Matt in the Middle: A Blog for Yous Broads! (and yous dudes too)

Saturday, January 29, 2011

A Blog for Yous Broads! (and yous dudes too)

Happy Saturday. Thank you for the couple of you who said you would read my weekend blogs so here is THE SATURDAY MATT IN THE MIDDLE BLOGSPLAVAGANZA !!!! cue the music...

Courvoisier anyone?

Tonight I am going on a double date. Not me and Sugar Momma and another couple, oh no...me and two broads. That's right I said "two broads." If I am going to date like a Geico caveman I am going to blog like a caveman. It's actually me and Sugar Momma and MADYM. Though I want to sound like I am Leon Phelps it's more like a girlfriends' night out. I just went from being The Ladies Matt to one of the Sex and the City dames in one click of the keyboard. I don't know anything about the "SATC" chicks but I think Charlotte is the best looking so I want to be her. Carrie is married to Matthew Broderick and that would be nice too but if I were married to Matthew Broderick how would we know who people wanted to talk to when they called? But that tomata that plays Miranda is a lesbian and I like the ladies so I should probably be her. We should try to bring "broads" and "dames" back. I think I am just kidding about that but those words are fun to say for some reason. Maybe because I know they are wrong and I feel a little naughty saying them. So, me and these two dames are gonna go out tonight. I think we are going to Outback Steakhouse (that'll be three steak joints in in as many weeks - I sure do love testing this vegetarian thing) and then to Hollywood Palms "a cinema, bar and eatery" (Fox Valley) to watch a movie. I have to do the review of this place at MIDDLE MOVIE REVIEWS and right now I am leaning toward an average to poor review and I want to be fair because I really want to like it because it is a great concept. So, I will get more photos and give them another chance. We'll probably be at the theater about 7:00ish tonight if you want to join the Mattathon.

Stop pooping you wascal wabbit, stop pooping!

I let the dog out this morning and I noticed that our front yard looks like a giant bowl of Alfredo sauce heavily peppered (yes, I am hungry). The sauce is the snow and the pepper is rabbit pellets (but I'm not THAT hungry). You know that I am a bleeding heart, animal loving, liberal-ish type and I think these rabbits know it too. They are testing my vegetarianism more than all of these steak joints I am visiting of late. They are cute and all and they are great for the colored eggs they deliver but the little brown egg seeds or whatever they are leaving have to stop. These chocolate chip droppings all over our yard are multiplying like....you know it's coming (TWSS)... RABBITS!

Be vewy quiet!

I'm giving up on draining my blog notes. I will write whatever pops into my rabbit-pellet-sized brain and when I get stuck for topics I will look back at the stuff I haven't crossed off in my books.

I will blog again tomorrow sometime but Fabio has a basketball tournament in the huge metropolis of Roscoe, Illinois in the morning. It looks like he will be done by 2:00PM or so. My life sure has become about basketball lately. Women's and men's college basketball, high school basketball last night and 8th grade travel basketball all winter long. We are going to go to a Bulls or Bucks game soon too...Basketball Jones baby (man, you can't go wrong with Barry White with the ladies)! So, when Fabio is done with basketball tomorrow we will jump into The General Lee and make our way back to our side of the cornfield while being chased my Enos and Boss Hog. I sure hope Daisy has the vittles whipped up when we get back. Coo Coo Coo. Have a nice Saturday and I will blog you again tomorrow hopefully with a J-Barbs win or two or three. Even our team is named after barbed wire...corn makes the world go 'round...TTTT...MITM (ooot).

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

A Blog for Yous Broads! (and yous dudes too)

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