The Blog of Excuses!

I haven't blogged in almost a week. I don't know if I didn't have time or I wasn't inspired or what but here I am again. It was actually a little of both - lack of inspiration and little time. Additionally, we did not record the Dirty Laundry Podcast last night either. We will record it later today but I am stuck on "a bit" that I am working on so for some reason I am in a creative block cycle right now. I am blogging anyway in hopes that maybe by blogging blandly I will get rid of the bad juju and open the creativity pores once again. Also, I have been feeling kind of sick ever since getting back from our weekend in St. Louis. Additionally: I ran out of creative gas, my mind had a flat tire, I didn't have enough inspirational cab fare, my laptop didn't come back from the cleaners, an old friend came in from out of town, someone stole my notes, there was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locusts, IT WASN'T MY FAULT I SWEAR TO BLOG!!!!!!!

I am watching my DVR'd Curb Your Enthusiasm and they just has a commercial (I saw it as fast forwarding through it) for the Dairy Queen Blizzard. Was that well planned or just coincidence since we are just now cleaning up from the worst snow we have had this year so far in the MIDDLEwest. I think it was probably just a coincidence. Who thinks about DQ this time of year?

I just got back from the store. I love going to the store in the MIDDLE of the night. There are few people there (even less today with the storm still being new to most) and you can get in and get out. I always love a little of the old in-out-in-out. I also like driving in the snow. Why have a 4Runner in the MIDDLE of the country if you don't get to 4-wheel every now and again? It's great for the boat and for the snow. It would also be great for mud and sand but seldom do I run into those around these here parts. With the storm yesterday and last night I have a sneaking suspicion that my co-workers (the ones who aren't unlucky enough to get Tuesday and Wednesday as their weekends) had yesterday off. If that is the case and they got off with pay do I get an extra vacation day or is it just another F-U that comes with having Tuesday and Wednesday as my weekend? I have a couple of people beneath me in seniority now and it is my hope that eventually I will get a better weekend. It's been a year of this crappy weekend and I am tired of being Humpday Helser (patent/trademark/copyright pending - though who else would want that?). Maybe it's more like Humpweekend Helser? I am so insulted that my own blog has to put the red squiggly under my last name. I know I can now add it to the known words but I am already insulted that I have to. (with that I ended a sentence with a preposition in protest).

Fabio is now on the high school tennis team. He walks around the house during all of his waking hours with his racket and a tennis ball. He bounces it constantly. Between his legs, behind his back... I am happy he is excited. I hope this enthusiasm carries throughout the season when it begins. He has never played tennis before but he is very athletic. He has been a baseball player, a football player for a short time and a basketball player and now a tennis player. He is tall and thin so I think he will do well. He has great reflexes and is fast and quick so he'll do well. He was a really good pitcher in baseball but he did not like the responsibility of being the key player in the game. Maybe a more individual sport will interest him even more. More on this later I am sure.

Fabio & Bo know multi-sports!

I just found out that everybody did work yesterday; the duties just changed because of the weather. Drat!

I have to get a few things done so I will end here. We will do the podcast today/tonight no MATTer what. I may just have to cancel the thing I was working on until next week. The show will be good and we will not air anything that does not live up to our lowered expectations for the show. Thanks for being here. I will blog again tomorrow. Have a great day and enjoy the snow if you're in such a climate. If not, enjoy whatever you have where you are. TTTT...MITM (off, slightly) TA!

Who Wants to Join Fantasy Pope League?

I don't really have much to blog about but that has never stopped me before. I wrote TTTT (Ta Ta Til Tomorrow) yesterday and today is T so I have to blog. I edited and uploaded Dirty Laundry Podcast today, I cleaned the kitchen, made Fabio's lunch for school, drove him to school, I am on my third load of laundry and I have to go to work in a few hours. I feel like I am working on a cold. We were in St. Louis over the weekend and Splenda was really sick and then Fabio was home yesterday with a fever and I have been really run-down and stuffed-up all complimented with a headache. I hope I don't get too sick because I go to work sick. I don't know why I work sick but I know how it is when someone else calls in sick and I am too empathetic. I have always worried about others more than myself (more time than not).

Our town has been very excited that we are getting an Olive Garden. I know that doesn't sound exciting to some of you city slickers but us MIDDLE-of-the-cornfielders we get excited over stupid stuff. Unlimited soup and salad with bread-sticks for $6.25? That's pretty exciting. If you live in my neck of the cornfield this is where you may want to sit down - Olive Garden just announced that they have backed-out of coming to our nape of the neck. They were going to open 36 new restaurants in 2013 and now are only going to open 15 and we apparently did not make the top 15. Oh well, we still have our 75 pizza places. One thing about living in a college town is there is never want for pizza.

Looks More Like Captain Ironmerica

Iron Man 3 is starting promos. I guess it's coming out pretty soon. I didn't even know they were making an Iron Man 3. I have loved the Iron Man movies but I will probably wait for two weeks after it opens and then get in at a Red Box on DVD. Nah, I will probably see it at the theater too. Most likely in I-MAX.

I guess the Pope is done. That really does not impact me in anyway. Even though the Pope announced he was leaving nearly a month ago I bet it takes the Cardinals about a month to decide on his replacement. I bet there is betting going on about the Pope in Las Vegas. I just checked and yes, there is. The odds-on favorite is Marc Cardinal Ouellet of Canada. He is going off at 7:2 from a couple of sports books and at 3:1 at many others. Peter Turkson of Ghana is at 4:1. Archbishop Anthony Scola (Milan) is at 5:1. The best odds for an American becoming Pope is Timothy Dolan from New York who is anywhere from 33:1 to 40:1. I think I may start a Fantasy Pope League.

I just saw on MSN a list of America's top ten miserable cities and three of them are in Illinois. Number three is Rockford, Illinois (about 35 minutes away from us to the NW). Number four is Chicago, Illinois (about 60 minutes to our East) and number nine is Lake Country, Illinois (about 60 minutes to our NE). So we are surrounded by three of the most miserable places to live in the country - no wonder Olive Garden doesn't want to come here. I don't know why they do lists like these. What good comes from these types of things?

I am done for today. Judge Judy is demanding all of my attention. Thanks for stopping-in. I hope you have a great night. I would but I have other plans. TTTT (probably)...MITM (out to call my bookie to drop a double saw buck on Scola - listen to Dirty Laundry Podcast to find out why I think an Italian is gonna be Pope; a sign from a divine power seems to point to Italy ). Arrivederci!

Shaun Cassidy and The Pope (coming Soon)

Breaking Away was a television show too?

It's 3AM and I am awake watching a biography about Shaun Cassidy on The Biography Channel (Bio) while getting ready to go out and shovel the driveway. We had no place to go so we just hung out in the house and now that the snow seems to be over I will go tackle the driveway. Plus, living in a sac (cul-de-sac), I always get aggravated after I am done and the plow comes and buries the drive-way in again. Now I can do it all at once sans the added aggravation. I always liked Shaun Cassidy for some reason. I absolutely loved The Partridge Family so I think me liking David Cassidy and Shirley Jones (his 1/2 brother and mother) made it make sense that I would like him I suppose. Shaun seemed very nice and The Hardy Boys was okay to watch.

We normally record Dirty Laundry Podcast Tuesday nights but we did not record it last night. I think Cha Cha and I were a little wiped-out from our weekend trip to St. Louis so we will probably record it today/tonight sometime. We will probably talk a lot about our trip to St. Louis so I will leave it alone here.

I didn't remember the movie Breaking Away was made into a television series starring Shaun Cassidy (as well as Jackie Earle Haley). Maybe because it came out while I was a senior in high school and it only lasted eight episodes. I loved the film and maybe if I had watched the show it would have lasted longer than eight episodes; I have that kind of media power. Who knew Shaun Cassidy discovered Heath Ledger? The biography is over and I am dressed in my snow warrior gear so I will break here and be back in probably an hour for as much snow as we got. If you never see this I had a heart attack and you are now reading this after someone found it later after I had predicted my own demise. (insert ghostly sounds here)

Here's an intermission to entertain you while I am gone (hopefully not permanently)

It is now 5:30 and I am done with the driveway and as far as I know I did not have a heart attack.Thank goodness for Dirty Laundry Podcast for keeping me company.The snow (I should actually call it ice - more of a big, solid, snow cone really) at the end of the driveway. The plow had decided to make the snow in our driveway about four feet high. Those are never any of the kinds of things you usually think of when choosing a lot to have your house built on. My back is probably gonna hurt later but it's great to already have some exercise and have worked-up a sweat this early in the day.

Can you believe it has been a year since Trayvon Martin was shot to death in Florida? The young man armed with only a package of Skittles has probably been the greatest impact on the gun controversy in the U.S.and A.. Trayvon's parents will never get over this tremendous loss but I wonder how being reminded of their son's death every year makes it better or worse.

Can you tell that I watched Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefits Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan yesterday?  (U.S.and A, U.S. and A.).

The Pope is almost done. I am so tired of this and I know it has only started. Now we have to go through the days and days of drama waiting for smoke to come out of a chimney the correct color. The Cardinals have had plenty of time to consider a replacement but I bet dollars to donuts it doesn't go as quickly as it should. The Catholic Church, just like any big business, is loving the extra free press they are getting form this whole ordeal. Tomorrow, starting at about 9:30 MIDDLEtime, they are gonna show the Pope leaving town. I hope they throw candy; that's always my favorite part of a parade. Will there be those huge Underdog and Big Bird balloons? I am not Catholic but I have been to many, many Catholic church services (actually our wedding was Catholic) and they make a huge deal about everything. I guess that is kinda nice but I feel that it is so they can try to justify all of the opulence and money. Hopefully the lightning from the sky will miss me and I will survive another day after this last paragraph.

I have to start thinking about getting Fabio up for school and getting some show-prep done. Yes, believe it or not, we do prep some for the show. Thank you for stopping-in and setting a spell. Y'all have a great day and come back now, hear? TTTT...MITM (a bit off) TA!

Hey Mr. Wadsworth - Get Outta My Head!

Don't tell me who won at the Oscars. No, I didn't record it to watch it later - I don't really care. I love movies and most forms of entertainment (television, music, literature...) but I am not in it for the celebrities.Celebrities used to be a big part of it for me but I have realized how dumb that really is. Why do we hold celebrities in such high regard? Actors used to be considered to be bourgeois. I suppose then came the birth of the talent agent trying to be a barnacle on their heels. That may have been one of the greatest turning lemons into lemonade of all time. When we are kids most of our free-time is spent "playing pretend" and then some of us grow up and get paid to play pretend? Maybe they should be held in high-regard; that's pretty sweet. I am pretty sure I am just turning onto an old crotchety man like the one who used to yell at us for "playing pretend" in his yard. The one I remember the most was Mr. Wadsworth. He was our "hey you kids, get out of my yard guy." Maybe he didn't like Native Americans or Robbers (I should have been a Cop or a Cowboy maybe). How does that happen? How do I stop the transformation into Mr. Wadsworth? I wonder if Mr. Wadsworth ever wondered how he could stop the morphing when he realized it was happening to him? Do other people realize it is happening when it happens?

I just read that 19 people from the ages of 13 - 18 were charged for mob action at Ford City Mall in Chicago yesterday. Additionally, one teenager was arrested for battery and another charged with criminal trespassing. I wouldn't even have noticed the story except for the fact that they were at the mall for an autograph signing by a group called Mindless Behavior. What did the mall expect when they hired a group called Mindless Behavior to sign autographs? I have never heard about this group until now and maybe this a publicity stunt and this kind of thing follows them around? They tricked at least one Mr. Wadsworth into talking about "these darned kids these days" in his blog.

Google says this is Mindless Behavior

Have I mentioned that I hate the teenage years when I am on the receiving end of it? I honestly don't think I dished-out what I am receiving so I really don't think this is pay-back. My brother was a handful so maybe I am receiving some of his karma because he doesn't have kids. I was no angel and I did plenty but nothing that my parents really know about. Maybe I am just nosier than my parents were. Parenting has changed a lot in the last 40 years I guess. I did get the belt a lot as a kid but that was mainly for fighting with my brother.  Can you imagine even taking a belt to your kids? I cannot. Maybe when my kids have kids they will say, "can you imagine not using a belt on our kids?" No, I doubt that will happen. I surely hope not.

It's back to work tonight but it is my Friday already. It's nice to work one day, get three off, work one and then get another two off. I could get used to that but once I ran out of vacation days I don't think I would be so happy with it. I have a feeling that this may have been our last family vacation for awhile. Maybe when the kids have the grandchildren we can all meet someplace. Cha Cha will probably do something for our 25th anniversary later this year.

I am bumming myself out today. I think I need to stop. Mondays are Mondays even when they are your Friday it seems. I have a lot of hustling to do make sure I can make it to work tonight but I have 100% faith. Have a great day and thanks a lot for being here. I will try to include some photos on here of our trip here tomorrow and later today on my Facebook page. I have a good idea I know a lot of things we will be talking about on tomorrow's Dirty Laundry Podcast. It's not too late you get your listener mail in. TTTT...MITM (just plain out) TA!

I Mistakenly Watched the News (OOPS)!

Our hotel (just staying here Paris Hilton owns it)

It's early Saturday morning (4AM) and I am wide awake. I always would be wide awake at this time because generally I am usually at work but today I am out of town with my family. Both parents and both kids. We haven't all been together since Christmas so this is really nice. Last night we had dinner at Hard Rock Cafe and that really isn't a place to go to talk much; very loud. It is right next to our hotel so it was convenient. I am starting to sound my age. Our hotel room (a suite) is almost as big as our home. It must be off-season because we are near a lot of really cool things and are right downtown and it isn't that expensive.

I am not sure what we are doing today but there are a lot of really great choices on the table. I really don't care what we do I just love to do stuff and I know I have mentioned it here before but, I love hotels. I used to travel quite a bit and I loved them then too. I love having someone making my room look brand new while I am out doing stuff. I love that I can order movies on the television that are still in the theaters. I love that we have an entire shopping mall downstairs, seriously a real shopping mall. I don't know why I love that one but it seems cool to me. These are probably quite a few of the same reasons that I love Las Vegas. I do hate that I am always awake about four or five hours before everybody else. That is my issue not theirs'. I slept like a rock but a rock that only sleeps for four hours. Ate at Hard Rock and slept like a rock - is there a theme beginning here?

I am really getting worried about all of the anguish over guns in America. That's a problem with staying at a hotel and being an early riser. I would go out and check things out down in the mall or outside but it's too early and all there is to do is blog and watch television. When I am done here maybe I will go down and window shop at the mall; nothing is open but I have a Golden Ticket to Willie Wonka's Shopping Mall. I wonder what time Einstein's Brothers Bagels opens down there? I could go for a spot of tea. Anyway, I am watching a news show (usually a mistake) called RT. The best that I can figure RT stands for Russian Television. I don't know much about RT and it may actually be the Fox News of Russia but it is interesting to hear what other parts of the world think about our lunacy.  It's surprising to hear members of British Parliament ripping the U.S. government and calling us a "two party dictatorship." That is a fair description I am afraid.

The new look of models in the United Kingdom

The report now is about how Iceland may be the first country to outlaw internet pornography. Just like the people in this country are saying "once they take our guns what is next?" the people of Iceland are saying "once you take away our on-line porn what is the next thing you will take away from our freedom of speech (internet)?" This whole thing is a slippery slope. You know me, always trying to stay in the MIDDLE of most issues until I feel I have heard enough from both sides but, since my background educationally and professionally off-and-on throughout the years has been in media, I feel a bit more strongly on freedom of speech (mainly because I am more educated on this topic than I am on most others). Taking away this freedom, once given, is always gonna have huge ramifications.

I really like this news show. They talk about countries I rarely hear about on our American news shows: Iceland, France, Syria, Germany, Israel, UK (1/4 of all women there are now obese). I am sure they have their agenda but I am well aware of the American media agenda and I am tired of it. I sense maybe there is propaganda going on here too but I am not sure if it is geared toward me but maybe that's how it begins? Bottom line for all mainstream media, I am certain. is money.

Fashion advertising in the UK is changing now to make their models look like real people (fat and ugly). Heavy people and ugly people are now becoming the new models across the pond. I predict this trend coming over here very soon. Maybe I should start a plus-size/ugly people modelling agency. Do most ugly people know that they're ugly? I don't. Actually maybe I do since I just said I didn't know I am ugly. I know I'm fat but I am fairly certain I could be my own poster-child for my business (fat and ugly). Matt and Ugly's Modelling Agency? I think I like that.

They spelled my name wrong!

I am gonna grab a shower and head down to my own personal shopping mall and just walk around. Never hurts to get an early morning walk in and how AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) of me is it to walk around a mall before they are open? This is the year I get to join the AARP. I am pretty sure I am going to join. I wonder how much of a price break I would have gotten on this hotel as a card-carrying geriatric? Even though few Americans get to retire anymore I may as well at least get some kind of benefit for being screwed by my country for the past 35 years since entering the American dream work-force. When they said "The American Dream" I didn't realize it was actually "America's Dream." It was the country's dream that we all work and give them most of our money through all of the various taxes and programs that we had to fund while they convinced us that socialism and communism were evil. I am sure our country wouldn't lie to us about things like that. 

Have a great day. Thanks for stopping by. I am sorry that the blog turned a little on the darker side toward the end - this is why I don't usually watch news programs. I am not mature enough to handle them. And to think I worked in that business for awhile. If you haven't listened yet check out our 100th episode of Dirty Laundry Podcast. TTTT (probably tomorrow while I am up hours before everybody else again)...MITM (out for my early morning mall walk). TA!

Is Your Couch Available (shrink needed)

I have what you might call an obsessive personality. Some people call what they have drive but I prefer to call mine obsession. They are the same thing just one sounds more acceptable than the other but we all know that they are the same thing. I wish I could channel it into something worthwhile but it has a screwed-up mind of it's own. I am currently obsessed with taking Dirty Laundry Podcast to the next step. I am not sure what the next step is though. Podcasting is a fairly new medium so there is not a whole bunch of history to follow. Do I start my own network? Most of the, so called, networks I find are just a bunch of famous friends who have circled their wagons together. I have tried to reach-out to some of these people but I am pretty much a nobody to them. I guess I am sort of a pioneer in podcasting. It's not really brand new; it's maybe a toddler but I am going to have to think of myself as a pioneer to move forward with this thing. There is nothing wrong with the way we do the show now but I imagine it's just human nature to want more and grow. I think we have a podcast that can turn goat-piss into gasoline and everyone should get onboard.

I just took a break and sent a message to a "friend" who started a large podcasting network awhile back. It is a very large podcasting network in Hollywood. I have a character flaw that does not allow me to ask people for help very often so this is a huge deal for me. I have no idea what the character issue is about but if I cannot figure things out I usually think that it is something that doesn't need to be done. I am a person who will always help people, even perfect strangers, when they ask yet I won't ask anyone. I have to really need something done badly and have no place else to turn to ask somebody for something. In turn, I almost always help people if they ask for anything. I really should see somebody about this deal. Maybe I just feel I am not worthy. I am pretty much an old dog now so I may as well just stick with my old tricks at this point. See, I won't even ask anybody for help with a mental issue - that explains a lot.

I have not watched one single awards show or all-star game in about three years and I plan to continue my boycott of these ridiculous displays ever again. Maybe if Ricky Gervais hosts an awards show again I will consider watching. He called a spade a spade and poked fun of the festivities and the participants and has pretty much been banned ever since.

There are talks of getting rid of the penny. I am speaking of the United States coin worth one cent when I say "penny" for anybody who doesn't remember these little brown pieces of metal. Now, after several years, these things will finally be worth something. I remember when we used them to buy gumballs from machines but that hasn't been for quite awhile now. Now will they put little dishes next to cash registers for nickels? Most of us seldom even use cash anymore but what will they do without pennies? They will have to round anything we purchase to the nearest five cents. So, will sales tax have to be adjusted? Will prices of things have to be changed so when we purchase things the total will have come out to something that is multiplied by five?

I am out of things to blog about and it's just about 2AM so I think I should try to get a couple of hours of shut-eye. I hope you have a great day. I am going to have a good one because after I work my Monday (your Thursday) I have three days off. Pending weekends and days-off always changes outlooks on things don't you thin? Thanks a lot for stopping by and for listening to the podcast before we get huge; I really appreciate you, TTTT (probably)...MITM (out to just lie here trying to sleep). TA!

No News Really IS Good News

Well, load number 100 of Dirty Laundry Podcast is finally in the can. I just got out of the studio. I had been in there for about eight hours total. It doesn't seem like I am in there that long until I am done. I really enjoy doing the show and the editing or I wouldn't do it. The same for the blog that turns 801 today but doesn't take nearly as long to produce. I think I am gonna take a nap when I am done writing this since I am off today and I am pretty tired (good reasons, huh?). My left eye has been twitching a lot lately and I am not sure if I am tired (always) or I have eye strain or I am gonna have a stroke or something. No MATTer which - I am ready.

I am heading to St. Louis in a few days and I am excited. I really like St. Louis even though I recently learned that it is currently the number one violent city in America. It is usually third behind Flint and Detroit, Michigan but it is number one right now. I wish it were baseball season so we could catch a Cardinals' game but maybe The Blues will be in town. I haven't been up in The Arch for awhile so maybe I'll have to check that out again. Weird, we played a blues song on the podcast this week. The St. Louis Blues are named after the music genre in case you didn't know. They were originally the Memphis Blues but they moved. Blues in St. Louis still makes sense though not quite as much.

So, are The Academy Awards the next "we love ourselves fest?" I think the last one was the NBA All-star game. Pretty soon spring will be here and people will worry about doing their jobs rather than reminding us how great they are for doing jobs most of us would lobe to be able to do. It sure doesn't feel like spring will be here soon since we have been having the worst part of winter so far. They have always said that February is the coldest month of the year in the MIDDLEwest and it seems "they" night be correct.

I have not watched much news the last 36 hours so I am not really sure what is going on in the world. I am usually happier when I don't know what the media wants me to know. Rarely are good things reported so I don't listen to the news too often. I prefer entertainment that makes me happy rather than the stuff meant to scare me and make me sad and angry.

I think I am going to end and take that nap I have been thinking about. Maybe my eye will stop twitching when I wake up. Thanks for spending a few minutes here today. Sorry it isn't more but I really need to sleep. Have a great rest of your day and night. I will blog again in the morning with a bit more substance most likely.  TTTT...MITM (zzzzzzzzzzzz)