Matt in the Middle: I Love That Smell

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

I Love That Smell

Paying bills sure does take a chunk out of the old checking account doesn't it? Maybe I will play the lottery this week so I can help somebody else pay their bills by their winning millions of dollars. Why, if someone wins, isn't that a deductible charitable donation for the losers? The state of Illinois is broke and they take a cut too so, double charitable donation. But, then there is the whole gambling is not deductible thing. However, I am not doing it as gambling because the odds have proven to me over the years there is zero percent chance that I will win - DONATION!

Yesterday I started (it will probably will not last very long) buying ingredients for dinner the night of dinner. Last night it was turkey enchiladas, Spanish rice and guacamole, of course. Next time I am going with shredded chicken enchiladas instead; there was a bit too much moisture with the turkey. Yes, I drained it. I just went to the store for tonight's ingredients and it is angel hair pasta spaghetti (technically that is not spaghetti since spaghetti is the pasta) with red sauce, turkey meatballs and garlic bread. Wednesdays are spaghetti (pasta night) - based-on the old Prince Spaghetti commercials. With tonight's and last night's dinners you probably have surmised that I don't eat red meat. You'd like I would be thinner. Cake and cookies and brownies... aren't red meat. Maybe I should stop eating that stuff again too, huh? I really do like to cook; always have. With both of my parents working when I was a yute I did most of the cooking along with most of the laundry. That is not to say that I cooked laundry for dinner.

I have been watching Eastbound & Down on HBO GO. I started awhile ago but got interrupted and now I am back. Very raunchy but really funny if you have a sick sense of humor like Danny McBride and me. I am toward the end of season two of four. I am learning important things like what ATM really means (Ass To Mouth). I love this kind of rude, lude, nude, 'tude humor. That rude, lude, nude, 'tude thing is all me so, as of now, it has been trademarked/copywritten. Each episodes is only 30 minutes long. Big (and medium) stars keep showing-up: Don Johnson, The guy who played Sol Star on Deadwood (he must own stock in HBO), Matthew McConaughey, Will Ferrell, Deep Roy (the oompa loompa guy), the dude who played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite, Michael Pena, Lily Tomlin, Adam Scott, Sasha Baron Cohen, Gina Gershon, Marilyn Manson, Seth Rogen... lots of people I have seen before and don't know their names. I am now on the last episode of season two.

So happy that my Friday morning begins in seven hours. Happier that my Friday night begins in 13 hours. And, about three-four of those hours will probably be me sleeping.Vacation is less than two weeks away. I am excited to see Splenda again.

I need to start making the red sauce so my hands can smell like garlic all night. I love that smell. Have a great night. Love the weather if you are in the MIDDLEwest. I am really happy that you stopped-in. I will say that I will probably blog tomorrow. I think I may ride my bike over to the Farmer's Market downtown tomorrow for ingredients for tomorrow night's dinner. I would take Jeff with me but he is still a spazz around people. He is still a puppy even though he is big. He is REALLY SMART but a Baby Hughey. I don't know if that's how to spell spazz, by the way. Have a great ~~Friday~~ Hump Night. TTTT (possibly)...MITM (out)

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

I Love That Smell

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