J.Hell or J.Matt or MaLo? Celebrity Marketing is so Tough!

Look who wants to be a Dirty Laundry guest all of a sudden

Na Na NaNaNa Na, Na Na NaNaNa Na Monday, Monday feels like Hell to me. Mondays feel like Hell generally but now I heard Beelzebub is coming here today to the MIDDLEwest because he likes a warmer climate than he has at home. My kids went to Six Flags Great America today. I hope they're smart enough to stay on the water rides and drink lots of water all day. I gave all of the fatherly speeches so we'll see how they do. Cha Cha gave them the sunscreen speech and I gave the rest.

My buddy Judii just posted a tip for all of us on her Facebook page to keep the thermostats set to "fan" rather than on "auto" during this heat. This will keep the air flowing through the vents even when the air is not on to hopefully keep the house cooled enough so the air conditioner won't have to come on as often and/or work as hard. Also, you are all invited to come over here if you don't have air or it gets too hot where you are...I'll get some Moscato. The price of admission is that you'll probably be a guest on the Dirty Laundry Podcast while we drink. Oh, did I mention the new podcast is up now - just now, in fact!

In all this heat I am looking forward to working-out today. I work-out in the basement and it's always cool down there this time of year. Hmmm... I wonder if it's cool down there when I'm not down there? I guess that's something I can never know isn't it? You may say it's cool (but you're a dreamer) if you're down there and I'm not there but we probably have different definitions of cool (and I'm not the only one).

I don't want to preempt the podcast but I will anyway. I am now officially going to investigate the paranormal on August 6th in Rockford, Illinois at the Tinker Swiss Cottage with the Illinois Ghost Hunters as we discussed with guest Willy Adkins on episodes #15 and #16. There are still five openings if you're interested. I am looking for someone I know to go with me. Splenda is thinking about it but we'll see. If I see something paranormal and talk about it on the blog and on the podcast I want someone to be able to corroborate my stories. If I die I want someone to be able to podcast about how I died like Tony Montana or Obi-Wan Kenobi or Maximus Decimus Meridius or William Wallace (even if I die like a wuss - lie for me. I would lie for you).

Tiger Woods' ex-wife Elin Nordegren is dating one of Tiger's ex-mistresses' ex-boyfriends. How do you score that if you're the official who-sleeps-with-who score keeper? I am going to talk to Cha Cha about us getting a divorce and her remarrying Marc Anthony and me marrying Jennifer Lopez since they are in splitsville.  They would be MarCha and we would be Sweet and Lo. Or maybe we'd be MaLo or J.Hel or J.Matt. I think it would be a great move for all of our careers. They would be able to be on our podcast because we would keep doing the podcast.  And we could be on their upcoming show Q-Viva!. They have said that they are going to do the pre-planned show even though they are getting divorced. The show is going to be filmed in South America so it will be nice to be in a cooler climate for awhile. Remember...I am a big fan of the nip-slip...my next future ex-wife, or my next future ex-wife after the current wife becomes my former ex-wife currently, is the queen of that move.

Try to stay warm today. Our podcast website is almost ready. If you want to see a preview (it's still a work in progress) you can click THIS LINK,  Cha Cha will probably kill me for letting that info out already but that'll be J.Lo's loss I guess. Remember it's a work in progress but I think it's great already. If it weren't for the whole getting us on Q-Viva! I would stay with Cha Cha over J.Lo but we have to grab this opportunity I think. TTTT...MITM (out to do some other writing, work-out, do laundry, clean the kitchen again and get ready for next weekend's garage sale - WOO-HOO!) TA!