Matt in the Middle: This Blog is Gay!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

This Blog is Gay!

cue today's music

I found out too late that Monday was National Coming Out Day. I know this is National Coming Out week but if I can't do it on the "day" what's the point? I guess I'll have to wait another year.

The whole National Coming Out Day got me to thinking (thanks Judi). Columbus Day has parades and Gay Pride has parades so why don't the Gay Pride Parades coincide with National Coming Out Day? I don't know who to contact at the clubhouse (hey, that's a good gay bar name) but I would say move National Coming Out Day to the first Saturday in June worldwide and do the parades then all at the same time. Right now some of the 2011 Gay Pride Parades are: June 25th in San Francisco, June 12 in Philadelphia, June 26th in San Paolo, June 4th in Honolulu, April 16th in Miami, Chicago's just says June 2011... Come on people let's get it together. The parades could all be the same day in every Gayborhood and maybe be televised like The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Imagine the coverage and then people could "come out" on that day and what a way to celebrate...a parade. Maybe the parades are on different days to give people a reason to travel. I am not homosexual (that I know of) but I do believe in everybody's

right to choose as long as it doesn't harm anyone else. I don't need to go there girlfriend because I've blogged about that before but I am passionate about America being about freedom. Isn't that why we're all here...literally? I do intend to go to the Gay Pride Parade in Chicago in 2011 if my schedule permits; I know what you're thinking but I already have a date though we could double. Bozo was in the parade last year. Surprised? I would have thought Wizzo and his Stone of Zanzibar and "doody doody doody doos" but I'm not completely surprised by Boz either.

Okay, I guess I am a social liberal (not that there's anything wrong with that). I am not very political but I am a liberal hippie when it comes to people's rights. If you think being a liberal is a bad thing let me know and I will provide a list of things liberals have spearheaded to make this country a better place. I seriously do have a list of this if you want it.

Wow, I guess I kinda got on a soapbox there. What soap would it be? Cheer? All? Arm & Hammer? Omo? Whichever...I'll get off the box now.

Today would have been a good day for me to come out.

I made school lunch, did four loads of laundry and watched the chick-flick "The Proposal" and got teary-eyed while I folded clothes, made dinner (salmon and potatoes), took Sparky for his basketball haircut (that's a haircut for basketball not a basketball-looking haircut) and read People magazine while I waited, went grocery shopping three times... things that have historically been "women's work." I don't mind being the chick but I'm not shaving my legs. Women have always been the unsung heroes of our society.

The People magazine I was reading had an article about Elin Nordegren. It was her first interview since her divorce from Tiger Woods. She's an amazing woman. I don't know how

she can have such a good outlook after the way she was publicly humiliated by someone she loved. She had no idea he was "out" with other women while she was home pregnant and with the kids. It just reinforced the old saying that "no matter how beautiful a person if (inside and/or out) there is someone tired of (being) with them." Sandra Bullock (The Proposal) and Elin Nordegren are prime examples. I feel the exact same as Elin, "I always believe the best of people and when you do that you're going to be really screwed sometimes. My fear when this first happened was that I wouldn't be that way anymore...but I haven't lost that." Good for you Elin. Don't let that schmuck change who you are (other than the size of your wallet).

This blog sure turned out to be a liberal piece of propaganda didn't it? I just start blogging and stop when I smell smoke. I can barely see the keys through the steam I have generated with my flying fingers. If enough of you are interested maybe we could try to get a Matt In The Middle float in the 2011 Gay Pride Parade. Remember this time of the year in high school when we'd go to some barn and turn a hay wagon into a float for the homecoming parade? Well, I went once because I was in Student Council but I left VERY early. Have a nice HUMPday (fitting huh?) I'll blog you again later lunar crater. TTTT...MITM!

3 comments:

StaceeOctober 13, 2010 at 12:16 AM
Thanks for the props on the column to the right! : )
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Replies
Matt HelserOctober 13, 2010 at 11:19 AM
All true and heartfelt. Thanks for propping the pros because it caused me to re-read it and correct a typo :))) (that's my double chin under my smile)
ReplyDelete
Replies
Matt HelserOctober 13, 2010 at 11:20 AM
"props" not "pros"....I should quit being in such a hurry and reread my stuff before posting
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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!