Less-ons from a More-on

cue today's music

I got home late last night from work (near midnight) and was under the misconception that since I had been up since 2:00 AM and work was very busy because Northwestern University was in town that I would come home and be able to sleep. I finally fell asleep about 1:00 AM and then woke up at 6:00. I know you're probably tired of me whining about no sleep but I am a guy, that's what we do. Several years back I went for a sleep study and they found that I stopped breathing like 200 times an hour so they decided that I had sleep apnea and I got a C-Pap machine. For those of you that don't know that's one of those deals that you have a hose that runs to a mask that you sleep with over your nose and mouth; it looks like you're on oxygen but it's really just forced air and moisture. I had always figured my sleeping problems were do do being overweight but I am not overweight anymore and I still can't sleep. I haven't used the C-pap machine for awhile because it sucks to try to sleep with that stupid thing attached to my face. I can't sleep either way so why waste the electricity? I may try to use it again tonight because my sleeping problem doesn't seem to stem from weight. I must have seen a horrible atrocity in a past life and that's causing my sleeping problems. Would you like some cheese with that whine? P.S. my feeling is there might be poker too...poker, I love poker. I over-think everything which is it the best irony coming from a moron (better than a less-on I guess). Enough lessons and maybe I wouldn't be a more-on.

Dear Abby: I was invited to someone's house tonight to see the Manny Pacquiao/Antonio Margarito fight. I was invited by a friend from work to go to someone else's house. The other house is also of some of my friends but they didn't invite me and I don't want go if it's "by invitation only."Maybe the number of people who were invited are set up for a game of musical chairs or something and I will throw the number off. Maybe it's a mafia hit and by me being there I will be collateral damage. Maybe it's an elaborate surprise party for me and if I don't go I will mess it up. Will I be a party crasher if I go or do you suppose the person who asked me to go is authorized to offer this invitation? I would, of course, bring something (dish to pass and libation) but don't know if I should go and if I don't go will I offend the person that asked me? I really want to see the fight because Manny "Pac-man" Pacquiao is an amazing fighter and will be President of Mexico someday. Many of his trainers say is a better fighter than Ali and Tyson is their primes. Please help Abby. Yours truly, Inner Fight About The Fight. I really am neurotic aren't I (that was rhetorical)?

That last thought made me think about men and sports. I think men are programmed to like sports to take their minds off of sex. No MATTer how many billions of years we get away from the caveman days we are all basically cavemen in sheep's clothing.

I was reading the new Men's Health Magazine (ca-ching) yesterday while getting my pump primed (get your mind out of the gutter caveman - that means donating plasma) and I kept wondering how they personalized my issue just for me. I kept seeing MH this and MH that and felt so special that my blog had gotten so poplar that the magazine was trying to subliminally get me to mention them. It took me a while to figure out that MH didn't mean Matt Helser it meant Men's Health (magazine)...OR DID IT? Nicely played MH...nicely played. You had me at MH!

Please give me your thoughts on my fight-night dilemma. Have a great weekend. I will blog you again tomorrow and let you know my decision, from your help and votes, on the fight. Hopefully you will tell me your thoughts and, as my luck runs, it will probably be a split-decision. TTTT...MITM (knocked out)!