Matt in the Middle: The Blog of Excuses!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Blog of Excuses!

I haven't blogged in almost a week. I don't know if I didn't have time or I wasn't inspired or what but here I am again. It was actually a little of both - lack of inspiration and little time. Additionally, we did not record the Dirty Laundry Podcast last night either. We will record it later today but I am stuck on "a bit" that I am working on so for some reason I am in a creative block cycle right now. I am blogging anyway in hopes that maybe by blogging blandly I will get rid of the bad juju and open the creativity pores once again. Also, I have been feeling kind of sick ever since getting back from our weekend in St. Louis. Additionally: I ran out of creative gas, my mind had a flat tire, I didn't have enough inspirational cab fare, my laptop didn't come back from the cleaners, an old friend came in from out of town, someone stole my notes, there was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locusts, IT WASN'T MY FAULT I SWEAR TO BLOG!!!!!!!

I am watching my DVR'd Curb Your Enthusiasm and they just has a commercial (I saw it as fast forwarding through it) for the Dairy Queen Blizzard. Was that well planned or just coincidence since we are just now cleaning up from the worst snow we have had this year so far in the MIDDLEwest. I think it was probably just a coincidence. Who thinks about DQ this time of year?

I just got back from the store. I love going to the store in the MIDDLE of the night. There are few people there (even less today with the storm still being new to most) and you can get in and get out. I always love a little of the old in-out-in-out. I also like driving in the snow. Why have a 4Runner in the MIDDLE of the country if you don't get to 4-wheel every now and again? It's great for the boat and for the snow. It would also be great for mud and sand but seldom do I run into those around these here parts. With the storm yesterday and last night I have a sneaking suspicion that my co-workers (the ones who aren't unlucky enough to get Tuesday and Wednesday as their weekends) had yesterday off. If that is the case and they got off with pay do I get an extra vacation day or is it just another F-U that comes with having Tuesday and Wednesday as my weekend? I have a couple of people beneath me in seniority now and it is my hope that eventually I will get a better weekend. It's been a year of this crappy weekend and I am tired of being Humpday Helser (patent/trademark/copyright pending - though who else would want that?). Maybe it's more like Humpweekend Helser? I am so insulted that my own blog has to put the red squiggly under my last name. I know I can now add it to the known words but I am already insulted that I have to. (with that I ended a sentence with a preposition in protest).

Fabio is now on the high school tennis team. He walks around the house during all of his waking hours with his racket and a tennis ball. He bounces it constantly. Between his legs, behind his back... I am happy he is excited. I hope this enthusiasm carries throughout the season when it begins. He has never played tennis before but he is very athletic. He has been a baseball player, a football player for a short time and a basketball player and now a tennis player. He is tall and thin so I think he will do well. He has great reflexes and is fast and quick so he'll do well. He was a really good pitcher in baseball but he did not like the responsibility of being the key player in the game. Maybe a more individual sport will interest him even more. More on this later I am sure.

Fabio & Bo know multi-sports!

I just found out that everybody did work yesterday; the duties just changed because of the weather. Drat!

I have to get a few things done so I will end here. We will do the podcast today/tonight no MATTer what. I may just have to cancel the thing I was working on until next week. The show will be good and we will not air anything that does not live up to our lowered expectations for the show. Thanks for being here. I will blog again tomorrow. Have a great day and enjoy the snow if you're in such a climate. If not, enjoy whatever you have where you are. TTTT...MITM (off, slightly) TA!

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Blog of Excuses!

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