Matt in the Middle: I Wrote a Blog Today, Oh Boy!...

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

I Wrote a Blog Today, Oh Boy!...

Not Today For This Toad!

Hi again. Thanks for coming back unless this is your first time here and then thanks for clicking on this by accident. As long as you're both here you may as well stay and see what some moron in the MIDDLEwest is up to today.

Today has been very productive so far. I worked for the first six hours of the day (midnight to 6:00AM), I fixed one of the upstairs toilets that hadn't been flushing properly, I took the dog to the groomer (and went back and picked her up, of course), I made egg salad (including the boiling and peeling of the eggs, of course), I went to the hardware store to get the stuff to fix the toilet (before I fixed the toilet, of course), I helped a lady load a chair into the back of her truck - she was trying to do it alone outside of the store where I bought the toilet supplies (always the good samaritan), I took a one hour and 17 minute nap while the dog was at the groomer... Those were the main things so far; it's only 1PM so I will get more done. I will definitely take Fabio to basketball and pick him up, I will certainly fix dinner (unless we have egg salad), I will record a podcast with the lovely and talented Cha Cha J. Muggs and I am sure some other things. Now that I have that out of the way, along with my mini todo list I will forge-on. Oh yeah,I also lined-up a guest for nest week's podcast.

I started a Twitter account under "Matt Helser" yesterday. I had forgotten that I has started one under "Matt The Agitator" awhile back so now I have two but it will not allow me to link the two. I guess I will start to Tweet as Matt Helser. If you were one of the "followers" of Matt The Agitator please follow Matt Helser now until I forget that I have that Twitter handle too. I haven't set it up on my mobile devises yet; baby steps. I am already following 15 Tweets: Steve Martin (the comedian not one of my former asshole bosses with the same name), Gary Shandling, Kevin Smith, Albert Brooks, St. Louis Cardinals, Weird Al Yankovic, Ben Stiller, Jim Gaffigan, Cha Cha, Splenda, Norm MacDonald, Barack Obama, my friend Dena, Matt The Agitator and another one my Cha Cha. If you have any suggestions for good Tweets to follow let me know. If you have one I want to follow you - TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH!

The Walking Dead "mid-season finale" was this past Sunday. It was good but the ending / cliff-hanger was exactly what I expected. That means either I am really smart or they are really predictable. In this case it is the latter. For the most part this show does the unpredictable so I will cut them some slack. It's a really great show and I thank Dirty Laundry Podcast Entertainment Director Greg Weindorf in my head every time I watch the show. That is to say I thank him in my head, he is not an imaginary character in my head. He is the one that convinced Cha Cha and I, and Fabio by default, to watch the show. If you have not gotten involved because you didn't want to start mid-stream there is a The Walking Dead marathon on AMC on New Year's Eve / New Year's Day. The next new shows start in February. I have always been a fan of movie and television monsters/Munsters but I have never really cared for zombies but I do like this show.

I am going to try to take a nap before I have to do the basketball run. I will blog again tomorrow but it will probably be later because tomorrow is the day I usually promote the new podcast in the blog and it would be silly to tell you that "the new podcast" is ready when, in fact, it is not ready. There are plenty of previous shows, 88 to be precise, that you can listen to. Consider it a Dirty Laundry Podcast marathon preempting The Walking Dead marathon. Some of the shows are not still available since we have just a certain amount of room but I have all 88 on disc if you need a fix beyond what is still up. Thanks again for being here and for continuing to come back. Have a great night and most of the day tomorrow until I tell you to have a nice day and/or night again then. TTTT...MITM (Sleeping Dead) TA!

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

I Wrote a Blog Today, Oh Boy!...

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