Matt in the Middle: I'm Ready For My Close-Up Mr. DeMille

Sunday, May 30, 2010

I'm Ready For My Close-Up Mr. DeMille

The big plans yesterday didn't materialize. I ended up working until about 5:00 (with Cook County State's Attorney Anita Alvarez) and when I got home Sugar Momma wasn't feeling well so I just went to my parents' house

and brought home a vehicle full of firewood that my dad had been collecting for us. I came home with a huge load of wood (TWSS). It worked out fine (not the load of wood part) because I got to go over to my bro-migo Dennis' house and watch the NHL team from the Middle, The Chicago Blackhawks, take game one of the Stanley Cup Finals.

When I blogged yesterday that the American Idol winner this season was from the Middlewest (Illinois) my buddy Stacee pointed out that the Biggest Loser is also from Middletown USA (Bartlett, IL) and reminded me that The Man In The Big White House (President Barack Obama) is also a Middler. We're coming for you non-Middlers...first America and then the world. IT'S MIDDLE DOMINATION!!!!

Today I intend to conquer the impossible. Climb the MATTerhorn. I have one of those patio bars that I moved downstairs to my poker room (intended for entertainment purposes only) in the basement a couple of years ago. It was great on the patio but was almost essential for Mattgarita Island. When I moved it down there I vowed that it would never leave Mattgarita Island because it was a pain to get down there. Imagine how much fun it's going to be today when it hops a Steamer for the patio again. Upstream is always much more difficult. Good thing I'm already crabby. The mushroom cloud you see over the cornfield may be me later today. It's my idea so I will suffer my own consequences.

I still haven't seen a movie to review yet but I probably still will see Sex and the City 2 (SATC2). I just found out that there is a new theater

Hollywood Palms near Fox Valley Center (or whatever it's called now). Hollywood Palms is one of those theaters that serve food and drinks while you watch the movie (again from Stacee). Sugar Momma and I went to the one by Yorktown Mall about 10 years ago (I just checked and it was 11 years ago because we saw the Matrix there). This would be a great way to review a movie and a restaurant at the same time and for A MATT IN THE MIDDLE FIRST (fanfare) a theater review...oooooooooooo....aaaaaaaaaaa. The weekend isn't even half over.

Sugar Momma is going to our niece's high school graduation today (she knows the bar is coming up the stairs today). There was some cockamamie story about how there weren't enough tickets for me. I know I am embarrassing and I blog about everything but I can behave sometimes. I have been to weddings and funerals and didn't get thrown out. No, I'm kidding, I know there are only so many seats and they'd rather take their dog's groomer than me...I'm cool with that. (I just made that up, I don't think the dog's groomer is going - Sugar Momma check for a dog groomer). I'm like Uncle Arthur from Bewitched with a skosh less flamboyance.

I am going to do a Memorial Day tribute for tomorrow's blog. I will try to be serious because I have great respect for what Memorial Day stands for and for what the women and men of the military do every day to keep us safe. I have a tendency to skew things toward the humorous but that's how I am. If, tomorrow, it appears that what I write is disrespectful I assure you that it will not be my intention. I am launching a preemptive apology when I don't even have any idea what I am going to blog yet. That seems military and respectful right there doesn't it? Today I changed the top ten list to my top ten favorite war/army/fight films.

Sugar Momma is missing one slipper from each of four pairs of slippers. I know she

thinks I'm Prince Charming and all but this role play is getting out of hand. Instead of finding the woman in my kingdom who the slipper fits I have to find the slipper that fits the woman in my kingdom. I'm more like Gus Gus than the Prince but I'll try before I turn back into the footman or whatever Gus Gus turned back into. The footman looking for a slipper...it's all becoming clearer now.

Is it possible to get your nostrils and ear lobes waxed? I want a Brazilian nose and ear wax.

If you feel like carrying a bar up a flight of stairs, digging/leveling the area for the bar, going to Menard's and getting sand and mulch and spreading those and various other graduation party preparation fun come on over. I will be happy to keep you libated (that's not a word but it should be - Urban Dictionary).

Have a nice Sunday and a fantastic graduation day Emily. Blog you tomorrow with my Memorial Day Tribute to America. Time to make the donuts!

** blackhawks ice crew photo slashed from blackhawks.nhl.com,hollywood palms cinema photo cecil b. de-stolen from hollywoodpalmscinema.com & cinderella picture slipped from us.movies1.yimg.com

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Matt In The Middle Blogssary

47% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 47 % estrogen
53% Rule - Matt in the Middle is 53% testosterone
Agitator (the) - Matt's podcast name (revealed in blog and podcast number 2
B. S. - blog stuff
Big Sexy - Jay Cole's drink of choice (Jack and Coke) - doesn't necessarily have to be Jack
Blogcast - our podcast (Dirty Laundry)
Bloggestion - now in Urban Dictionary meaning something suggested on a blog or taking a few minutes to understand (like suggested or digested)
Blogging Suit - like a NASCAR driver's racing suit with all of the sponsors patches
Blogssary - blog glossary
Blogisodes - episodes of this blog
BWAK - blogged with a kiss
Ca-Ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ka-ching
Cha Cha - revealed to be Sugar Momma's new name on premier podcast
Cheese & Quackers - our resident ducks. she is cheese and he is quackers
Ciaoloha - MITM's new mega-word "discovered" on Columbus Day 2011. It combines "hello," "goodbye," "love," "podcast" and "blog" into one happy little package!
Copyright - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
Dirty Laundry - our podcast/blogcast launched 4/1/11
Discomboobulated - a word Bret Michaels used on Celebrity Apprentice when he meant discombobulated though discomboobulated is an actual word
Fabio - the name my son preferred being called on the blog (the artist formerly known as Sparky)
Judii - the sister I never had but wish I did (my unofficial sister)
Ka-ching - the sound of the cash register as I try to gain sponsors that will never actually happen (I'm not really that delusional) - same as ca-ching
Kajunkles - used for people who don't know how to run correctly. Body parts moving against one another rather than together for the common goal of running (could be a noun, proper noun or a verb). Trying to accomplish something against seemingly impossible odds.
The Lost Sock - Cha Cha's brother (and my brother-in-law). One of the best people I have known in my life.
MADYM - One of my very good friends - Mary. She was given this name based on an acronym of her name by one of my other very good friends Stacee. Together they came up with the MITM theme song idea. She was also our maid of honor or matron of honor (I don't know the difference).
Middle - anything average or center (Middle of the country, Middle of life, average intelligence, a regular joe (or joan)...)
MITM - Matt In The Middle
Ms. Peabody - Maisy (our dog) because of Mr. Peabody
Nature Girl - Another very good friend- Sue. Given this name because of being a combination of Diane Fossey, Caroline Ingalls and Danielle Boone (lady Daniel)
Patent / Patent Pending - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
PFT - Plasma Fun Time - donating plasma - twice a week.
Roz - my pink/fuchsia i-pod nano. Named for Roz Kelly who played Pinky Tuscadero on tv's Happy Days. She goes with me everywhere to play my life's soundtrack and measure my steps with her pedometer.
Sparky - my son's blog pseudonym (see also Fabio)
Splenda - my daughter's blog pseudonym
Sponsorship Patch - when I mention a known product to try to get sponsorships and want to put a patch on my blogging suit
Stacee - a friend from high school that is a great inspiration to me continuously. The Cosmos keep bringing us back together electronically (MySpace, Facebook, Blog...) even though we haven't "seen" each other for nearly thirty years.
Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheels theme song of MITM. Idea suggested by MADY and Stacee
Sugar Momma - my wife, Jill
Trademark - something that I think is clever and original that needs to be protected as original intellectual material (like it would really hold up in court)
TTTT - Ta Ta 'Til Tomorrow
TWSS - that's what she said
WTF - why the face?

Potato Soup

Ingredients Needed:
1 - 32 oz. box Vegetarian Vegetable Broth (I used Swanson's)
can substitute with chicken broth if you wish
1 - package of Country Gravy Mix (I used McCormick's)
okay to use sausage gravy mix if you wish
1 - 26 oz. package of frozen hash browns

Cook hash browns in a large pot. Cook potatoes until slightly browned stirring often so as not to burn the hash browns. While the hash browns are cooking prepare the country gravy mix as directed on package. Once the potatoes are done to your liking slowly pour the broth into the pot with the potatoes and reduce heat and simmer until hot. After the potatoes and broth are hot add the gravy mix and continue to simmer until thickened. Serve and eat.

** special note...I like it extra spicy so I add an extra package of county gravy mix to the finished mixture and whisk and heat.

Just like I always say - add whatever you want (peas, onions...) and make it your own. And, as always, ENJOY!

Sangria Wine Recipe (reposted from 4/22/10)

I also made Sangria yesterday to honor Earth's goodness (truthfully so I could get lit). I am not a wine drinker because most wines are too dry in my opinion and I am not a big fan of cotton-mouth. I liked the movie "Sideways" though so I want to like wine. I was watching Planet Green a couple of days ago while I was cleaning the kitchen and folding laundry like a real man and Emeril Lagasse was making paella on "Emeril Green". He also threw in, as an after-thought, Sangria so I hit the record button. Well he did it very fast and didn't say measurements or anything but he gave the basics so I came up with my own recipe and I think it turned out well though I made A LOT! Sugar Momma says I am a man of excess - isn't that what "man" means? Anyway, here's my Sangria recipe but I suggest you might want to cut the volume down unless you are having a small country over for dinner:

ingredients (I would suggest cutting the liquids in half)

3 liters of inexpensive Shiraz (Frontera Mendoza 2009)
1 cup of Grand Marnier
1 cup of brandy
1 cup of lime juice
3 limes
3 lemons
2 granny smith apples
2 large oranges
12 oz. sugar
33.8 oz sparkling water (Pellegrino)
64 oz. orange juice
ice

In a HUGE bowl slice the fruit and cover with sugar, mix. Add Shiraz and stir. Add ice to hold the fruit under while it drowns in the wine. Add Grand Marnier and brandy and stir. Add lime juice, orange juice and sparkling water and stir. Let sit for awhile so the tastes blend. Taste and add ingredients to taste (I added a little more lime juice and sugar). Find the biggest vessel you own for storage (mine is a pot like they used in those headhunter movies to cook people which is now sitting on our stove). Sweet and fruity just like me. Share with your friends/neighbors and your boss at review time.

Caprese Paninis

Ingredients you will need:

good loaf of bread (I used Italian bread)
mozzarella cheese
pesto sauce (I used jarred Classico brand - found by pastas)
fresh basil leaves
extra virgin olive oil
tomatoes

And here we go:
slice the bread and brush extra virgin olive oil on both sides of each slice. Clean and separate basil leaves. Slice tomatoes. Grate Cheese. Lightly grill one side of each slice of bread. Flip the bread when lightly toasted. After flipping the bread spread pesto on the toasted side and top with shredded cheese while the other side toasts. Once the second side is toasted and the cheese is starting to melt remove it from the

grill and top with two slices of tomato side-by-side and put a basil leaf on each tomato slice. Remove another slice of the toast with the pesto and cheese mixture from the grill and place it cheese/pesto side down on top of the tomato and basil'd toast to form a sandwich. (They could just as easily be done in a frying pan or on a George Foreman Grill...)

Done! Very simple and delicious!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

I'm Ready For My Close-Up Mr. DeMille

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