Bumming Myself Out - I Am Getting Good At This

This morning was not an ordinary end to a day. Our dog, Maisy, has been with us since 16-year-old Fabio was about two-years-old. I remember the day we got her. I was at work and I met Cha Cha and Splenda and Fabio and our nieces Morgan and Emily at the pet store in St.Charles to see the candidate for the new member of our family. It had been a long arduous search as it was quite a high honor to become a member of our household and the decision could not be taken lightly. The yet to be named dog had received five out of five votes and even though, at this point, it was just a courtesy to make me feel like I was part of the decision I was asked to stop by and give my phologna bologna blessing. It was more just to make me unable to say "I told you so" had it not worked-out. Well, 14 years later we have an old lady dog who seems to have worked-out. I walked in the house this morning about 06:06 and did my usual morning rituals - clean the kitchen, get Fabio going for school, make his lunch for school (I wish he'd do hot lunch) and the other things I do that seem just routine. Everything is routine until you discover why you do it. I always check both of Maisy's beds to make re she is in one of them. This morning she was not in either of her beds. I didn't think much of it and figured she snuck upstairs where she is not supposed to go. I made Fabio's lunch and she didn't come looking to go outside so the search began. She was nowhere and I mentioned it to my slumbering housemates who got out of bed quicker they ever had before. The search began.We scoured  the house and the yard which extended to the neighborhood and neighborhood Facebook site and then to Cha Cha calling the police... Much, much longer story short I received a call from a lady in neighboring subdivision (ironically, the one we lived-in when we got Maisy) who asked if we lost a puppy because she had found her. I told the other two members of the search party who quickly jumped  in the car while I went to bed - my work was done. Maisy had been gone for about nine hours but now she is home - SLEEPING! Of course, it had to happen on the night of very heavy rains and winds. I continued to thing of the movie Snoopy, Come Home.

I bet we don't even talk about it on Dirty Laundry Podcast. I will not bring it up but if Cha Cha does we will talk about it. There was some guilt felt in the household for her disappearance so it may be TOO SOON, TOO SOON. Oh yeah, there is a podcast up there and we will record another tomorrow night.

I am watching the DVR of Mad Men. So far I am disappointed. I have about 1 1/2 hours of the show to go so maybe it will get better. Is irony that I watch a television show about an advertising agency and I fast-forward through the commercials. Maybe that's why there are Coca-Cola bottles sitting on people's desks and they discuss that they are driving Jaguars and stuff huh? I bet the whole idea for the show went something like this, "people aren't watching commercials anymore. How can we make people watch the commercials and charge even more to the advertisers?" Brilliant really. Too bad Bewitched or Bosom Buddies didn't think of that because they would probably still be in production if they had and Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari would still be making about the same amount of money.

That makes me think that I have been thinking a lot about the podcast lately. This is blog 833 and you are probably about one of four people who will read it. I think I need to focus on one topic and try to make money doing this. WWHDD (what would Henry Desmond do)? Newsflash Scolari and Hanks will work together again very soon. Your heard it here first. Any suggestions for a way for me to make money doing this so I don't have to leave my bed please let me know. If Hugh Hefner can do it why can't I?

I have managed to bum myself out somehow. I am just gonna end this now. Maybe Belushi should have written a blog. Talk at you tomorrow maybe. BYE! I didn't even TTTT you.

Auntie Em It's a Twister, It's a Twister

I woke up from my after-work slumber (I got a whole 4 hours) and Cha Cha asked if I would like to walk to Schnuck's grocery store) with her. It's only about a mile away and I have a wedding that I have to look George Clooneyesque for within a couple of years or so for so, of course, I said "HELLSER Yeah." Off we went. First I went upstairs and grabbed my large Army backpack. There's no use trying to carry several plastic planet-killing bags in the 40-mph wind and, though we usually get the paper bags, it would make no sense. So off we went. On the way there we passed the lake (it's really just a retention pond I guess but morons do fish in there even though there are "no fishing" signs all around it and ducks and geese and an occasional swan do hang out there) and came up to an older man and his dog. I am a magnet for people but maybe they all say the same thing when I actually say "hello." I guess that is an invitation to speak so I am to blame I suppose. Maybe that's why the lady who lives across the street (remember we live in a cul-de-sac) never talks or even waves back to any of we neighbors. She just marches around with a scowl on her face. Anyway, when we approached the man he remarked how his dog was trying to catch the rabbits. The dog was leashed but came right up and smelled my crotch. I wonder how he liked my watermelon-flavored edible panties? I just let him smell away. I used to stop dogs from this but for some reason now this time I didn't care. Anyway the man told us he was a rescue dog. This meaning the man adopted him from a rescue shelter. The dog had been abused which was very odd because the dog was very friendly and seemed to love being petted. The man said the dog's name was Buck. He was named Buck because he had been shot-up with buckshot by the former owner. So we met Buck and went on our way. We went to the store to get Cha Cha's Pellegrino and Perrier and several other things and decided to eat lunch at the store. They have a salad bar and a place to eat at the front of the store so, I got salad and Cha Cha got soup. Then we went home. I weighed the backpack when we got home and I had gained 19.8 pounds to my back. Taking it off made me want to lose 20 pounds even more. 20 pounds makes a real difference.

As we approached the house out neighbor Dan asked, "is that your fascia in the tree?" We looked up about 30 feet and there was gray fascia in the tree. We walked the perimeter of the house and sure enough - wind damage about 25 feet up .Now I have to wait until the wind dies down to get the fascia out of the tree and see about repairing the house. Maybe I will just say "State Farm Find Me Money" and let them worry about it? I am now an official certified weather spotter now so I knew this was gonna happen. Don't ask me for the top-secret National Weather Service (NWS) phone number because I have been sworn to secrecy. I wasn't actually sworn but they said not to share it with anybody so I am sorry, I pretty-much do what I am told. I also do take this very seriously becasue the life I save could be yours. If you see crazy weather just let me know and I will spot it for you and make the call if necessary. It's a NWS thing you wouldn't understand.


Hey, the St. Louis Cardinals and the San Francisco Giants are playing on television. Looks like last year's National League play-offs. I guess that is why this one is on television huh? Love me some Cardinals' baseball. Maybe I will lie down and fall asleep watching the game to increase my four hour sleep depth.
On April 9th I am voting for Marilyn Parker for Dekalb school board. I don't know much about her except her photo looks like she is nice and her granddaughter just came to the door and gave me a flier and said with a great big smile, "my grandmother is running for school board and you can pick people and the election is on April 9th." I looked at the photo and saw that she looks nice and said, "tell her I will vote for her." She got a big smile and said, "thank you." I really will vote for her because I said that I would. I really hate when the doorbell rings though; I always wonder "who in the Helser wants something this time?" Sometimes I don't even answer the door but for some reason I did this time and now I have to keep my word to a, I am guessing between 12-15-year-old, African American girl that I will vote for her grandmother. Even if I do not vote for anybody else on the ballot and I am running short on time I will make my way to the church over by us where we vote and drop a bean for Marilyn Parker. It's actually check a box or put a stylus on the box or whatever the method of voting is this time around. I always vote because if I don't vote I feel that I don't have right to complain and my friends don't have the opportunity to blame me when my candidate makes an error.

I really with I had chosen the dragon fruit Vitamin Water Zero instead of the acai-blueberry-pomegranate one.

The new Dirty Laundry Podcast is up at that link and on iTunes. It's hard to believe we have none 106 shows. I wonder when it will end. I am supposedly going to live for about 49 more years so I guess that is a ballpark of how long it will continue. I listened to most of the show last night and did not relize how many controversial topics we discussed even though we dealt with them in our light-hearted manner. I really love the podcast. It is probably one of the top 20 things I am proud of in my life. I would say number 18.

I have to get s few winks now. I am going to try to go to dinner with Cha Cha and The Lost ock and The Found Sock if I feel I can juggle it all. If I sleep fro two hours that will raise the bar to six total and mybe that will be enough to handle 7.5 hours of complete chaos later? We'll see how I feel and if I can actually fall asleep. Wish me sleep. TTTT (maybe but more likely Monday)...MITM (not gonna proofread this just heading OUT) TA!

Getting Older One Blog at a Time!

Did she do her nails right before this photo?

Cha Cha and I received some very exciting news last night. We knew it was only a MATTer of time - Splenda is engaged to be married. We like Brad very much and we could not be more excited for them both. It is weird; even though I knew it was coming it immediately made me feel older. I never really thought about it but this is not only a right of passage for the bride and groom it is a milestone for everybody in their lives. The next step is what? Grandparents?  Splenda and Brad met in college just like Splenda's parents did and that one has seem to stick so far. I am sure I will blog and we will podcast about this a lot between now and the time of the wedding (in a couple of years?). I am very happy for them.

I am editing the podcast right now and I, as I always do, think the show sounds great. Maybe it's because I am interested in what we are talking about since I took part in deciding what we talked about. It is kind of difficult to MATTage both at the same time but how can I be the Mattster Of All Media (MOAM) if I can't do blogging and Facebooking and Tweeting and editing all at the same time?

Speaking of Tweeting I follow Roger Ebert on Twitter. I always thought that he was the best film reviewer. I almost always agreed with his recommendations and he almost always agreed with my movie preferences and likes. I am sad that he has passed but I feel that he was not enjoying his life for the past ten years or so. What is the protocol here? Do I continue to follow him on Twitter? It isn't really following HIM if someone keeps tweeting on his account so I am not really following him rather whoever has decided to take over his Twitter account. I am pretty sure that I am going to un-follow him on Twitter. Is that disrespectful? I never cared for Gene Siskel - just for the sake of full disclosure.

Last night the new television series Hannibal began. I really had no intention of watching it but I recorded it because I have been pleasantly surprised by Bates Motel that Cha Cha and I watched by accident one day and now we are both totally hooked. I watched Hannibal this morning and if it stays as good as the one from last night I will continue to watch the show. It was REALLY good. I am big on psychological thrillers so it already had a head-start, no pun intended. I have been a fan of all of the Hannibal Lecter films. This television show is a prequel, to this point anyway, of Lecter being caught. The main characters are: Hannibal Lecter, or course, Special Agent Jack Crawford and Special Agent Will Graham. Lecter is played by Mads Mikkelsen who played Le Chiffre (the main Bond villain) in Casino Royale with Daniel Craig. He is a good villain. Hugh Dancy plays Graham. I have seen him in a lot of roles that I have liked him in and he is good here though I will have Edward Norton stuck in my head for a while like I will have Tony Hopkins in my head for Lecter. Jack Crawford was no big deal to me. Harvey Keitel, Scott Glenn and Dennis Farina have played him but it wasn't that big a deal to me. I liked Scott Glenn the best so far but I was a bit thrown to see Lawrence Fishburne in the role.I cannot get Cowboy Curtis out of my head every time I see him.

This dude is gonna help catch Hannibal Lecter?

I have to end this because I am having uploading problems with the podcast. I will let you know when it is ready. I will post it on my Facebook (Matt Helser) page, the Dirty Laundry Podcast Facebook page and on my Twitter account Matt The Agitator. Nothing worth doing is ever easy. Enjoy your Friday night as I will enjoy my Tuesday morning and afternoon. Thanks a lot of stopping by. I will probably blog again tomorrow afternoon. TTTT (probably)...MITM (out). TA!

Conspiracy Judggling

That's the hat!

We recorded the season three premiere podcast last night and I like to wait about a day before I edit the show because I feel that I may be more objective if I remove myself from it for a day or two. That being blogged I was inspired by, I don't know what, to go down to the studio and record the opening of the show. I still have not touched any of the work we did last night but I have laid-down the beginning of the show. I am fighting the urge of going back down and starting the rest of the editing process but I think I will try to wait until tomorrow afternoon for that - we'll see how that goes. It sounds so cool when I say I "went down to the studio" but it really is just going down 13 steps to the studio. I wish it were more like jumping in a door-less pink jeep with no top wearing my straw lawn mowing cowboy hat (me wearing the hat not the jeep wearing it) and driving down to a little building (more of a shack) next to the ocean but that may be in the future. I bet we'd have great shows if we were on one of Florida's Keys or on the Mexican Riviera or someplace like that. A girl can dream.

I just read that someone hacked into North Korea's social media (Twitter and Flickr) sites. Who would have even thought North Korea had social media sites? Knowing that now I wish I had been a follower of North Korea on Twitter but I am afraid now I would look like an NK sympathizer or a commie or something. I don't need to be on a list of subversives for many reason. One of the posts read,  "threatening world peace with ICBMs and Nuclear weapons/wasting money while his people starve to death." They also changed a photo of Kim Jong Un to have a pig snout and pig ears with a Mickey Mouse image on his torso. Could it be someone at Disney? Actually a famous hacking group called Anonymous claims credit or responsibility and say they have gained  member information from 15,000 accounts of the government's site. 

I'm pretty sure I'd call this one in

Gay marriage - still an issue, gun control - still an issue, North Korea - still an issue, the weather - still an issue though it is getting better in the MIDDLEwest. 

Tonight I become a certified weather-spotter. I have had experience spotting weather my entire life but now I will become certified. With this certification I guess if I see inclement weather or a funnel cloud or some meteorological anomaly I will be able to call a secret number or something and they will call or a "warning" or a "watch" just based on my observation. I hope this certification is easier than the meteorology class I took on college. I have an unfair advantage as I have a part of my body that aches when the barometer changes drastically. Cha Cha doesn't like me talking about it because... I cannot even tell you why I can't tell you because then I will be telling you why. It isn't polite to blog about our private places. I will just say that since my vasectomy long ago the left region of part of my anatomy signals me with barometric discomfort. I think I just told you without telling you - you are so clever to wiggle your way through my labyrinth of weather warning clues.   

I am watching a film and they just played The Chicken Dance and now I cannot get that song out of my head. I also have the song Cold Dead Hand from last week's Dirty Laundry Podcast stuck in my noodle. If you haven't heard the song you must listen to last week's show or at least go to iTunes or FunnyorDie.com and hear the song - very funny and catchy. I used the words chicken and noodle in the same paragraph and now I have chicken noodle soup stuck in my head. Now I am picturing chicken noodle soup pouring out of my nose and ears. What in the HELSER is wrong with me? Now I am hungry for chicken noodle soup. I am so weak-minded. I need to picture myself winning the lottery a little more often maybe.

Why is everything a conspiracy? Yesterday was the anniversary of the day that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated by James Earl Ray in Memphis. Supposedly, James Earl Ray did not act alone. It seems that no assassin has ever acted alone according to conspiracy theorists. Sirhan Sirhan, Lee Harvey Oswald, James Earl Ray... the government is always mentioned as a possible co-conspirator in these theories. Are there really these theories or are they just made up for movies and television shows? Is it just that we cannot believe that these madmen were capable of tricking so many people; is it law enforcement trying to make it seem more convoluted so we don't wonder why they couldn't have stopped something like this? Maybe it's just fun for us to think that everything is a conspiracy? Did we really go to the moon? Are Chicken McNuggets really chicken? 

I have to get some things done so it is time to wrap this up. Thanks for landing here for a few minutes. I will porbably have the podcast uploaded tomorrow and I will let you know when it's ready. Have a great rest of the day and a great Thrusnight. TTTT...MITM (out - or am I?) TA!

We Would BE So Much Better Without Money

The Fonz and Beetlejuice

After writing yesterday's blog I thought a lot about my college days. It made me think of all of the sports we played. We played intramural: football, softball, basketball I think all four years of college.We also played a lot of hockey but they didn't have intramurals for hockey. It made me smile and think of a few of our team names. One year for softball we were Love Brokers and I think that same year for basketball we were Phi Slammy Your Mammy. Love Brokers came from the movie Night Shift. What a great movie - not cinematically maybe but really funny. Kevin Costner's first film I think (don't blink your eyes). Directed by Richie Cunningham and starring The Fonz and Beatlejuice and Diane Chambers. Who else? Shannon Doherty even before she was in Little House on the Prairie. I know this may surprise you but Clint Howard was in it. And so was the director of the film in a couple of very, very small bit parts. You would think being Clint Howard's brother and the director of the film he could have gotten a bigger part. I want to see that movie again. I think I have it in a box on VHS somewhere in the crawlspace. The team name Phi Slammy Your Mammy was based on Phi Slamma Jamma. That was the nickname of the University of Houston Cougar's men's basketball team in the early 1980's. They were pretty good at basketball with players like: Clyde "The Glide" Drexler" and Hakeem Olajuwon. I think his nickname was Hakeem "The Dream" but I cannot swear to that. He went on to play with Ralph Sampson with the Houston Rockets and together they were The Twin Towers. Oh, college was the life. I really hope there is reincarnation.

While I write this I am watching another pretty good movie from back in the day - Predator. I am sure they will remake Night Shift and Predator one day because that's what they do. Maybe they will remake Footloose again soon; if they remake it would it be a remake of the first one or the second one? This is some of the worst editing that I have ever seen in Predator. It's on AMC so they have to cut some for content and probably more to make sure they get their hour+ of commercials in there.

Pre Mattstrual Syndrome Time

Even though my weekend has pretty much just begun I am bummed that it will end.

I am tired of everybody scamming everybody else. All of these commercials and  infomercials promising things that we all know are impossible yet millions of desperate people feel that they have no other choice and plunk what little money they have down on a lie. And then there are things that are bad for us but they are allowed to continue. How can something like cigarettes be allowed to be made and sold? I can understand the allure of gum disease and halitosis and the potential of cancer and heart disease I guess. Everything is about money in America and be damned the welfare of the people. It even comes down to things like soda pop. Wouldn't be all be better off if we only had water to drink? But, there's lots of money to be made in diabetes and dentistry. I have been in a crappy mood for about a week (end of the month and all - Mattsruation) and my blogs tend to mirror that time of the month.

The washer and dryer both stopped so it's time to fold and start a new load. I also have to tidy-up the studio a bit since Jay Cole will be here tonight to be on Dirty Laundry Podcast. I also have to work on some show prep. When I say "some" I mean A LOT (or ALL). I also have to go to the store so I can keep doing the dishes; we're out of dishwashing soap. Okay, the laundry is calling. Have a great day and remember that the warm air will be arriving in the MIDDLEwest one of these days. Thanks a lot for stopping-in and for listening to the podcast. We're back up in the top 50 with the podcast (number 39 right now). I need to quit worrying about that but we have not reached number one yet since switching to the comedy genre. I don't think we have even made the top ten yet but we will. Get your emails in for the podcast by 4PM MST (Middle Standard Time). TTTT...MITM (out!) Ta

A Deep Dark Sinister Blog or Just the Same Old Stuff?

Why do we do the things we do? This is a question I have been asking myself for the last couple of days. It

doesn't have any deep dark sinister basis it means nothing more than "why do we do the things we do?' Why do I write a blog and you may not? Why do you maybe smoke cigarettes or fly a helicopter and I don't? I know it comes down to what we are/were exposed to and what just clicks with each of us but I was exposed to smoking - quite a few of my relatives that I was with a lot as a child smoked but I have never smoked. My dad loves to fish but I have never liked to fish even though I like to eat fish. Cha Cha likes to garden but I don't like to garden. I have had many philosophical questions like this going on in my head lately. Why do some people think these things and others don't? Is it because of a lot of things happening recently that we have been told are milestones? Splenda turned 21 and Fabio turned 16. My dad turns 75-years-old this year, I will have been married 25 years at the end of this month, I will reach the half-century mark this year... These last three being multiples of five. Are fives and zeros big deals because most of us have five fingers on each hand and ten on the two hands together? Are things in multiples of threes and sixes big deals to sloths? Are there other kinds of sloths other than three-toed sloths?  If not, why do they have to throw the words "three-toed" in the name "three-toed sloths?" Do cartoon characters make big deals about fours and eights? How come cartoon characters only have four fingers on each hand? Is it really so they don't accidentally flip us off? When and why did the MIDDLE finger mean what we think it means? And when did "FU" start to be bad? Why is it bad when we have to do that to procreate and continue our species and that is supposed to be a good thing unless we talk over-population and then, who decided when too many people are too many people? I thought that you could never have too much of a good thing and I believe that most people are good so maybe it's just when we started getting bad people that there were too many people. Wow, I feel well-rested for the first time in about two years today and maybe that is what happens with a well-rested Matt. I am not sure if I am more annoying tired or when I am not tired.

I like cole slaw. Just saying.

The new  Dirty Laundry Podcast  is in the can (or in the ether or on the web or in the pod...). Tomorrow we start the third season. I do love doing the podcast. I love that people get enjoyment from the show and that we make people think and feel entertained and laugh and realize that some of the same things they think are thought by other people too. I think we also educate in our entertainment. We have a guest scheduled to be on the show this week. If you have been a regular listener you will know this person as he has been a guest several times and we always get great feed-back when Jay Cole is on the show.
I think I am going to take some more college courses next semester. I may even start in the summer taking one class. I haven't taken any college courses since I was, well, in college but I have the opportunity to take free college classes and why wouldn't I just do that? I could just take classes for the love of learning rather than having to take things to meet requirements to get a degree. What should I take? Something to help me in my life like nutrition or finance? Something to help me with the podcast like editing or more broadcasting classes since things have changed since I learned all of the things I think I know? When I was working on my broadcasting degree we still had turntables for music. Creative writing classes for the blog and the podcast? Maybe I can work on the college radio or television stations. Acting classes so I could act normal sometimes? Engineering so I could build a bridge? Psychology so I can figure out what's wrong with me? I have taken many, many psychology classes while in college and I still am who I am so that was a waste other than getting the credits and fulfilling my degree requirements. I just now thought maybe I will be Thornton Melon. Why do I have the name Thornton Melon in my head without a single hesitation but I cannot remember what to get when I go to the supermarket without a list?

Yesterday I blogged about maybe getting some tickets for a show in Chicago for our 25th. Broadway is doing the same thing that the movies are doing. Instead of coming up with new ideas they are dredging-up the past in entertainment. Movies are remaking lots of old films - some that were great and didn't need remaking and some that sucked and didn't deserve or need remaking. Broadway has made Catch Me if You Can (the Leonardo DiCaprio film) and Big Fish (the Tim Burton movie) most recently. I liked both of these films but DO SOMETHING NEW AND ORIGINAL like The Book of Mormon, for instance. I do not mean literally redoing The Book of Mormon already just do something original like this is original. I know this in not a new trend but it is just lazy. Maybe I will take a screenwriting class so I can help be part of the solution rather than just continuing to complain about the problem. I probably need something to push me to get a manuscript done. If I HAVE TO do it for a class I will be forced to me motivated maybe. There are always more important things to do when I don't HAVE TO do it (like homework). OMG - I just had a great idea for a play. Seriously, it would be a great show and people would come to see this show. I will not share it now because I may actually write this one. Best thing - IT"S ORIGINAL! A musical maybe but I can only do the lyrics and may have to turn to somebody else for the music (BE READY ERIC SOLFISBURG!)

I had better end because I think you likely stop here for a quick in-out-in-out and I have started to turn this into a cuddling thing. Also, I have to start some laundry and get the kitchen tidied-up. I will try not to get as much sleep for next time. I took two Benadryls for the first time in a long time and it caused me to get seven hours of sleep and that is about twice as much as this old mind is used to. Thanks a lot for making it this far in the blog - that's why I love you so much. Have a great April 2nd and beyond and if you have any suggestions for shows or classes I am all ears. TTTT...MITM (out and wide-awake) TA - H!

No Blog Today - April Fools!

I pity the April Fools that miss Dirty Laundry Podcast

It's April Fool's Day. That's amateur night. This is the day when people expect it; do it when people don't
expect it. I think people like to lie this day because they are immediately absolved. It looked like the weather was getting better and then April Fool's Day - coincidence? Mother Nature, you're a hack!

I finally got the new Dirty Laundry Podcast up today. It is the final load in season #2 (Load #105). Now, tomorrow or Wednesday we will begin season #3. Who knew it would last this long? As long as we continue to have fun doing the show we will continue to do it. I don't foresee it ever ending. If you haven't listened yet you are really missing out.

Thankfully tonight is my Friday. I am tired and I could use a day or two to rest. Cha Cha and my 25th wedding anniversary is in 29 days. I was gonna say that I think I will surprise her and take the night off but it is on a Tuesday which just happens to be my Saturday. Now I just have to figure out something nice to do for the big 25. I just made the big 25 a BIG 25. Any suggestions would be welcomed. I know she'd like to see The Book of Mormon again. I would too especially since I missed about 20-30 minutes parking the car and walking from the parking garage to the theater. Maybe a show, dinner and stay in the city? It makes it so easy that she doesn't read this blog. Why does she need to read it when she won the husband lottery and she lives it?

Oh yeah, Barack tells me all of the country's secrets little dude!

So are gonna go to war with North Korea or what? Are they insane? I suppose they said that when we took on England for our independence too but times have changed since the late 1770's. That's probably something they said too - "times have changed since the 1500's." I think Dennis Rodman is really shirking his responsibilities as Kim Jong Un's best friend and our chief North Korean negotiator and diploMATT. I think his friendship isn't as strong as he thought it was. This is why we don't tell national secrets to Dennis Rodman.

I just got dressed to go to the store. I was in sweatpants and now I am not. Then I have to go get Fabio from tennis practice. I will be back in about a half-hour but you won't even know I was gone unless I die or something but then maybe you'll never see this because it didn't get posted. If someone sees this on my laptop and I am dead just hit that orange "publish" tab at the top of this page and it will creep everybody out though they won't believe it because I died on April Fool's Day even though that would make sense. Maybe I will be back or maybe I will die - isn't that always the case? I guess there are a few more options but those are the biggies!

I am alive (April Fools). April Fools about that April Fools! I got Fabio and went to the store and just made dinner and now I am gonna wrap this up so I can eat and maybe get a few winks. It is actually pretty chilly out. I changed into jeans but I went commando and jeans are not as warm as I would have thought for this form or dress. Oh well, Thanks a lot for stopping-in and for listening to the podcast. I will blog again tomorrow because I will have more time then. Have a great night and just think warm thoughts. TTTT...MITM (I'll be back - spoken in Commando Schwarzenegger voice) TA!