Matt in the Middle: Stuck in the MIDDLE with You!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Stuck in the MIDDLE with You!

Thursday already? There must have been a holiday this past weekend. Don't take your trash to the curb one day too early.

I worked out today for the first time since my trip. It wasn't that bad but that's probably because I was watching Gladiator; I finished Sweatin' To Schindler last week. I love movies about gladiators which probably explains why I'm metro for Russell Crowe. I must have a thing for birds - I love Crowe and I slept with Poe (The Raven). I smell a poem or song coming on. I have also noticed I have a penchant for cemeteries. I went to see Joseph Glidden

(invented barbed wire here in DeKalb) right after I started this blog and now I went to Edgar Allan Poe's grave site twice in three days. Sparky and I went to Cleveland earlier this year and I took a photo of a cemetery right across from where the Cleveland Indians play (that photo right there). When Sugar Momma and I visited Key West we went to that cemetery too. There is a cemetery just north of here that I have been wanting to go to and I may go tomorrow after they recycle my blood. Maybe the vampires and zombies don't like newly de-plasmafied blood. And now I want to have a seance? There's something creepy about me...Stacee's right. I started the Macabre Club (should be Mattcabre Club) but maybe that's just the beginning??? Classiness is next to macabreness.

I saw the end of Celebrity Jeopardy today when I got out of the shower after working out. Tomorrow is the finals of all of the week's winners. The finalists are: Jane Curtain, Michael McKeon and Cheech Marin. Who says comedians aren't intelligent. Good thing I'm not funny because then I'd be considered dumber than I already am considered now...there was one?

Oh yeah, I teased yesterday that I would tell you about how I vandalized a van with Idaho plates that was parked next to the Jefferson Memorial. Okay, you know me so "vandalize" is too strong of a word because I wouldn't do that but I punk'd the van I guess. The whole weekend we saw people with Boise State garb on because Boise State was in town playing Virginia Tech in football in Landover, Maryland. It was crazy how many people drove from Idaho to Washington D.C. for this

game; who was watching the general stores? Anyway, we got out to the car after visiting T.J. and there was a van parked really close to us in the front like they backed in way too close. I noticed they had two Boise State magnets on the rear of the van so I went up and turned one of the magnets over. Then, thinking I was funny I turned the other one over then I got in the car passenger seat and buckled in. As Randy started the car the brake lights on the van came on. There was a lady in the driver's seat the whole time. she must have been scared out of her mind hearing someone playing with her rear-end (TWSS) in one of the most violent cities in the country. Sorry I messed with your back-side ma'am but I think it brought your team luck as you beat Virginia Tech.. If you need me to follow you around so you keep winning please let me know.

FYI - DirectTV is offering a free NFL Ticket preview this weekend. I will use it and I will love it but I will not buy it because it's too expensive. I have a fantasy football team but I will stay glued to one or two games on TV, one game on the radio and the computer on NFL.com following the action.

A couple of my good friends (Mary and Stacee) have come up with the thought that Matt In The Middle needs a theme song and they have suggested that Stuck In The Middle With You would be a good theme song. I agree because I am happy to be stuck in the MIDDLE with most of you. The ones who aren't stuck in the MIDDLE...I wish you were here too so we could have a big MIDDLEparty. Let me know when you're coming and I'll have a room ready for you. So, by official Blogger Decree, I know have an official theme song. Thank you MADYM (or MAM) and Stacee; you are my chief councils and I shall consult you on all such matters.

Alright, that's enough out of me. I am giving plasma Thursday and I am going to visit that creepy cemetery just north of here out in the MIDDLE of farm country. If I don't return remember that Stacee and Mary are in charge and don't treat them like substitutes because Judii is in charge of discipline and you don't even want HER on your bad side so behave (you have to watch this one). Blog you later...cue the theme song (I have to figure out how to put music here but I don't want to get you in trouble if you read this at work). Thanks, as always, for stopping by. TTTT!!!!

** boise state graphic removed and turned upside down from themacdaily.com and stealers wheel graphic blogged away from kolablogradio.com **

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Stuck in the MIDDLE with You!

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