Matt in the Middle: I Think I Have Been Cursed For Three Years From Now

Thursday, July 10, 2014

I Think I Have Been Cursed For Three Years From Now

Or in Another Three Years!

The colonoscopy results are in and I am not sure if I have butt cancer or not. I think the letter says I don't have it now ~~butt~~ but I will probably have it in three years. The letter states, "during your colonoscopy, biopsies of polyps were taken and found to be adenomatous polyp, which are entirely benign, yet there were areas in the polyps suggesting an increased risk of colon cancer in the future." The letter goes onto say I should have another colonoscopy in three years. So, A) they use commas just for the Hell of it, B) I may get butt cancer in three years C) they think I know what adenomatous means.. They also say I should "call my office in three years to schedule your follow up exam at that time." Seriously? Maybe I will call them today and set up the appointment for three years from now. That way they can call me back to remind me in three years rather than me trying to remember to call them in three years. Does anybody have a 2017 calendar I can borrow? I just checked and my phone will actually let me enter things on the 2017 calendar. I am sure I will have this same phone in three years and technology will not change within that time. I am not sure where I will be in three years.

Happily, it is Friday night right now for me (actually 06:58 Thursday regular people time). When I get done writing this I will sleep and wake up in the MIDDLE of the night (about 11:00 AM) and do stuff. Then, tomorrow, my hetero life-mate Greg and I are going to the Brewers-Cardinals game in Milwaukee. If you want to learn about Milwaukee listen to this weeks Dirty Laundry Podcast (Load #158). The Cardinals are only two games behind the first place Brewers. If the Cards win tonight and the Brew Crew loses tonight tomorrow, when we are there, may be when the Cards move into a first place tie. Go Phillies!

Wow, I am falling asleep while writing this.

The backyard should be completely fenced-in by the end of the day. Jeff Helser will be very excited when he gets to run around the entire backyard unhindered. He loves to run and play and this will allow him to to both of those things just a bit more. Did I mention that I am sleepy? I am gonna break right now and blog more when I wake-up. I hope I dream about something interesting for your sake.It is 7:36 right now. Good ~~night~~ morning for now...

Now it is 11:13 and the fence is just about finished. Who says sleeping doesn't fix things and solve problems?! I rarely remember my dreams so nothing interesting to pass along there. All I can think about is baseball and the fence getting done. Sleep fixed the fence thing so now if the Cardinals finish the four game sweep of the Pirates and the Cubs beat the Reds I will know that dreams can come true. Not to mention the Brewers being on a slide (pun intended). That pun is kinda funny if you know Bernie Brewer.You don't see me rooting for the Cubs too often but they are harmless. I cannot believe all of the sweeps that may be conncluded in the National League Central today - Reds over Cubs, Cards over Pirates, Phillies over Brewers. Something like that can, and has, change (d) the entire division standings.

I am going to go out and talk to the fence dudes. Thanks a lot for stopping by. I will probably blog again tomorrow morning. We are headed North about 15:15 so if you don't see it by noonish it will be up Saturday (my crappy Monday). Thanks a lot for stopping by; I really appreciate you - REALLY! Have a great Thirsty Thursday. TTTT...MITM (out) GO Cubs, Go Phillies, and most of all GO CARDINALS! TA! I sound like a ten-year-old girl.

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!

Thursday, July 10, 2014

I Think I Have Been Cursed For Three Years From Now

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