Matt in the Middle: Imagine There's No Blog; It's Easy If You Try

Friday, October 8, 2010

Imagine There's No Blog; It's Easy If You Try

70th birthday would have been Friday. Though I did appreciate him when he was alive it wasn't until relatively recently that I truly realized his genius. The Beatles were pretty special. I know I am not saying anything that's a secret but it's always worth repeating. I didn't realize it at the time but when I was in New York three years ago my buddies and I walked through Strawberry Fields in Central Park, past the Imagine tribute pictured here and then we went to The Dakota (pictured below) where John Lennon lived and we stood in the spot where he was shot and died. I was already Macabre

Matt back then and didn't even know it yet.

I only ended up working three hours today because not many people came to purchase Miranda Lambert tickets. It wasn't a pre-sale as I had assumed so people were probably just buying their tickets on the internet. Now Saturday morning I am working a football game...The Temple Owls will be there so I'm guessing Bill Cosby will probably show up in one of his Temple sweatshirts. I found out today that after the football game I get to work a soccer game (the other futbol) too. They are doing a reverse tailgate whatever that is. Whatever it is it means I will get an extra four or five hours of work. It won't be 17 hours like two weeks ago but it will end up being 11 or 12.

Sugar Momma and I watched Brüno this Friday evening. After watching the movie I had my people contact Sacha Baron Cohen (S.B.C.) and he has agreed to portray me in the Matt In The Middle biopic. In his next project he is playing Freddie Mercury in a movie about Queen (the rock super-group). After that look for Matt In The Middle (the movie). I love S.B.C.. I loved him in Borat I loved him in Taladega

Nights and I loved him in Brüno. I know his movies are offensive to many and he does more than push the envelope but that's the point. The things he points out in his films are supposed to make us realize how ridiculous some of the prejudices that exist in our country are. Sugar Momma didn't care for the movie too much saying the movie was "too raw." I am a big fan of sushi which is probably why I liked it. Sugar Momma did like the video at the end of the movie though.

A part of the movie that I liked, in addition to ALL OF IT, was that part of it was filmed in Fort McClellan, Alabama. A little bit of Matt In The Middle trivia....while I was a senior in high school I made the decision to join the United States Army so I could go to college. I was sworn in and was scheduled to go to Fort McClellan, Alabama to become an M.P. (Military Police) right after high school. On Christmas Eve of my senior year of high school I was in an accident and lost a big toe (I've given up trying to find it now) and the U.S. army no longer wanted me so I ended up taking out student loans and going to college anyway and meeting Sugar Momma...Losing my toe turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. I started in Left Field that summer in the American Legion baseball league in Aurora, IL so I am sure I could have served in the military but they are prejudice against nine-toed wonders I guess.

I am thinking about contacting my big toe at the seance and see how his afterlife has been without a foot. I'm guessing the foot was holding him back.

I just saw a report about a Washington D.C. mortgage company called Mortgage Bankers Association. Three years ago they purchased and moved

into a $79,000,000 building. They put down 5% and then defaulted on their loan. They strategically defaulted on their loan. A strategic default is when a borrower walks away from a mortgage that they can actually afford to pay because it makes more financial sense to rent. They moved five blocks away to a new headquarters. Unreal....this company was guilting people who really could not afford their mortgages while they defaulted on their mortgage but could pay if they chose to. A pox on them and everyone else like them! And I mean one of those really bad poxes like small pox not merely chicken pox. Sugar Momma and I both paid our student loans off and we have never been late on our mortgage...maybe that's why we are stuck in the MIDDLE? We need to be smarter and default on our loans. Stupid responsible idiots!

Enjoy the Saturday MIDDLEwest weather. I hope you're getting nice weather wherever you are. After I'm done with the soccer game we're gonna

have a fire Saturday night. I always say it and I always mean it...if you just want to chill by the fire (well unchill I guess) cruise on over to Mattgarita Island at dusk. Sugar Momma would probably welcome some intelligent conversation...when nobody shows she's stuck with me...bless her heart. TTTT....MITM!

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Imagine There's No Blog; It's Easy If You Try

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