Matt in the Middle: Mitch In The Middle

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Mitch In The Middle

cue today's music

I worked this morning and was going to blog when

I got home but don't know how many people like the MATTinees In The Middle so I decided to wait to get back into the night-time blogging. When I was at work today a guy kept calling me Mitch. I never mind when people call me by the wrong name. I don't correct them because I don't want to embarrass them and who cares anyway? My mom has always gotten crazy mad when people pronounce our last name wrong. Our last name is Helser pronounced Hell Sir. People, more often than not, call us Hesler but who cares? My mom cares, that's who cares? Call me Mitch Hesler and I will answer. Better yet, call me Slim Shady.

Yesterday while I was playing a plasma pinata I was reading the Northern Star. The Northern Star is the newspaper of Northern Illinois University. It's a free daily paper and they have it at the plasma joint. There was a couple of stories about an unsolved murder in DeKalb in 1970 with eerie similarities to the recent murder of Toni Keller. A couple of the weirdest to me were that Donna Doll was reported missing on October 2, 1970 and Toni Keller was reported missing on October 4, 2010 and where the bodies were discovered. Toni Keller, though they still have not positively identified the body, was found about one mile east of my house. Donna Doll's body was found about one mile west of where my house

is now in a cornfield near Nelson Road. I hope one of the similarities that does not happen is that the killer goes free. The suspect in 1970 was eventually released because of lack of evidence though the case is still open in hopes that something will materialize to solve the case. With them not being able to positively identify the remains they found this year I hope that doesn't happen with this case. The way forensics are these days I am confident there will be closure this time. Is our neighborhood in the MIDDLE of a weird vortex? I will be out of town the beginning of every October from here on out.

What's the inside of the bend of your arm called? The anti-elbow? It has to have a name right? My anti-elbows look like they have the stigmata. That's why I was wondering what they were called. Anti-anything shouldn't have the stigmata.

I made the easiest potato soup in the world last night. I hadn't made it in a couple of years but Sugar Momma asked me to make it out of the blue. I didn't even think she liked it that much. The great things about it are: it's very easy to make, it's low in calories, it's low fat and it tastes great. I made it 100% vegetarian though you wouldn't have to. It tastes samfrantastic! I will put the recipe over there in the margin ---->. Great for cold weather which most likely will come soon right?

Friday is amongst us. I am going to get paid to see Northwestern play basketball Friday night so I will probably be blogging late again. Kazakhstan...what a country! The weather is going to start to get cold so get out there and get your potato soup supplies. You'd better do it now before everybody reads this blog and there's a run on the stores. Matt In The Middle...It's a household name. TTTT...MITM Audi 5000!

1 comment:

Vicky R. BensonNovember 12, 2010 at 5:37 AM
Thanks, Matt, for your blog. It got picked up for me to read because I have a Google news alert active for Toni Keller. She is related to my daughter-in-law. So very sad. But I hope this doesn't interfere too much with your plans to stay away early October from now on: Toni was actually not missing on October 4. She was last seen on October 14 and reported missing on October 15. I do hope they find who actually did it and don't just latch onto a suspect who is convenient to charge.
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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!