Matt in the Middle: I'll Take Blogging for $1,000 Alex!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I'll Take Blogging for $1,000 Alex!

Who did Matt In The Middle see in concert with Journey in 1981 at The Rosemont Horizon? Who is (cue today's theme song)?

I am going to apologize right off the bat because I am writing this blog right after getting home from deplasmification and I am light-headed and have no idea where this is HEADed.

That ought do it!

Today was a tough day over at BioLife; probably even rougher than the day that I sprouted a gusher and moved to Beverly. Remember last time I donated plasma they told me that I should drink more water? I am generally an obedient soldier and follow orders so this morning I drank about 98 ounces of water before heading over there. I figured it would go a little faster if I were well-hydrated but it was terrible. The first 20 minutes went fine though I kept popping the blood pressure cuff with my enormous Lou Ferrigno left bicep - I am not stopping the workouts! The blood plasma cocktails were flowing great but then the 98 ounces in my bladder were not making me gladder. The next 40 minutes became more and more excruciating. I tried to occupy my mind with music and podcasts and reading but nothing worked. Then I started to think to myself, "self, when this is finally over you are gonna be in too much pain to walk the thirty feet to the men's room." I was able to obtain this footage of me during the donation and immediately after the donation . The donation did not go any quicker and I was in pain. To hell with hydration...I would rather die of dehydration than to have to endure that again. The last time I felt this way I was on the way to a Bears' game with my brother-in-law Tom and the traffic was at a standstill (a story for another time). This is why men don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies. I can't even hold my water for 40 minutes without wanting to die. (see how this blog gets so long? The right stuff just keeps happening to me!)

Please let it be The Daily Double!

Tonight at 8:00PM MIDDLE time I am taking a test to become a Jeopardy contestant. I am sure once they see who I am and how well I do I will most likely be put on Celebrity Jeopardy. Okay, that last part was a fib but I really am testing to become a Jeopardy contestant tonight. I don't think you actually find out how well you do until you get a call or an email within a year to move on to the next round which will probably be in Kansas City from what I have been told. I have every addition of Trivial Pursuit ever made so maybe I should start reading through them today? I even have an addition that I won on a radio trivia show that is autographed by Richard Roeper. Yes, THE Richard Roeper! I made my way through college winning trivia contests awarded with Budweiser products and Hall & Oates tickets and the like. I am... what is The Natural? I hope the over-hydration doesn't become an issue. "What is I have to pee?" I will probably be like Charlie Brown and forget how to spell Beagel! I meant Beagle, really!

Go ahead, Have a nice day!

The Matt In The Middle Facebook page is up from seven to eight. One-A-Day Plus Iron! Also, I have Two serial pokers now! Yes, Two! I'll be right back... I gotta pee.

I think I will have fish for lunch because that's brain food. What do you expect they live in schools! OMG I crack my dehydrated, light-headed self up! I can tell that I am a bit light-headed and had better gain my Mattity by tonight (scratch that, reverse it). Have a nice Sub Sub Zero Tuesday. I will blog you again tomorrow with stories of how I was robbed or cheated or something because I am a sore loser - ask anybody; that's one thing that all of my friends would agree upon. That, and that I am incredibly handsome with boyish enthusiasm, charm, pep and wonderment! A Matt has to know his limitations! Who was Clint Eastwood as Inspector Harry Callahan in Dirty Harry? TTTT...who is MITM! Wish me luck!

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened!" - Theodor Seuss Geise (Who is Dr. Seuss)

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I'll Take Blogging for $1,000 Alex!

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