Movin' On Up...to the East Side?

My buddy Brian may have solved my sleeping dilemma; I am going to turn on the golf channel when I go to bed tonight. He mentioned that Cubs games always do it for him and that is true for me too but it’s not baseball season and there’s always golf somewhere. Thanks Brian...I am sure this will work.

I found a great Dutch Colonial house for sale that would make a great bed and breakfast. I would most likely be able to host murder/mystery weekends and it would probably be full just about every weekend all year-long. One of the drawbacks is that it is on Long Island, New York and another is that it is listing for $1.5 Million. It has a swimming pool and a boathouse which would save me on winter boat storage fees. The house also has historical significance - it is literature-ally a part of Americana. The address is 112 Ocean Avenue; I like the sound of that; you know how I love the ocean. I also guarantee if I bought this house I could get on television at least once but more likely whenever I wanted to be on television. One of the former owners says when he lived there he used to wake up every morning at 3:15 and go out and check the boathouse. This is perfect because as you all know I am usually up around 3:00 AM anyway so that is perfect for me. There’s a bar nearby called The Witches’ Brew which would help complete the murder/mystery theme. The things that would really help with the publicity is that there were actual murders in the house and several books and a couple of movies made about this house in Amityville, New York. If you want to go in on it with me it would probably be only me because I am fairly confident my family would not be moving there with me.

In a related story that I heard about right as I was getting ready to post this blog there is a two-day workshop scheduled in Baltimore (where I rested on Edgar Allan Poe's grave) "priests and bishops will come away with the expertise required to fill the growing need in the U.S. for exorcists." Apparently there is a shortage on exorcists. I cannot imagine why? They have such a great P.R. Training film called The Exorcist. How can anybody watch that film and not run to Baltimore? I wish I had attended the seminary so I could join. But all of the other priests used to laugh and call me names they never let me join in any of their priesty games. And who organized this training? Bishop Thomas Paprocki of Springfield, Illinois - do we MIDDLES have to do everything around here? Godspeed exorcism trainees. If I figure out how to buy the house in Amity I may be in need of your services soon.

Matt In The Middle has become so Internationally popular that I finally buckled from all of the pressure of my big-time Hollywood friends and launched a film-site. "Internationally" means in my mind right? It is mainly movie reviews at this point but it will probably develop into a movie news and paparazzi site (though I find paparazzi abhorrent). I re-posted the ones I could find and I added my new movie review today. I would eagerly welcome guest reviews and commentaries as long as they follow my strict journalistic standards LOL. Seriously, send me stuff - mattgarita@msn.com - I will give full credit for your writing. You may become famous riding on my coattails like Steven Colbert did with Jon Stewart. The site is called Middle Movie Reviews but that will probably change because it kinda sucks and the ones I really wanted were already taken. Anywho...you can get there by clicking the link in the right margin (Middle Movie Reviews) “suggested links.”

I blogged on too long again. Have a great rest of your Monday. I get to watch Fabio and his team take on our cross-cornfield rivals this afternoon. These guys all play together on the travel basketball teams so this is all for bragging rights this winter. TTTT...MITM (or as all of us big time Hollywood-types say "cut..that's a wrap!")