If you don't read this blog maybe you'll never see them again unless you remember where you left them. So, If you see me walking down the street with a pink Sleeping Beauty umbrella wearing blue mirrored shades in a tux drinking from the barrel of a glass pistol please write a song about me. " I suppose you're just a harmless beachcomber who happens to be wearing a tuxedo."I am not going to go on about the party any more other than to say there are people I really enjoyed seeing again and there were a couple of neighbors that seem to be mending their differences because of my Mai Tais...whoever says nothing good comes from a good island cocktail must be drinking the wrong ones. If you are mad at me come on over and let's talk it out over a few dozen concoctions. You don't need to make up a story about how you are mad at me....it actually is better if we start out happy because there are still world problems to solve too you know. If we don't solve them
who will? My favorite cousin (I can say this because I am sure none of my other cousins read this blog but if they do it's a tie) has brought it to my attention that there has been no sun since the party. Maybe some of the people who were at the same place at the same time have caused a polarity shift or something and now there will be X-years of darkness. Not even any sun yesterday and that day is called SUNday! If the sun doesn't come back soon I guess we'll have to have a polarity-re-reversal party to right what we have wronged. Oh bother! I would suggest a native dance but that didn't work so well last time I suggested it.
We went out and had to buy another canopy tent yesterday because the wind actually must have damaged the one we borrowed. It appeared not to be the case until we tried to fold it back up. I think this whole deal would have been a lot cheaper if Splenda hadn't graduated from high school and we just supported her for the rest of her life. Just kidding, of course (sort of).
You know how "50 is the new 40" and "green is the new black" and "Matt Helser is the new Leonardo DiCarpio?" Well I think "tired is the new energized."
Hey how aboot (Canadian accent) that World Cup Soccer deal. Do you you know about this...have you heard about this? It turns out that soccer is really popular in the World. Have you heard about this...do you know about this? Most places in the World, it turns out, call soccer football. Now that hockey is over and The Chicago MiddleHawks are the Stanley Cup champs and the NBA Championship (east coast - west coast...boooring) is just about over and baseball is pretty much meaningless until September I say let's jump on the futbol wagon and rock this puppy...I guess U.S.A. has a pretty good team. Is David Beckham or Pele or Sylvester Stallone on our team? I never really thought about this until typing his name just then but...Stallone had to be pretty tough and sure of himself to stick with the name Sylvester.
Sufferin' succotash, I have NEVER known a Sylvester (first name) in my life and the only two I even know OF are Sly Stallone and Tweety's nemesis. I know it's unlike me to get side-tracked but LET'S WATCH WORLD CUP SOCCER..USA, USA, USA, USA, USA...## Neighborhood alert ## Looks like "The Old Simmons Place" is getting a new fence. I will update as my nose for gossip gets more information. There's a green tag in the window (building permit) of the house and some very tanned gentlemen with hole-digging machinery and a truck full of sand and posts are ascending on the house.
Have a nice sunless day. If you're really bored the Dekalb Cardinals have four games this week - three at home and a tornado/grad party make-up game in Kingston so come on out. There was mention that there may be adult refreshments...the other teams though I believe so don't bring your tequila-sniffing chihuahuas near our stands. Blog you later with the news that we beat the Burlington Mariners tonight...fingers crossed.
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