Matt in the Middle: Insert Your Own Clever Title Here!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Insert Your Own Clever Title Here!

Today is ground zero for the early summer. When this hectic day is done it should be smooth sailing from here on out. Actually, when we get to 2:00 PM I will become Cabana Matt and it's clear sailing 'til morning. Thursday and yesterday were jam-packed from pre-sunup to way past sundown. Why are there 10,000,000 people at Wal-Mart at 10:00PM on a Friday? Is that the new shopping mall on payday? Today is already started with last-minute graduation party prep and then baseball in Kirkland for the boys at 11:00 with the party starting at 1:00. I don't know who ended up getting invited and who did not but if you were missed it was an oversight caused by madness and come to the graduation party 1:00 - 6:00 PM today in the MIDDLE of the cornfield. That's why they call it an open house...if you forgot to invite someone it's their fault not your!

Hey, maybe I will start eating right again tomorrow. I have strayed and I need to get back to what got me to where I am now.

If we ever sell our house (when we move down-island) we should have an actual house open-house while we are having an open-house neighborhood party. No, maybe not! Have you ever heard about people hiring actors to portray neighbors

or paying neighbors to look happy and neighborly when they have people coming to look at their house? I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand it seems like false advertisement but on the other hand maybe we shouldn't assume...no neighborhood looks like the town in The Truman Show (Seahaven).

I would be remiss in my duties as a Middlestate Interstate driver (yes, Hawaii...INTERstate) if I did not report that Thursday when we went to Middlewaukee to see the Brewers beat the Cubs gas prices near the Wisconsin border were cheaper (as always). $2.69 in Dekalb and $2.55 near the border. WTF (why the face)?

This graduation party set-up has been more stress-free than I thought it would be. It has been a lot of work but things that we probably should have been doing in the yard anyway. Hard work usually gives you something to focus on so you don't worry and stress I think. I guess we may finally be over that hump in our lives where we worry so much about things like this. The thing I worry about today is that it's going to be hot and humid and I am going to have trouble keeping a barrel of beer cold. Even rain may help to keep the beer cold. Do I switch my dry dance to a cool-front dance and chance the rain? I am Don Cornelius your Soul Train weather dance conductor! It's Weeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaather Dance!!!!

Sorry that the blog today seems to be singularly-focused. The blog usually consists of the scattered ramblings of my brain and my brain has been too preoccupied to scatter. The scattering begins in 9 hours...come to the party so I can write about you tomorrow. It's better than yesterday's blog since there wasn't one yesterday due to business. Actually, yesterday's was probably more thought-out and better written.

Well this is short and sweet but I have to do the stats from Friday night's double-header (we split) and do the line-up and batting order and then go get ice and head to the thriving metropolis of Kirkland, Illinois to face an undefeated baseball team that has been winning most games by the slaughter rule. Actually, this makes it less stressful. We don't expect to win, none of the fans expect us to win and if we do it's a HUGE win and if we lose it may be by the slaughter rule so we get out of there sooner. I would love to win though...just now thought game at 11:00...I better make extra Gatorade (ca-ching).

Have a great morning. I hope to see you on Mattgarita Island sometime later today or tonight. Either way I will probably blog you tomorrow though it may be later than usual.

** truman show photo stolen from fanpop.com **

2 comments:

DebJune 12, 2010 at 8:42 AM
Have a great day. Congrats to Chloe. Say hi to all the Grange Ct. and Rd. neighbors. We miss you all!
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Matt HelserJune 16, 2010 at 9:38 AM
Thanks Debbie we miss you guys too. Not to make you feel bad but you and Richard would have loved the party...maybe next time (your place or ours?)
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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!