Matt in the Middle: It's Thirsty...Unless You're Irish!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

It's Thirsty...Unless You're Irish!

Howdy Howdy Howdy!

I was told there wouldn't be spelling!

The Jeopardy test was last night. As you know I won't know anything until they let me know that they want me to take the next step; I am pretty sure that's not gonna happen. They seemed to know that I have problems hitting the knuckler; who doesn't? They also had a curve ball that fell off the table and exploded like a ball of ice cream on a 100-degree day when it crossed the plate. I am fairly certain that I will not make it through to the next round based on last night's performance. Maybe next time I'll get some questions that are more in my wheel-house? Next time I will conjure up the ghost of Art Fleming to help me. See, I know junk like that right off the blog of my head...why didn't they ask me about Art Fleming? Entertainment is easily my strong-suit.

It would certainly make this blog more palatable

I heard that Old Navy has stopped selling some shirts because people were complaining that they were derogatory toward a certain ethnic group. Before I tell you which ethnic group they "offended" let me tell you that a large portion of my Matt/Mutt make-up is this ethnic group and I am not the least bit offended. I am so tired of people being offended by everything and this is one I can finally weigh-in on with genetic and psychological evidence that it does not bother ALL of the people that it supposedly "targets." The shirts Old Navy is taking off the shelves say "Irish I was Drunk" and "Party Like You're Irish!" The second one has a drawing of Snoopy (Who is Charlie Brown's Beagle, Alex?) drinking a beer. My mom's maiden name is McGuire and her grandmother's maiden name was O'Reilly - I got a wee bit of Irish in me (TWSS)! Sometimes Irish I was drunk and sometimes I am. Everybody should party like they're Irish sometimes. I am more offended as a dog-owner that there is a picture of a dog drinking a beer. I am kind of offended that the shirts are stupid but don't care that they poke fun of my Irish heritage as long as they leave potatoes and cabbage and car-bombs out of it. Then we'll have a donnybrook on our hands. Soon you will probably see these shirts at T.J. Maxx and Steve & Barry's (are they still in business?)! I bet the Irish navy is an old navy!

Not quite yet! I need a co-host and celebrities!

Geez, I have so much more to blog and I am runnin' Irish at the blog again (I can say that because I'm Irish). I just love bloggin'!

I downloaded two new podcasts to Roz last night for my plasma listening pleasure today. I downloaded Comedy Death-Ray Radio and I Should Be Writing. I listened to a bit of each this morning and I like them both a great deal. Also, I only drank 40 ounces of water this morning and drained a bit before I left Mattgarita Island and a bit when I go there and it was a much more enjoyable experience this time...my Irish-eyes were smiling instead of floating. These podcasts make me want to do a podcast but I really have nothing worth podcasting. Maybe I should podcast about not having anything to podcast. Maybe I should ask Dan Aykroyd and Burt Reynolds (go to MIDDLE MOVIE REVIEWS to vote now) to be guests.

I need to gain one more Matt In The Middle Facebook fan today to keep the "One-A-Day Plus Iron"streak going. You could be the one to join such luminaries today as: Engineer Dave, Oregon Maria, South Carolina Debbie, The Martin brothers Gary and Greg ("no, we are not relation sir"), Ice Cream Greg (my movie-critic evil twin) and, of course, MADYM and Nature Girl. Hey, where's Sugar Momma in that list? She does treasure her anonymity!

I already have my exit music ready for the podcast that doesn't exist. Now I need a catch-phrase...hmmm. TTTT (when I blog about my V.D. dilemma)...MITM cue the closing theme music

2 comments:

AnonymousFebruary 10, 2011 at 7:36 PM
Thank you for another giggle! Matt, I truly look forward to your blog every night!
ReplyDelete
Replies
Matt HelserFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:19 AM
Thank you D! At least there is one ;)
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!