I am currently at an undisclosed location. There is no need to be alarmed. I just wanted you to know that so when you read this and say to yourself, "self, this doesn't seem quite like the usual Matt In The Middle" you'll know that it is but I am blogging under less that optimum conditions. I am using my laptop and, just in case, even though it's fairly new it has problems pronouncing it's "R's". I will do my best to try to annunciate for it but I will probably miss some.
Where I am it is raining quite heavily. Maybe the entire MIDDLEwest is getting rain. I knew it was raining even before I looked out at the dark morning sky. I have somewhat of an "ability" of knowing when the barometer changes drastically. Sugar Momma wouldn't want me to tell you my weather-forecasting talent but I probably will. I don't have any secrets from you. Ever since my vasectomy over ten years ago I get an ache at the residence of Little Matt's downstairs neighbor to the left. I went to the doctor after first discovering this unwanted ability many years ago and I think he thought I was "nuts." It has been about 100% accurate. Fortunately it doesn't happen in the winter. I suppose it's my one super hero power...I would have chosen differently.
I had a mishap yesterday. I was on my way to my undisclosed location and stopped for gas. While I was pumping the gas I was checking the oil.
I heard a loud banging and looked around and Sparky and Sugar Momma were tying to focus my attention toward the back of the car. The automatic nozzle shut-off wasn't working and fuel was pumping from the car like a geiser. I ran to the back of the car and battled my way through the downpour and released the locked nozzle. I suppose I should have looked for the emergency fuel shut-off but I just re-acted and walked right into the fuel. I have always been pretty calm under extreme situations and I just knew the fuel needed to be stopped and I stopped it. I smelled like fuel for the rest of the day and still do a little now. Another good reason not to smoke kids! So I went in and told them and was told that "we just had that fixed." I was under a bit of a time crunch so I didn't make much of a stink but I took some photos of the fuel spill and I will contact Shell Oil probably Monday. I imagine there's a sign there that says something about it being unlawful for me to leave it unattended but I was right there. If it shouldn't be unattended why have the ability to pump while I'm not there? I had the HHR but now I wish I had had the 4Runner because that holds more fuel and I may have been done checking the oil before it got to the $63.00 mark. I took a couple of photos after the puddle had aleady run down the drain they had there. I felt like I was in the Gulf. I promise I don't do these Lucy Ricardo antics on purpose for the blog I guess I am just a boob. We're all boobs I just don't hide it I guess. I'm a big suppoter of boob awareness. I suppose that makes me a brasierre.Despite everything I am as happy as a clam. Why are clams so happy? And if they are so happy why doesn't anyone, when asked, ever say that clams are their favorite animal? I thing clam just moved into my top five animals. A list which is headed by manatees and cows.
Sparky and I had a fun evening last night visiting with Nature Girl and the Nature Gang (that's just what I will call the rest of her family for now for blogging purposes). They had a bon fire and they are growing the biggest squash I have ever seen in their yard. I will take a photo of it and put it on tomorrow's blog if I remember.
My notebook is full but I have to shake a clam-feather so I will end this now. I will have good stuff for the next couple of days. Another big blog-worthy day planned today. I hope it is uneventful as far as fuel spills and such. Sorry if I missed some of the missed "r's" I just filled-in about thirty of them. Have a great Saturday and I'll blog you again tomorrow. ARRRRRRRR matey! TTTT...MITM!
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