Extinction is Coming!

Yesterday I called Frontier Communications to cancel our internet service because the new Xfinity Wifi is working great and lightning-fast. Does it get faster than lightning? The lady on the phone said she could not help me because their system was down and that I would have to call back. Seriously? So, today I have to call back, This makes me feel better about the decision to cancel. They cannot even keep the system up in their own facility? This is like something that would be in a comedy sketch. Not a funny one but one of those stupid unbelievable ones that falls between the funny ones because they had three minutes to fill.

Even this makes no sense

Supposedly the house next door is under contract to be sold to some people from Utah. Hello, my name is elder neighbor... I don't know much about Utah other than: The Osmonds, Mormons (same thing), Salt Lake, the Bonneville Salt Flats,  Brigham Young (same thing), Tabernacle Choir (same thing) and The Utah Jazz. Is it Utah or Idaho that is The Gem State? They go together like salt and french fries (Idaho spuds). If I actually looked things up (The Gem State, for instance) I would have very few things to write about. One of the best parts of me is that I know very little about things. I used to think that I had to know everything; I have found that there is a lot less pressure when you say "I don't know" or "I'm not sure" or "how in the Hell am I supposed to know" more often. Eventually people will think you a bumbling idiot and will stop asking. I do know that the Utah Jazz makes no sense. It made sense when they were the New Orleans Jazz; why didn't Utah change the name when the team relocated? Because what else would they be? The Utah Salt? The Utah Mormons? Other teams change their names all the time.

Do you know what Mrs. Howell's first name was? These kinds of things I know (I will tell you at the end of the blog in case you don't know).

It is tomorrow now - that is not possible BUT IT IS! I called Frontier back and they tried the old, "you're not authorized to make those changes is (Cha Cha) available?" Joke's on you gate keeper ha ha ha; she works from home and she is just up those 13 steps. So I was granted the distinct honor of being able to deal with them. I had been the one who dealt with them for the past nine years on everything but, when it came the time to disconnect, I was not worthy. Nice try Ms. Linebacker! I got past your shoddy defense. The usual questions from that little laminated card or the computer screen in front of her started dancing from the phone receiver. "Can I ask why? Did you contact us saying that you were having issues?..." Then, for some reason, they can have it disconnected by 5:30 PM tomorrow. Why does it take another 28 hours to push a stupid button. I could record, edit and launch a new load of Dirty Laundry Podcast and have it heard all over the world by 17:30 tomorrow. I could write this blog and have it launched to Neptune and Pluto within the next 15 minutes. Who you crappin'? Though these thoughts rumbled through my noggin' I merely said "thank you" as I spoke to Frontier for the final time. Onto a new frontier.

I just realized that I know very little, besides their state capitals, about: Montana, Utah, Idaho or Wyoming. I think, of the four, I have only been to Montana. Wouldn't it be funny if those were the states that had teams in the Final Four? Brigham Young is in the tournament. I pick Brigham Young to win the NCAA Tournament based on this alone. I did well on my Oscar picks based on nothing so, that is my new system.

I have heard a lot about the sixth extinction lately. The first I heard about it was on our show but, since then, I have heard about it four more times in totally unrelated areas. One more time will be the sixth - weird. That, combined with the Malaysian flight still missing, makes me wonder what's going on? Is Earth on it's last leg? I really wish I knew how much time we had so I could do a bunch of crazy stuff without fear of reprisal. What would you do if you knew you only had a week and everything was gonna end? You wouldn't have to feel guilty about leaving nothing for your family or anything because it would all be gone? ALL OF IT! What would you do? Most of the things we do are to create memories or build something for the future if you think about it. If there were no future why would I need to make memories or build something (wealth, health...)? What would I do? What would you do? I seriously do not know what I would do. I would spend it with family and friends for sure. I am fairly sure it would involve travel. Probably in a stolen Ferrari or maybe a 1966 Pontiac GTO "The Judge." There would be gambling involved. I would start eating red meat again; I would have a steak. Who cares about cholesterol when death is eminent? I don't even know if I have ever had a cholesterol problem but, I don't think I want one. Now I have something new to occupy my mind.

Tomorrow, my Friday night, my parents are coming over and Friday night, my Sunday morning, we are going out with The Lost and Found Socks! It is nice having the real Friday nights off. It sounds like we are going to Villa Verone Ristorante Italiano in Geneva. I am not worried about being whacked - I always sit with my back to the wall facing the door so I can face it head-on! That's why I am not afraid to say where I will be. Just don't shoot the connoli! The last time Cha Cha went there the owner, Pietro, made her park the Fiat right up front. Sometimes being a podcasting sensation has it's privileges. She thinks it is because it is an Italian car and the dude liked the car but, I know the real reason. I wonder if they want to go to one of the casinos afterward? The sixth extinction is coming you know.

I am just prattling-on now. I have to get some of my beauty sleep; I am convinced it will work eventually - extinction willing. This is my 2AM Friday morning you know. Thanks a lot for hanging-out and letting me spout-off. This turned into kind of a long one. Have a great night. I will probably blog tomorrow after my parents leave. If not, I will catch you some time later. TTT?...MITM (almost extict) TA!

It was Eunice BTW!