Matt in the Middle: Treasure Found On Mattgarita Island!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Treasure Found On Mattgarita Island!

Aloha! I'm back from the airport and my Hawaiian brother is back in the Middlewest for a couple of weeks. It's chilly this morning (about 60 degrees) so it probably feels like about 30 degrees to him. My dad and I picked him up at the airport (ORD) and we were back to my parent's house by 5:45; it's nice to get in and out early (TWSS) and be going against traffic (TWSS) when rush hour begins.

This being up at 3:00 AM thing works to my advantage on days like this. I figure I must have been conditioned for this "military" wake-up ability when I was in Drum & Bugle Corps as a kid.

You really don't know what parts of your life are preparing you for later until you get there and are prepared. I should probably be a limo driver with my ability to adapt quickly. I was, actually, a limo driver for a very short period of time between jobs quite a while ago. Sugar Momma commented then that I had a weird odor about me. She said it wasn't smelly but just different. I never figured out what it was but I am guessing maybe formaldehyde from dying a slow death from never sleeping. My body was rotting from the inside like in a Stephen King novel.

Tomorrow is Splenda's official graduation. It seems very exciting for her and it is a big deal when it happens but both Sugar Momma and I say we can hardly remember anything about that day/night. Funny how such big things become not so big later on. I guess as we go through our life's journey high school graduation is pretty small in comparison to what comes after. Enjoy it while you can youngsters...the Middle-ages are coming fast.

As promised, here are some before and after photos of Mattgarita Island. I just put them out there in the margin and took off the kitchen tile project. Hopefully you'll all get a chance to come out and visit Mattgarita Island at one time or another. As you might imagine, in the Middle it is seasonal. During excavation I uncovered buried treasure on the new site of the bar. The Easter Bunny left a little present to help pay for the renovation. I should probably hang this quarter behind the bar like most bars hang their first dollars...I believe I will. It will be there until some neighbor kid hears the ding-ding man (that's right I said ding-ding man). "Whatcha lookin' for, buried treasure?" (Splash!)

I just went downstairs to get some Macadamia nuts that just got off the plane from Oahu and the whole house smells like Axe. Apparently it's better to small good than to feel good dahling. Maybe I should have used Axe when I drove the limo. Axe didn't exist yet then...

maybe I should have invented Axe when I drove the limo. I went in my son's room to get his Axe collection for a photo, I guess I should have included his guitar in the photo, and I wonder how he decides which way to smell on any given day. I guess today is "last day to be seventh-grader Axe." What ever happened to Old Spice? I guess it got the Axe (omg am I hilarious? - the answer should have been yes!)

On the way from the airport to Boulder Hill, Limo'ing my brother for his Middlewestern Tour, he mentioned the Interstate in Hawaii? Is that even possible? He said H3 is the shortest Interstate in the country. Considering it cannot join two states unless you have like a 3,000 mile bridge I would imagine so. I always thought "inter" meant "between" two or more and "intra" meant "within" one. Maybe the Middle educational system is failing me. Oh well, it's too late to re-learn that kind of thing now; I'll just chalk it up to intramural stupidity. I must be one of the moron twins..."we're not twins." (Splash!)

You know better weather is here when the Farmer's Marker is open in MiddleCornTownville, USA. Splenda and I stopped by yesterday. We didn't buy much because we didn't need anything but we did gt two peaches (very juicy and good), a vegetarian cheddar jalapeno muffin with vegan cheese to split (haven't tried it yet) and got free samples of fresh kettle corn (will probably buy some next time). It runs every Thursday now until sometime in October. Come on out; I'll buy you a fresh lunch.

"Have a happy Friday" from The Department of Redundancy Department. Mahalo for reading this; you are all like ohana. Blog you tomorrow...Aloha!

** gunnery sgt. hartman photo bivouaced from freedomsphoenix.com **

1 comment:

Matt HelserJune 4, 2010 at 9:00 AM
These photos looked better when I previewed. Doesn't preview usually show how the view should look? The blog photos are positioned totally different than in the preview...sorry. Just imagine the blog looking better than it does.
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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!