Typical MIDDLE Day (pirates and fighter jets)

Is it blog time again already? Holy Moly!

I had too many pepperoncinis last night and I am paying for it this morning. That's one of my main problems in life but it's also one of my best attributes, ironically. When I like something I REALLY like it. I like it all-out until I overdo it or smother it. Last night I liked pepperoncinis. Does that make me obsessive-compulsive or just American or just a male? Not the perreroncini part but the over-doing it part.

We went to the car show yesterday. The whole family went...that was nice. It was very hot so Sugar Momma, Splenda and Sparky went back with Mary to her house to go swimming while I played motorhead or gearhead or whatever head stays at car shows while his family goes swimming. I was visiting with a bunch more old friends as I continued the "Matt Helser Life Flashing Before His Eyes Reunion Tour Before He Dies For a Cure Tour." I saw lots of people that I hadn't seen in a while and the cars were really cool. There was a plane that flew over the corn (it actually made several passes) but it did not dip down and touch the corn (as I predicted). I spoke with the pilot after the fact and he said he got down to about 500 feet and that's about as low as the tower would let him get. The only way he could get down lower than that was if their was a runway because then he could call it a training excercise. It was pretty cool either way...they played the National Anthem and then he came in (close to on cue). The plane was a plane that they use to train U.S. fighter pilots with because it closely resembles the speed and maneuverability of the Russian Mig-21. I think he said it is called a Delphi plane. It's for sale at the Aurora Airport if you're interested.

A lot of my old co-workers were there. I saw quite a few people that I hadn't seen in over a year and some that I hadn't seen for several years.
A few looked at me like they didn't even know who I was and I had to tell them who I was because they had never seen me thin; it was good for my ego and reinforced that I wanted to stay thin. The only thing I ate at the car show was three ears of corn with just pepper - no butter. It was fabulous right from the field. One of my oldest friends that I hadn't seen in a really long time was there. He has made a name for himself in the film industry playing himself in several blockbuster movies. He and I used to own a little boat together. You may have heard of it - - - The Black Pearl. I miss the adventures my friend Jack Sparrow and I had together sailing the high seas but it was time for me to settle down and start a family. I wanted to avoid the curse of The Pearl. We had a lot of good times, he and I, but I was surprised to see him in the MIDDLE of land (so far from sea). I asked him about it and he was evasive which leads me to believe there may be trouble in the cul-de-sac soon. I am expecting to be visited by him one night and maybe that is when my life will no longer pass before me eyes mateys. Shiver me timbers. I will sleep with one eye open and a hand on me flintlock (TWSS). I think I figured out the real reason for Jack Sparrow being there though no one thought it was as clever as I did. I always think I am more clever than I really am. Guess how much corn was at the car show yesterday....A BUCK AN EAR!!!! (A Buccaneer, get it?) Pretty CORNY huh? OMG I'm killing me. Take my Sugar Momma please!

I have been working on this particular blog for about seven hours now off-and-on trying to get the photos on here. I am technologically-challenged in some things (certain computer functions happen to be one of them). Now I know how my parents felt when the VCR was invented. I am pretty tech-savy for the most part but there are some areas I just don't get. Maybe it's as you get closer to death you figure why the heck should I learn new stuff now? I don't even use half of the stuff they told me I needed to know thirty years ago.

Have a nice Sunday and I will put more photos of cars and corn and the plane on future blogs as I figure out what the heck I'm doing. I am going to spend most of the day fortifying the garrison surrounding Devonaire Farms. Hope to blog you tomorrow if not for that scurvy knave Sparrow. Batten down the hatches mateys...we may have rough seas ahead.