Blog Noir

cue temporary theme song

Tuesday is set up to be the second worst day of my life. This is the beginning of Matt In The Middle: The Dark Years! I hope this black period only lasts one blog. If you are squeamish turn back now (that's always a sure-fire way to get people to continue on at their own risk).

Ready, Set, Let's Go...

I don't know what set this off but I think my parents did me a disservice by making me a nice guy. I am passing this trait on to my kids and they will probably pay in their adult lives. When you're nice like you and I the un-nice like us because we're nice and cause no threat to them and their stuff. We are told to be kind and to do unto others while the others we are doing unto keep their stuff and take ours. They are just trying to squelch the niceness revolt. They are busy doing unto us alright.

Was this darkness started by my visiting grave sites? Recently watching Grapes of Wrath? Is being out of work finally getting to me? Is it because my daughter is away at school? Is it because I'm writing a novel that is dark and depressing? Am I alone with my thoughts too much? Does depression run in my family? Is it a combination of all of these things? I know it will probably be done with this one blog so maybe I just need to get it out of my system and then move to Czechoslovakia. I'll zip in and zip out, it's like going to Wisconsin. I got the (bleep) kicked out of me in Wisconsin.

I know you feel the way I do from time-to-time. You feel like you've been screwed most of your life (and not the good way).

It's not an issue with my family fortunately but this country needs socialized medicine. I just feel like crabbing about everything that bugged me today while I mowed the lawn. We think we're such a great country but we are one of the few that doesn't take care of our people. That's because our country is run my the fat-cat wealthy and they want to stay wealthy while you and I tread the muck and mire as hard as we can just to get by.

I told you to turn back. I came to the conclusion today, and this absolutely cannot be disputed, "ALL OF LIFE IS AFTERBIRTH!" (I should patent/trademark/copyright that because that will probably be at least a tee-shirt one day).

I am giving plasma Tuesday morning, because that's the sort of thing that suckers (I mean nice people) do, and then I am going to come back home and open my Elderberry Wine so I can smell of elderberries. A lot of the great writers were winos or alchees so when the bottle is empty I may switch to something with a bit more whammy. A lot of the great writers and artists also had bouts with depression so, daily double. I better watch it I am staring to cheer myself up. Let's drink to Hemmingway! Come on over if you want but I don't mind drinking alone. The uncorking will probably be around 10:30AM. There's booze within walking distance if I don't have what you pleasure.

I have thanked you before for indulging me and I thank you again because that's what nice guys do. Thank you for letting me vent and hopefully suppressing the feelings again for a month or so. I will just continue to be a nice guy and finishing last because why would I want to become what I don't like? I will just have to whine/wine every now and then and get it out of my system; I'll try not to make a monthly habit of it (it's not my mattstruation time yet by the way, thank goodness or this would have been much longer - TWSS).

Who knows, maybe by posting this Monday night I will awake Tuesday morning and be all better but these thoughts have been in me noodle since early this morning but maybe I was just in blog mode and trying to keep the blog fires burning until I got it out of my cranium now. Enough already.

Have a nice day, I know I will be starting to be happier at about 11:00 - 11:30. Come back tomorrow and see that I have moved on and Blog Noir is dead (no pun intended). Smell ya!