other three want to eat our flesh or drink our blood.

Thanks for stopping by to celebrate the 369th MITM blog. If this is the first one you've read you have a lot of catching up to do. I just saw that the podcast is uploaded so I will finalize that and you can click the Dirty Laundry link in the upper right margin to listen now. Thank you for helping Dirty Laundry move out of the 11,532nd slot. I don't know exactly how that is done but listening and "following" are probably factors. I will stop talking about it soon; I'm like a kid with a brand-new toy, Stop by and play anytime; I love to share. TTTT...MITM (hungry).

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Another Vegetarian Bologna Blog

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