More Cowbell - I Mean Suction

They will probably change this to "Orange Squiggles"

I have a sneaking suspicion that Lean Cuisine and Smart Ones meals have some kind of corporate connection yet continue to act like competitors. Smart Ones Tuna Noodle Gratin is now Tuna Noodle Casserole and Lean Cuisine Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo is now Chicken Fettuccine. It appears that they both dropped words (gratin and Alfredo) to sound more healthy. They are both the same products as they were before and the nutritional information is the same on both as it previously was. It could be that one changed and the other followed suit for marketing reasons but it sure seems suspicious that they both changed at the same time. Maybe there was a government regulation that would have hurt them had they not changed? I bet one person or conglomerate owns both companies and that person/corporation is probably running for President of the United States of America. I base that on nothing other than my suspicious nature. I am the Fox Mulder of bloggers.

I may be headed full-circle after all (being born and dying in the same town). I am as sick as a dog this morning. I am not sure where that expression comes from since I don't see dogs sick too often. Over the last week or so I have had some popping in my ears; kind of like congestion but I didn't think much about it. My nose has been stuffed-up off and on but I wrote that off to seasonal allergies My throat began hurting a bit after my dentist appointment but I figured that was because the dentist told me not to swallow when they were numbing my gums and then blowing Niagara Fall into my mouth. Maybe if Suction Boy could keep up with the wet/dry vac and stop flirting with the dentist there wouldn't be so much water to swallow. Have you ever felt like you were drowning and not swallowed? Anyway, it should have been pretty obvious that, if I added all of these things up, I might of guessed that I was getting sick. So now I feel like crap. I started the Airbourne last night and I drank some ZzzQuil so we will see how that works. I am lying in bed blogging now (calm down - remember I am sick). We were out for dinner with my parents last night when these symptoms all came together - Over Me! Tonight we are going to the next door neighbors for a cook-out and it is my goal to be well enough to go. It is only next door so I think I will be able to manage. I just NEED to be 100% well by Wednesday afternoon. I have flown with head congestion before and there are few things worse when that cabin pressurizes. I am going no MATTer what but I would prefer if my head didn't explode - it would be a better trip with a head along for the ride no MATTer how on-the-fritz he is.

I am going to quit now and take some more ZzzQuil and try to sleep. I will probably turn a comedy on the television because, supposedly, laughter is the best medicine.

I hope you have a great weekend and thank you, so much, for stopping by and giving me someone to whine to. I am a terrible whiner when I am sick (when I am not sick too a lot of the time). TTTMonday...MITM (out) TA!

I Wonder if My Teeth Talk to One Another?

I can sure tell that I grew-up in the age of Disney films. When I am doing yard, work and let's say I am watering the flowers, I can almost hear the other flowers and plants say things like, "hey, me next" or "what about us over here?" Yes, I realize they are not saying anything even though I am certifiably (at least temporarily) off my coconut but I feel like all things have an energy and everything is alive. Not in the same way that we are alive but we are all here for reasons. Maybe that is just how I keep myself entertained or perhaps I am a pantheist like the native Americans were/are. That is probably how telekinesis works; the person with that ability is drawing on the energy from the thing that they are moving. Maybe that is all poppycock but it keeps me entertained in my vast wasteland of a mind .

 As George Washington is my witness I may be done with dentists forever! 

When I went to the dentist last week they only did an examination to determine what I needed done; I think that is code for "let's see what we can get his insurance to pay for."  Then, when I got there  yesterday the dentist blindsided me.  I ended-up having a deep cleaning and four cavities filled. after the cleaning they asked if I wanted to get the fillings done or come back. I told her that if I didn't get them today I wouldn't get them done so they squeezed me in $$$$. I didn't even know I had four more cavities. Why didn't they do them when they did that other one last week? After the appointment I wasn't supposed to have anything spicy and was supposed to only have soft food so I had a can of Hormel Turkey Chili, which I consider soft, and I only put eight shakes of Tabasco in it so, since they used the relative terms "soft" and "spicy" I followed the rules. I usually do twice as much of the hot sauce and the chili is soft. Plus, for the most part, I swallowed it without chewing it because my lips and cheeks were still very numb and I couldn't really chew very well anyway. The little I did chew I only used my two front teeth like a chipmunk. Good thing I got those two front teeth for Christmas last year - it's all I wanted. I forgot, I also chopped up some red onion and put that in the chili. Again, I only chewed those with my front teeth. When I was done with the appointment I felt like Dudley Moore in the movie 10 after he had six cavities filled. I am supposed to go for a follow-up in three months but I think I may be done with dentists. Plus, I may be living in Europe and  will use my new socialized medicine. Maybe I will see if George Washington's wooden teeth are for sale. That was a myth, by the way. His teeth were not wooden teeth. His false teeth were actually made of: hippopotamus ivory. bone, brass screws, lead, gold metal wire and other human teeth. I remember seeing them on one of our vacations. I cannot imagine the pain back in those days without the numbing cream I got yesterday. And we whine when we can't get good WiFi.

It looks like money from the game of LIFE!

I am pretty much packed for our trip. I know I will forget something or need something else but I need to learn how to use English Pounds and French Francs and Deutsch Marks and Euros and whatever they use in Luxembourg and The Czech Republic so this will be a great opportunity. Following Cha Cha's advise, since she is a lot smarter than I am, I have packed mainly dark clothes (blacks, browns, blues...) I have a few colorful things but not much. When in Europe dress as the Europeans I guess. I cannot believe that I packed four pairs of shoes. Don't tell anyone but most of my underwear are brighter colors - this bird has to fly a little; it's the rebel in me.

Tonight we are going out to dinner with my parents. That way, if we die in a plane crash or Somali Pirates overtake our boat (do you suppose there are pirates on the Rhine River?) or decide to stay there they got to see us one last time. Both kids have their passports so they can come join us when we get settled. My mom and dad are welcome too. I think it would be nice for our family's future to have decent healthcare at a fair price.

I have to end now. I have to get some new filters for the furnace/air conditioner so it is good for the occupants of our home while we are gone. I also have to get bird seed so it can be still here when we get back instead of fed to the birds every day like it is when I am here. I have a few other things I have to get too. I think I AM going to get a selfie stick the more I think about it. That won't look too touristy/American, right? We won't be holding-up lines and blocking other people when we take photos though. Thank you for coming by. I hope you enjoy your day and night. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

All I Need is this Thermos and this Blog!

I turned Pandora on my phone this morning to blog to some music. I went to the Jimmy Buffett station because it looks like a Buffett day outside and this song was the first thing that came on. I used to play that song at the beginning of the blog quite often. Incidentally, my favorite Pandora station (if they are called stations) is Fun Radio. I love the band Fun and the this station seems to play many, many bands and songs I like. I have also found many other artists, through this station (a year or so ago), that I like: Mumford and Sons, Florence and the Machine... I can never speak highly-enough about Pandora. It's free if you want to listen to the occasional commercial and that is how I began but now I pay $2.99 a month to get it commercial-free. Pretty much every genre or any song can be found on Pandora. As much as I plug them for free you'd think they would comp me that $2.99 a month.

Cha Cha says she is going to sleep the eight hours from O'Hare to Heathrow in six days (who is counting?). I cannot even sleep for more than four hours in the comfort of my own home and you want me to try to sleep for an eight-hour flight? I will not miss an in-flight meal and possibly a movie or two or three. I LOVE flying. I love everything about it. I love the take-off, the landing, the being in the wild blue yonder. I have a wandering heart and when I am wanderin' my heart is happy. I can probably even blog while I am in the air. I am not sure, but, I don't think I have blogged from a plane before.

Over the last couple of days I watched Dances With Wolves on HBO GO. I watched that movie alone in the theater when it first came out and think it has been my favorite film since that day. The reason I said "over the last couple of days" is because I would watch it while I took a break from mowing or edging the lawn or killing weeds or eating lunch... John J. Dunbar (Kevin Costner) was a blogger when they called it a diary or a journal. I have several journals around too; I have written as a hobby pretty much my entire life. Dances With Wolves still makes me tear-up about twelve or thirteen times throughout the movie and I have probably seen it about 20 times. I may say that it is my favorite film of all time. I need to make that top ten list one of these days - maybe while Cha Cha is sleeping over then Atlantic Ocean? If you have never seen this movie I have the DVD if you want to borrow it. I think DVD's are like books - you should share them with your friends.

I have officially started writing my short story; it is beginning as a short story, at least. Who knows maybe it will be a novel before I am done? You know how long-winded I can be sometimes. I am not sure where the story is going but I do know where it began. Knowing me, as I do, it will have a lot of twists and turns and many surprises because that is what I like in stories. I can't wait to read it when it's done. I am actually thinking of self-publishing it if I think it turns-out well. I have never looked into self-publishing and maybe that is costly but I won't put that cart into the mix until I am almost done rearing the horse.

I just received an email that DirecTv, which we have and love, is now "part of the AT&T family." Is that "family" deal an off-shoot of the phrase "parent company?" Is it supposed to make me believe that they love me and care about me like my family does? Am I supposed to love them like I love my family and friends?  We chose DirecTv for many reason and now you just get married to a new dad and we have no say in the MATTer? I imagine nothing will change immediately but, eventually, the rates will probably begin to creep-up and the service will change. I will go into this new family with an open-mind and heart but I will be watching closely Mommy Dearest!

I have another dentist appointment today. I must have good dental insurance (Delta Dental) because they are really trying to get me there a lot. This is to finish the cleaning that they began last week. I brush every day (about five times a day) but nothing is good enough for these people. They keep trying to talk me into this and that but this is it for me. I am done for another seven or eight years after this. Whatever doesn't get done today isn't going to get done. Perhaps the dentist is planning on taking a hunting trip to Zimbabwe and, as it appears to me, these trips can be costly.When I get home I am going to begin packing for Europe.

 This should make packing easier! 

I hope you have a great day while I am busy opening "wider...wider still..." I really hate the dentist; I am not dreading the day when I can just take my teeth out of a glass on the sink and pop them in though I do enjoy corn-on-the-cob occasionally. There are pros and cons to everything in life aren't there? Now I have packing stuck in my mind. Maybe that is the problem with my brain - it's just over-heating from all of the U-turns and clover leafs and long stretches without a fill-up? Okay, I had really better stop before I get off on another tangent and being a new paragraph. Thank you for stopping by - I know I say it often but, I do really like that you stop in so often. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

Today's Knee-Jerk (one or the other)

Yesterday was kind of a frustrating day. I had several holes in my memory of things that I have done

Can a brother get a new memory card installed? 

many times and places that I have been several times over the past five months or so. Cha Cha came to the hypothesis that it seems to be new things over the past year or so that I am having problems with and that things from longer ago are in my hard drive. Those are my words but her theory. I think she may be onto something. Maybe my brain is just full of useless trivia and garbage so the useful, new information, has no space to be saved. I need a file purge. I do, however, still remember most things (not all) that have to do with people and human contact going back to as long as I could distinguish people from one another - maybe when I was two-years-oldish? Jill said it would be funny if, when we get to Germany where I left about 49 years ago, I would remember how to get everywhere and tell cabbies and such things like "turn right at the next corner and go two blocks up and turn right again..." I am getting better at letting my memory holes (my equivalent to black holes) go, but, it is still a bit disheartening now and again. I had always had a great memory and now I only have my dashing good looks; what am I supposed to do with that?

Seven days from this very moment I will be scrambling wondering what I forgot to pack before the limo gets here (though it won't be here until the PM). I have a checklist but I know I will forget something; don't we always forget something when we go out of town? Unless it is the passport or my wallet I guess everything else could be purchased. I do have a checklist but who knows if everything I will need will be on the checklist? 

 Ich ging mit der deutchen version fuhr die praxis 

We are such a knee-jerk society here in 'Merica. Maybe it is more the media and them wanting to strike while the iron is hot but, since that dentist killed the tame-ish lion on a supposed hunting trip, there are many other stories coming out about other big game hunters. I saw a picture just a bit ago of a female hunter and it has a photo of her next to a giraffe she had shot. Why would anybody want to shoot a giraffe? Could there be a more docile animal? Why not go hunting for guinea pigs, koalas and kittens? I do find it kind of ironic, however, that these hunters receive death-threats when they post their photos. I predict a new Planet of the Apes movie based on this or, now that I think about it, that was kind of one of the main themes of Planet of the Apes wasn't it? Who would want to hunt Charlton Heston? Did you know that he played Dr. Zaius in the 2001 Planet of the Apes? See, why do I remember that kind of stuff? Hey, I wonder if I could get a job as game in a hunting expedition or, at least, bait. I would train really hard for it and get into Schwarzenegger-shape (Ralph Schwarzenegger - not Arnold). I suppose that position would just be considered a temp job unless I were really good at it and then, I would be in high demand, and I would make some serious bank. Speaking of bank I heard that Cecil the lovable lion killing dentist has a vacation home in Florida worth something like $1.1 million. What is he the dentist to the stars or something? Most of our entire net-worths are not as much as his vacation home alone. I bet he voted for George W. Bush!

I am not sure what my projects will consist of today but there is always something to do. I really like, more than ever, to do projects because when I am doing them I only need to think about that project I am working on. I always think of other things while working, of course, so I have a pen and paper in my pocket or very hear by. I will still forget to do small things but then I will remember that I forgot and that is like a small victory for we addle-brained. I must admit that it is kind of liberating to know that I am kind of dim. I had always considered myself kind of intelligent until recently and there is so much less pressure knowing that I am a simpleton now. Maybe I was always a simpleton and I just wanted to think I was smarter than I was? Do idiots know they are idiots? I do so there is my answer. I know I need to get the weeds in the yard under control and I think I will edge the sidewalks and the flower beds. It is always a great idea for buffoons like me to play with power equipment. I also have to get another bag together for Goodwill. Since I have been off of work I think we have taken an average of two bags of clothes to Goodwill each week. We are still VERY far away from being minimalists. I also took a huge tub of books over and, did you know, that they will take your old electronic equipment, even if broken, and they will recycle it? I took some old cable converters over and they happily took them for recycling. I always feel altruistic when I go there and a lot less like a dentist. 

Sci-Fi fans will probably get this photo reference

I have to get stuff done and start working on my checklist for what items get the honor of adorning my body outside of the U.S. and A.. I will probably get the weeding and edging done first before the sun gets too high. I hope you have a great day. I need to get a haircut too now that I think of it. Things just keep presenting themselves. Thank you for slowing down a few moments to peruse my cobwebs. TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

A Small Leak Will Sink a Mighty Ship!

Our neighbor, Phyllis, came over last night and brought us an entire album of photos from Fabio's high school graduation party that she took and put together. Actually, it a hardcover book of photos she had made with her photos. She is such a nice person and we have only known her for a few months. We certainly did trade-up from the previous neighbors when she and her family moved in next door. As Phyllis and her grandson were leaving she, Cha Cha and I stood in the front yard while her grandson shot baskets in our driveway and many neighbors came over. It was like watching an episode of Ozzie and Harriet or Leave it to Beaver or something. Kids running all over playing and the grown-ups standing around jaw-jacking.

Is it just me or is that a sexist acronym?

It is time for me to get to the bottom of why I have not been paid anything from my SURS (State University Retirement System of Illinois) my entire time off of work. They have tried to throw every obstacle imaginable at me saying "we don't have this form" or "that my doctor's offices didn't send the correct information"... but, as I look at everything, all that they have asked for has been sent to them and now they say nothing and I am paid nothing yet, we still have to pay the hospital and doctor and specialist... bills. They also made me send in proof that I was a citizen of this country. I have been paying their useless insurance and retirement payment for about ten years and, now, you want to know if I am a citizen? How could I be working here without being a citizen? I was sure having state and federal taxes taken out of my check! I can see why there are so many people in this country who do not and cannot pay their medical bills. I am fortunate enough to have other avenues and means to get money (savings, retirement funds from past jobs...) where some people do not have these resources. I am very disillusioned by the state of healthcare in this country and, with the upcoming Presidential election, I believe this will be one my key issues when voting for President. I do not want to see people in need of medical attention go through what I am going through without means to get healthy. I cannot fathom what frustration there must be to have the medical bills Cha Cha and I have had and not being able to pay them. And then, to have people calling them free-loaders or moochers while sitting in their Donald Trump mansions and pretending like they want to run this country. And we call ourselves the best nation on Earth? HA! A nation that does not take care of their sick and hungry and homeless... should not be considered one of the World leaders. What happened to by the people, of the people and for the people? I really have gotten myself worked-up. Fortunately, I try to see the good in things and in people and I usually find it. There is lots of good in our state but it is not near the top - the cream needs to rise. Maybe I will go to my Union and have them investigate? I am paying them for something too I guess. But, I will talk to SURS and my work H.R. Department first (proper channels and all). I feel I have to fight this fight for other people who have this problem but are not as fortunate as I am. don't get me wrong, we could use the money - a small leak will sink a mighty ship. What is gonna happen if and when I retire from this sinking ship? I am afraid all of the lifeboats will be gone by then.

I got the cabinet I mentioned in yesterday's blog finished last night. I worked on it pretty-much all day long. It looks great and I will take some photos and put them somewhere (probably on my Facebook page and maybe the Matt In The Middle Facebook page too). I failed to take any "before" pictures so maybe taking photos is pointless. I am pretty happy with the way it turned-out.

At least I am not this stuffed-up

I am really nasally stuffed-up today. I don't know if I am getting sick or if I have allergies or it a depression symptom or stress or why, but I do know that it is annoying. I think I have days like this off-and-on where everything bothers me all at one time and I deal with the things and then am good for a month or so. I have many things I need to do before I disappear on our trip to my homeland.

I have been writing this blog for a couple of hours and I continue to be distracted by silly things. Maybe I need to just go back to bed for awhile after I finish this and call SURS. Even that acronym bothers me - it seems sexist. I realize it is spelled differently that "sirs" but it is pronounced the same.

I think tomorrow will be the day for shopping for trip-wear. I am not on to buy clothing online and find out that it doesn't fit correctly. I have to know that I don't look even more hideous that normal. I don't to be known as looking like a descendant of Frankenstein's monster forever more in Germany. Did Frankenstein and is bride have children? I checked and yes, Dr. Frankenstein had children but I am not sure if the monster and his bride did or could. How come the movie was called Bride of Frankenstein when she was actually The Bride of Frankenstein's Monster? After checking I see that there have been many sequels for Frankenstein. Many of the stories were also written by Mary Shelley.

Okay, it is approaching 09:00 and I should call SURS in a few minutes so I am going to wrap this up. I am not very confident that this call will not go well but it is where I believe I have to start. The next step will be the H.R. Department at work and then, if it comes to that, the Union. Why do we pay into all of these programs if, when we need them, they are not there for us? I am trying to work myself-up and get my fighting face on. I can be tenacious and, unfortunately, I think I will have to be Ugly Matt before this is done. I don;t like to be in Hulk Smash mode but sometimes it is necessary and, most of the time, it gets results. Wish me luck (just in your mind is fine).

Thank you for stopping-by to let me whine and get some things off of my blog. Have a great day - so far it seems fairly nice out - I think I will keep it out. TTTT...MITM (out) TA! I will take photos of that cabinet today too - I mostly promise. TA Squared!

In This Corner Weighing-In at 10 Ounces...

I washed all three cars on Saturday right after I blogged. It felt like World War II was going on in the driveway with the Jeep (America) representing the Allies and the Fiat (Italy) and the Toyota (Japan) representing the Axis powers. Fortunately, all three of these guys get along pretty well despite their countries of origins' sordid histories. While I was washing the cars I would make sure to water all of the flowers around the front yard intermittently since we hadn't had rain for several days and it has been pretty hot. I felt like Oskar Schindler (played by Liam Neeson in the film Schindler's List) when he tricked the Nazis into spraying the water from the fire hoses into the very hot train boxcars full of the people heading to the internment camps. That was even before I realized that I was washing the filth from WWII.

I have always been very empathetic and I had always thought that was one of my strong suits but I now believe that maybe I have been wrong for all of these years. I think my empathy is a weakness now. Maybe the times have changed (of course they have) and being empathetic is one of my weak points? I am not sure if I can rid myself of this character flaw because it is now so ingrained in my DNA. Perhaps I am entering that part of life when one looks back and asks, "is this all that there is?" I could not be happier with my family and the friends that I have made over my half-century but I seem like I am entering a George Bailey phase. "...Remember, no man is a failure who has friends." It's odd that this song just came on the radio (Pandora, actually) when I typed that last sentence. That song does always make me Smile! I think I am probably just tired and not thinking clearly (not a new phenomenon for me) because that sleep machine (CPAP) is worthless though I did sleep a bit better last night that subsequent nights. Maybe I just had to get used to it again? I will probably give it another couple of weeks and then decide if it is worthy to travel the globe with Cha Cha and I. Why would I lug something half-way around the world that was useless? Though Cha Cha is doing that. I may as well just grab a 20-pound boulder and take it with me. At least, with a boulder, you pretty much know what you are gonna get - a weapon that they probably would not allow on the plane. I could say that I am a geologist or I could lie and say it is a dinosaur egg.

I have to buy some new travel clothes this week. I will probably go the Aurora to the Premium Outlet Mall or whatever it is called. I am being told that I am not supposed to look so American when I am in Europe. I am not ashamed to be American though there are many embarrassing things going on here most of the time but that can be said about most countries from time-to-time I imagine. I think people all over the World know that people are all different and, even though there may be crazy things going on in the news from one's homeland, that does not mean that you are party to that foolishness. I think much of our problem is that we find it necessary to broadcast every little thing 24 hours every day throughout the cosmos to share our tomfoolery.

While I was mowing the lawn yesterday, just before I turned the sprinkler on so everything could grow again because I love mowing so much, I started to think that maybe I am bi-polar. More specifically, bi-organal if that is a thing. If it is not a thing I am going to take credit for coming-up with the new term that will soon be a craze among all the cool Matts (McConaughey. Damon, Helser, Lauer, Dillon, LeBlanc, Holliday, Wilander (Mats), St. Matthew, Lillard...). I feel that we all have one of our organs be the primary organ. For most people, supposedly, it is the brain that controls our bodies and all of our other organs - kind of the Organ Boss (or, Organ Grinder). I believe that my brain is secondary to my heart (yes, I realize feelings actually come from your brain). I think, with my heart though, sometimes I think with my stomach. My brain is just on a mini vacation or hiatus because he knows that the heart can handle everything. I have always worn my heart on my sleeve and, try as I might, most of the time I have a difficult time hiding my true feelings. I am pretty good at it when I am playing poker; I am pretty good at hiding my emotions when I want to take someone else's chips. I would say my heart running things is great, as far as I am concerned, most of the time. I have a battle of The Wizard of Oz going on inside.

I mowed the lawn yesterday morning and, for the third time in a row, it rained right after I got done mowing. This time it included ping pong ball-sized hail. That is slightly smaller than golf ball-sized hail though I bet there were a few golf balls in the mix. It seemed like a drought before I mowed and I had sprinklers going most every day for the past week. I am sorry that I waited to mow the lawn until yesterday; I could have saved you and us some water usage on our bills had I mowed sooner. I will try to keep an eye on that in upcoming weeks though August 12th - 24th you will be on your own or you need to get a stand-in groundskeeper. This week, in the role of head groundskeeper, will be William James Murray. Can you tell that Bill Murray loves baseball? His kids' names are: Homer (home run), Luke (Appling), Cooper (Cooperstown), Cal (Ripken), Jackson (Reggie) and Lincoln (he loves the Cubs and they are from Illinois - The land of Lincoln). I don't know if that is who the kids are named for but I bet I am correct on at least one or two of those.

 There may have been a few gold ball sized ones in there 

Alright, this blog is getting away from me like an outside pitch and I have stuff to get going on. Idle hands (and minds) are the devil's play thing and I don't need any help from no devils. I have a filing cabinet project to get done today as my primary goal. We inherited an old (metal) filing cabinet several years ago and I am going to transform it today. I will take before and after photos but I wish I would have taken a photo yesterday before I gave it the deep clean to get a true "before" photo. You will just have to picture it filthy with spilled (what looked like coffee or soda) stains all over it and bits and pieces of various kinds of tape and stickers and such that had been on it for centuries at the office/business it came from. It was nothing a little elbow grease and a razor blade couldn't handle. Anyway, I have to get to that.

Thank you for coming by - I am always happy that you do (even though I really don't know when you don't). Have a great day and watch out for hail Henny Penny! TTTT...MITM (out) TA!

Don't Just Say Cheese - Eat Cheese (and lots of Cotton Candy)

Happy August! Only eleven days until Cha Cha's birthday. Maybe I will do the countdown like the retailers do for us with Christmas. Make sure to get your Cha Cha birthday shopping done early this year! Can you believe that we are only a few months away from that time of year? Has anybody ever complained this early about the over-commercialization of Christmas? I think I just need to have something to complain about; that is what makes me happy, ironically.

Tonight we are going to a get-together with some of Jill's work friends and their spouses; it is a bring a dish-to-pass kind of thing. I am making ceviche. I started "cooking" the fish (snapper and shrimp) last evening. To "cook" the seafood for ceviche you just cut it into little cubes (I think I would just call them "sections" with the shrimp since cubes would be difficult unless they were very small cubes) and cover them in lime juice. It actually tuns the fish kind of an opaque color by the time it is done - if opaque is considered a color. I opened the fridge to give them another stir and the inside of the refrigerator smells amazing. I love the smell of fresh lime.

Yesterday I went to the scammer dentist and my buddy Greg sent me a message when I checked-in there on Facebook to "check to see if there are any lion heads on the wall." Too soon? I found it quite amusing (remember, I am a sick man) though that was a very sad story to me and millions of others. Humor is the way that I get-over things. That makes sense to combat it that way since joy is the opposite of sorrow. I have always found humor to be a great way to deal with and mask sadness and pain. BTW (by the way), there were no lion heads mounted anywhere in the office. They are probably at the dentist's homes or in their private offices. The nurses and hygienists sure are like car salesmen (a non-gender term these days) at the dentist aren't they? When I was a kid and, there probably was no such thing as dental insurance, I don't think they were pushing all of the stuff that they try to sell us these days. Maybe they were and I was just a kid so I didn't pay attention. And, who gives you: dental floss, toothpaste, mouth wash and a new tooth brush as a parting gift? I got a bag with all of this stuff in it. Was it a gift or a not so subtle hint? I am here for you to do that work - what's the deal with sending me a do-it-yourself at-home kit? If Hermey (me, in this case) wanted to be a dentist he wouldn't be here in the first place would he/I? Give me a candy bar and some gum or cotton candy to get the repeat business. You work so skillfully on the up-selling during the entire appointment but you drop the ball at repeat business at the end. Always be closing (except the mouth where you always say, "open, open...)"! I need to start a dentist profit-building clinic. Our motto might be: "if you want to be able to hunt and kill beloved, semi-domesticated zoo animals and pretend you didn't know they were national treasures - this is the clinic for you." When Cha Cha and I discussed this we talked about the dentist when were kids. There were no hygienists. The dentist did it all HIMself (cleaning and everything). The MEN dentists probably decided (since this was the 60's and the 70's) that "women were put on this Earth to do the cleaning so why don't I hire a few super-hot, young broads to come in here and clean-up these teeth so I can get some more golf in?" Not to rock the apple cart but, I notice that our dentist bills are paid much more easily and completely by insurance policies than our medical bills. And, how come all the people who work at the dentist office have perfectly-straight, blindlingly white teeth? Is that a perk for working there, you get a great dental plan? And, why are there rarely any dude assistants? Is it because young guys won't go to the dentist if it doesn't look like a singles-bar? Women will go because they are smart but. for the guys. they need bait. I hate dentists now that I blog about it!

 In for drone shooting or penguin hunting at Santa's? 

I have a problem with the Goodyear Blimp; I blame Goodyear for the influx of drones. I have a real problem with drones. They just drone on and on and on. I understand their usefulness for military operations and the handiness for covering golf events or whatever drones are used for but I have a fenced-in backyard so I can sunbathe naked and I don't think anybody else should be subject to that kind of horror. Jill says that I should use that weapon against them and maybe looking at my white cottage cheese ass would stop the drones from at least these parts anyway. My words, not hers. Let's unite - "white cottage cheese butts against drones!" Is that racist? Any color butts would be welcome. Drones are being called the third revolution in military warfare by Aljazeera America. The first two revolutions being: gunpowder and nuclear weapons. I like Alfazeera America because it reports the news without a liberal or conservative slant. It reports news as I was taught back in the day when journalism was journalism - report the facts and let the reader form their own opinion. That's why I blog - so I can have an editorial on everything I feel like talking about. Like minded people or people with open-minds will read it and whoever doesn't doesn't. I write the blog to clear my mind (easier than it used to be) and I am happy that it makes you smile once in awhile and see that someone thinks like you or that you cannot believe someone believes or thinks the things that I believe or think, Spice of life!

Okay, I have ranted enough today about nothing but everything all at the same time. I hope you have a great weekend. Someday soon Saturday may become my Monday again every week. Oh, vaguely speaking of my health... the C-PAP machine is not helping me sleep any better so, last night, I tried the C-PAP machine and one of the sleeping pills that the doctor has prescribed for me (I don't take them often because they are like giving a tiger or a gorilla an aspirin as a tranquilizer - THEY DON'T WORK for me! I thought, maybe with the combination of the sleep machine and the sleeping pill (Cha Cha's idea with full-disclosure) I could make it the whole night-through. NOPE. So, tonight I will try Cha Cha's suggestion of taking the pill when I wake-up in the MIDDLE of the night. I did try that before and it didn't work any better but that was before the machine was thrown into the mix. I am not confident that it will work but I will give it a shot. Speaking of shots maybe I should start drinking again to sleep better. Not really an option for me, really. I think I need to go back to trying what I was going to do years ago (for those of you who have been reading my warped writings that long). I was/am think about going all Da Vinci and sleeping in four-hour shifts again. It would be easy now but, when I go back to work, it may slow-down my productivity while on the job. Do you think I could call in on the radio and tell the dispatcher that I was going to be 10-7 for about four hours? I am not sure how well that would go over with the higher-ups; at least I would call it in. Once I got a 10-4 (after the 10-9 that would have surely followed) I would quickly turn off my radio and set the alarm.

I am really ending now before I get-going on another rant. Thanks for spending some time with me today. I will probably not blog tomorrow because Sunday is the day I think of what I will write for the next six days (yes, you know that is a lie). Have a great weekend and don't do anything you don't want to do or anything you want recorded by a drone. TTTMonday...TA (out)!