Matt in the Middle: Sorrow is the Key that Lets Our Tears Out of Eye Jail!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Sorrow is the Key that Lets Our Tears Out of Eye Jail!

Happy Saturday! There's a heatwave in the MIDDLEwest. It's supposed to be all the way to like 34 degrees this weekend. I may go buy a convertible today.

Yesterday I went over to check that buried SUV like I promised. The windows were tinted almost black so I couldn't see in. The windshield is totally buried under snow as are the front doors. The back door was buried enough that I couldn't get it open. There were tracks heading from the vehicle that were very deep in the snow so I surmised that they were made before the three+ feet of snow froze. I also thought that a snow plow dude wouldn't bury a vehicle in that had someone inside. I assumed there was nobody in there or they had frozen to death already and there was nothing I could do to help so I took some more photos and left. But now my fingerprints are on the handle of the back driver's side door.

Even I could be a ventriloquist on the radio

I have still been thinking about that podcast thing. When I have harebrained ideas I usually bounce them off of Sugar Momma because she's rubber and I'm goo... I used to be glue but that's too much effort anymore. She always tells me when I am being stupid or have a dumb idea, which is every three out of four, but this time she seemed receptive. I feel like Lucy Ricardo. Now what do a podcast about? You will know when I do. Ethyl, I mean sugar Momma, thought the puppet show and ventriloquist podcasts were good ideas. Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy got their start on the radio - can you imagine? Maybe I could to a "MIDDLE's Got Talent" show....come on kids, we're puttin' on a show! I am pretty sure I have the face for an audio podcast.

A quick shout-out to the Egyptians. Good On Ya Mates! This is very exciting for one of the oldest countries on the planet. You have to admire people who fight for what they believe in against all odds. It's like the beginning of the U.S.A. about 235 years ago. History in the making every day right here on planet Earth!

I tried to tell those guys their dames would be upset!

I am trying to make out my notes from plasma-day the other day. I was pumping from my right arm vein so I was writing with my left hand. The bad thing is that I am left-handed...not really. I am getting pretty good at it but some words are hard to make out. Here's something I wrote but I don't know what it was in reference to but it sounds nice unless I am reading it wrong. "Sorrow is the key that lets our tears out of eye jail." Hmmmm very profound phantom left hand!

Oh yeah, the V.D. dilemma!!!! (bump bump baaaaaaaaa) Never mind the "dilemma"... I figured it out. Oh yeah, the V.D. stands for Valentine's Day. But let this serve as a reminder that Monday is St. Valentine's Day. St. Valentine's Day means a couple of things to us in the MIDDLEwest but remember to get your sweety something or take him/her to dinner or (TWSS)... so you don't wind up with the 1930's version of St. Valentine's Day. Restaurants are saying to make your reservations early because they are gonna be really busy... Busy on a Monday night? Yeah, maybe because all of us suckers listen to you tell us that you're gonna be busy so we call you like a bunch of horny lemmings. Self-fulfilling prophecy? Advertising propaganda fulfilling prophecy!

Have a great Saturday and if you're near the Lake Barrington Field House (sounds romantic), which is supposedly near the Onion Pub Restaurant (ca-ching), today or tomorrow stop on in to see some basketball and keep me company. Their first game is at 1:00PM. They play somebody called the Viking Force first. Who sounds more intimidating? Viking Force or the J-Barbs? Boy, won't the Vikings be embarrassed when they lose to the Barbs! That reminds me - did you hear that Ken wants Barbie Millicent Roberts back? Did you know that Barbie has a last name and that she is from the MIDDLEwest (Wisconsin)? More of the useless trivia that is in me noggin' but will not get me on Jeopardy. Barbie and Ken - a true V.D. story in the making. Maybe a trivia podcast...hmmmm "I am grateful for this magnificent washout! but..." cue the music TTTT...MITM (headed north)

3 comments:

AnonymousFebruary 12, 2011 at 9:02 AM
Good Luck this weekend. We won't be there as the house has strep!! I just hope you don't experience any A.W's.!!!
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Matt HelserFebruary 12, 2011 at 10:18 AM
TY...don't need no more A.W.'s have had plenty already. Good lick with the strep
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Matt HelserFebruary 12, 2011 at 10:19 AM
luck not lick...though I hope you lick it LOL
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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!