Still a Million Blogs Shy of a Millionaire!

In yesterday's blog I kidded about our trip to southern Illinois being a lot like Planes, Trains and Automobiles. I didn't say it in so many words but, I eluded to it in several of my references and I know you knew what I was blogging about. The rest of that day turned out to be much more like that film. We left to head north at exactly 13:00 and the weather was terrible. There was ice everywhere and it was still coming from the sky mixed with snow and rain. The roads were terrible. Occasionally I could get up to 70 miles per hours but not for long when it did happen. My hands were hurting I was gripping the wheel so tightly; I had really wished that we had taken the 4Runner. When we got about two hours north of our starting point we stopped for fuel. Cha Cha ran in to the gas station to use the ladies' room and I went to pump the gas. The car was glazed over and the fuel compartment was totally frozen shut. I thought to myself, "self, what the heck are you gonna do?" I figured that probably had something in there that I could buy to spray that would melt the ice to get the little door open. I then decided to try my pocket knife. I opened the blade and sliced the frosting from around the door in those little gaps and used the knife to pry the door open. I am the MacGyver of fueling cars that are frozen solid. Then we started to head further north. Northward Ho! MattGyver!

On the next leg of the trip we saw a semi in the ditch totally jack-knifed on the East side of the road with the tractor facing straight West and the trailer on its side running Northwest to Southeast. A little further up the road we saw semi on the West side of the road with the trailer wrapped around a light post with a slice in the metal from top to bottom and the tractor detached stuck in the ditch. Yet we kept heading North with ghost-like knuckles. As we got up toward Champaign we decided that we were going to call it quits and stay in a hotel for another night. Cha Cha called and made the reservation.

Now it's 04:28 and the toilet is clogged. At $119 a night I would hope the toilet would at least flush properly. I have been trying to use a coat hanger to unclog it but every one of the hangers in the big wooden closet has those things hanging down from the wood so you can hang pants on them. Those don't work real well for unclogging toilets. There's hardly anything in the toilet either. I may have to go down to the lobby and sell some shower curtain rings to buy a plunger. I always fashioned myself the Neal Page in that movie but I have just discovered that I am Del Griffith, DAH! I never thought about it but, what does Del stand for? Delbert? Wendel?

I cannot even believe I found this picture (I am not alone)

I am trying to watch True Detective now on HBO GO but am having trouble. I figure I could watch it while the water in the commode slowly goes down but it isn't working very well. Cha Cha told me that she watched it while I was sleeping. It would have been so much easier if the hotel had HBO like I had asked. That was supposed to be the deal-breaker for me. I am not near as tough as I want to be.

In a couple of hours we will try to complete this journey. I wonder what horrors adventures that final leg of the trip holds. I got the toilet unlogged and it was not pretty. I will spare you the details but, if you need to know what I did in case this ever happens to you, send me a message and I will let you know. Let me just say that I picture this is the way that I would give an elephant an enima with all the trimmings. Whatever you do don't mess around in the garbage can by the ice machine on the third floor. It also involved that doohicky that holds the toilet paper roll and the spring inside of that.

Okay, I am going to watch True Detective now before the sun comes up. I don't have to work until 22:00 so I have some time. May as well let the sun come out (if it is coming out today) so there is less of a chance of bad roads. Thanks a lot for laughing at my true-life antics. I always think most movies are far-fetched but, I now believe most of the ridiculous things we see in movies and on television probably happened to someone at one time or another. Unfortunatley, I think most of them have happened to me within the last three days too. Have a great day (mine started-out in the crapper) and thank you for stopping by. We will probably record a new podcast in a couple of days - I'll give you the full poop when something changes (oh, you caught that one huh?). TTTT...MITM (smelly but out) TA!