Is Our Fiat Brainwashing Us?

Today is Friday, Saturday and Sunday all rolled into one. It does make things less complicated. I get to work tomorrow. It has been a long time since I was in a job where I was able to make overtime pay. I have been one of those idiots who has worked for salary and worked many extra hours for no extra pay; I like getting paid more when I do more. I only seems fair when I work twelve hours on my day off I get paid for eighteen I think, Don't tell them but they probably could have had me at fifteen.

Tonight we are going to record the new load of Dirty Laundry Podcast. I really enjoy doing the show. I like that people like it and I think it's really cool that we are listened to by people all over the world. I wish some of the people who listen to us in other countries would contact us but just knowing that they listen is humbling. There really aren't that many people who contact us in this country either. We get four or five letters a month but wish we got more. It's fun to read the letters on the show and hear what people have to say.

Tuesdays are the days that I have the hardest time blogging because I am trying to save things for the podcast. I guess I could overlap things but I don't really want to do that; I want them both to be fresh - like me.

I have to go with Cha Cha to the doctor soon, She is going to some kind of hearing specialist and they want me to go with. Something about using me for the testing because I am someone that she talks with regularly. She has been hard of hearing for quite awhile and she has tried several "over-the-counter" (if that is the right term in this case) hearing devises/aids. This one we are going to get her tested for is an actual professional or industrial or whatever term fits here devise. Sometimes I like that she cannot hear some of the things I am up to but I hope for her that this works. I worry that she won't like the podcast as much if she can here well..

Dirty Laundry Brainwashing

We have to start heading East to get her tested so I have to cut this short. I will blog more tomorrow and let you know how this goes. She is upstairs getting ready and she will give me crap when she comes down here - guaranteed! I an watching Little House on the Prairie and she always gives me crap about watching this show. I never watched it when it was on but it is one of my innocent pleasures (I have nothing to be guilty about). It was a simpler time even though it was a tougher time. I will talk at you tomorrow in blog and in pod. Thanks a lot  for being my "dear diary." Enjoy the nice MIDDLEwest cold weather - it is gonna get worse before it gets better. If you have nice weather - good on ya mate! I am jealous but I am happy for you. That reminds me... we are talking about going to Italy on the summer. I am not sure why we decided on Italy but that's what she we decided. TTTT...MITM (ciao). Maybe the Fiat is going to her head...there's brainwashing in them there cars. TA

B.L.O.G. (Better Life Obtainable Guaranteed!)

Happy (your) Friday.

Life is not all about who is better; life is a lot about politics. Ironic, with the Presidential Election just ending and I am going to talk about politics; I thought I wouldn't talk about politics for another four years or so. This has to do more with politics in growing up and high school sports. Fabio did not make the cut for the sophomore basketball team and there are at least a couple of players that made the team that he is a lot better than. I haven't talked to the coach yet to find out the reason he didn't make the team but I will. I am not one of those a-hole dads who do this but just so we know what to work on. The last two days have been parent/teacher conferences at their school so I will wait until Monday. In addition to Fabio being better than a couple of the players there are at least two of the boys who are juvenile delinquents always in trouble and getting suspended and such but I guess teams need Dennis Rodman's too huh? I reminded Fabio that Michael Jordan didn't make his high school team either when he was a sophomore. He responded, "I am not Michael Jordan." I said, "he wasn't Michael Jordan when he was a sophomore in high school either. Well, he was but he wasn't the Michael Jordan we all know now." Fabio had always said that he didn't want to play basketball at the varsity level but I think this will change his mind from the way that he is talking. I offered to get him into a training program to build his strength and speed and he seemed open to it. My friend Debbie T. also suggested that he play intramural basketball at school. He seemed like that is something that would be fun for him and I think he would like being one of the best players in the league (like Michael Jordan). We'll see what happens and he is not sad but I can tell that he is  really disappointed. This is one of those points in life that we can see what we are made of and what is important. A cross-road has arrived.

I am so run-down. I wonder if this cold is trying to find a home in me again. I think I only slept for about four hours and I have to work in six hours so maybe I will try to get some more sleep. Next week I get to work an extra day (twelve hours of overtime working for ESPN sort of - I could tell you more but then...never mind...I can't).

I think that is it for today. Tomorrow? Maybe, maybe not. I hope you have a great whatever you want to have a great of. Thanks for stopping in. TTTNT (next time)...MITM (gone) TA!

A Very Merry Un-Blogday to You, to You!

Just got home from taking Fabio for his basketball physical. He is perfectly healthy. He is still in the top 96 percentile in the height department for his age. I am happy that he takes after Cha Cha's side of the family because I am the tallest one in my family (parents, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins...) and I am only 5'9" (MIDDLE by most American measurements but Bigfoot surrounded by my clan). Thanks to Cha Cha's lineage there is hope for the Helser descendants getting out of The Shire.

Today is Bram Stoker's 165th birthday and it's my guess that he is still alive somewhere. I bet Dracula is on television today or tonight somewhere. In case you are unfamiliar Bram Stoker is the Irish gent who wrote Dracula. His real first name was Abraham; can you imagine President Bram Lincoln? Bra would have been better for Lincoln. Filmmaker John Borowski is on the newest load of Dirty Laundry Podcast and I have to wonder if it's a coincidence or fate with it being Stoker's birthday since John's first three films have been documentaries about serial killers. Count Dracula has to be one of the most famous serial killers of all time. The main difference between he and Borowski's subjects is that Dracula was fictional and H.H. Holmes, Albert Fish and Carl Panzram were not. One of my favorite parts of doing the podcast, with spending time talking to Cha Cha as my #1 favorite, is that I have met so many really great people that I consider good friends now.

I noticed that fuel prices went up pretty quickly after the election was over. I also heard that gun stock, the kind that you buy to benefit from a company's profits not the kind that you hold the gun against your body with, sales went up. I cannot help but think that the fuel prices were lower pre-election to get us to vote a certain way and the stock sales are due to people buying stocks because they are counting on gun sales to rise for fear of tougher regulations coming soon. Everything is about money in this country and I think it's a shame. I voted the way I did despite all of these issues.

The Matt Hatter!!!

Does the Tea Party still exist? I think I want to start the Sun Tea Party. Maybe the Earle Grey Party. I also like Chamomile. Maybe we could combine the Green Party and the Tea Party and, do I need to say it?, The Green Tea Party!

I think I am going to make a big salad and get some stuff done before I have to get some other stuff done. Thank you, as always, for sharing some of your time with me reading the blog. I hope you have a great day and night. I am pretty sure I will be back here tomorrow sometime. TTTT...MITM (salading out). TA! Salad really should be a verb don't you think?

Guess Who I Voted For (again)!

I was dreading to have to pack to move to Canada today but I am really happy to stay in America. I love Canada and I will, one day probably, be proud to be Canadian with tri-citizenship, but I hate packing and moving. I also love America but I was afraid of what direction it was headed if things would have wound up differently last night. Thank you to the people of Wisconsin for showing us that we made the right decision about Paul Ryan (cannot even win his own state) and the good people of Michigan and Massachusetts (where Romney was from and where he was Governor) to show us that we made the right choices because you must know these men better than we do and the three of you say they are not worthy. Why do Canadians never say they are moving to America? That should tell us something.

One thing I cannot believe is that Jesse Jackson, Jr. is still a Congressman in Chicago. He has been out of commission for months and months and has been accepting campaign donations even though he hasn't really been running/campaigning from The Mayo Clinic. His wife has been doing all of his campaigning because of his bi-polarness or whatever ailment or disease he has. I have a feeling there will be some bigger scandal come out of this before it's all over. I don't know much about him but if you don't campaign how can you win? How do you win by just putting your name on the ballot? He wife is gorgeous and he is handsome and he has the name Jesse Jackson so maybe name and looks do mean a lot more than they should - which is why I do a podcast and a blog where you don't ever have to see my hideousness. Damn you ugly stick - damn you all to Hellser!

Imagine what our country could do with all of the money that was spent on all of the campaigns by candidates. Throw in all of the money that was wasted on the new technologies and the new equipment and graphics for all of the news agencies bought to cover the political scene for the past year and we would be easily able to get rid of the national defecate and probably make college educations free for everyone the next 300 years. It's better to keep the rich rich I suppose (at least they think so)

The ancestors of drug dealers

Marijuana and same sex marriage were huge in many states on the ballots. One day marijuana will be okay universally and we'll wonder what the big deal was; just like we wonder what the deal with Prohibition was with alcohol. I have never smoked marijuana but I love the smell of skunks so I cannot wait to try it one day but "law and order every time is my motto" (most some of the time when convenient). Same sex marriage is going to be nationally acceptable very soon too; many states are showing that it is okay already. I think same-sex marriage is great. If you love someone you should be able to be with that person and be a part of each other's lives with the same advantages and disadvantages as opposite-sex marriages. I, personally, have never tried same sex (and I am very, very certain that I never will because dudes are gross - I don't know how all women aren't lesbians) but why is my way the right way for you? It isn't!

If you read yesterday's blog you know that I went to the doctor and was preparing my excuse for not going to get my tests done since last visit (scroll down to yesterday's blog for details). Turns out they apparently don't put that info in the computer and she didn't even know she wrote me up the lab work orders and now I am supposed to go before my next visit in May. And, even better news, We won't even talk colonoscopy for another year. I guarantee I will lose those orders. Another thing that was odd, I thought, my weight was EXACTLY the same as it was at my last visit. That doesn't make me too happy because I had let it slip a little back up prior to then but I was delighted that it hadn't gone up more.

For someone who says he's not very political I sure am wordy when I am not getting political. I have to finish editing the podcast this morning. I worked on it for about three hours yesterday and it should be up later this morning; I will let you know but there are still plenty of older ones to listen to if you're behind in the meantime. Dirty Laundry Podcast is where to find it (like Dirty Laundry Podcast on Facebook too!)

I had a lot more on my mind but my mind decided that it had better things on its mind and it took over. Tomorrow I will trump my mind and blog about what I want to blog about rather than what she wants to blog about. Yes, I said "she" - we all know that our smart parts are "shes." Thanks for stopping in and sorry if we differ on anything I may have blogged today but isn't that what makes our country great? That and spray cheese? TTTT...MITM (out to be proud to be American again now that the embarrassing campaigning is over) TA!

AND BLOG BLESS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (AND THE REST OF THE WORLD)

Election Excuses For Bloggies!

Apparently no computers for these Dixvillians!

We lived through the end of daylight savings time and do you know what I did not hear one time? I did not hear that I should change the batteries in my smoke alarms. Is that only when daylight savings time begins and not when it ends? The battery manufacturers are really missing out on taking some of our money if that is the case. They could double their sales if the tried to convince us of something stupid twice a year. Don't the smoke alarms "chirp" when the batteries are getting low?

It's election day for most of you. Cha Cha and I voted eight days ago and we won't have to fight the craziness today...woo hoo. For the first time in the history of the stupid voting facts we'll hear today Dixville Notch, Hew Hampshire, the first place to vote and be counted in the United States, ended in a tie. There are only ten registered voters and they ended up five-to-five. Maybe, so this doesn't happen again, they should get one more or get rid of one voter so they have an odd number. Speaking of voting...I cannot believe that with computers the way we have them now we have to have an Electoral College. Why can't we count each vote electronically? I think I am going to print Electoral College sweatshirts and T-shirts. What year was in established? I had to change the subject a bit so I didn't try to come with an insanely funny Dixville Notch joke. Probably something like "all the Dix down in Dixville" with a bunch of Seussian rhymes. I may still do it before this blog is done.

Today is my Saturday. Right now is like my Friday night and then tonight is like my Saturday morning. I know you get tired of me saying that but it is more for me so I remember what I have to do each day/night. Fabio has basketball try-outs after school. I don't think he cares whether he makes it or not. I hope he makes it, of course. I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon. I guess I am too healthy. I do have borderline hypertension, that's fancy for high blood pressure, and they make me come every now and then to take some of my insurance money. I don't know if you remember...the last time I was there they gave me a sheet of paper that I was supposed to go and have a bunch of tests done. Blood and urine and such. I guess that happens when you get to be late MIDDLE-aged. This is the second time they gave me the papers and I didn't go. The last time they didn't mention the papers from the previous time so maybe they won't this time either. I have to pre-MATTitate my excuse. The dog ate the papers? Flood? Locust? I forgot? I had a bone in my leg? I didn't feel like it? What tests? I will probably come up with some amalgam combined of many of the afore mentioned excuses. I will just wing it - I am better under pressure. Maybe religious objections or conflicts. Those are never questioned.

I have to try to get some sleep before my doctor's appointment or my excuse is going to be shoddy. While I sleep I am going to have visions of ballot-plums dancing in my head. I hope all of the Dix down in Dixville are wrong; could you imagine a tie? What happens then? Romney becomes Obama's Vice President because Obama is already President? Obama becomes Obama's Vice President because there is a Republican Congress? Do you like Kid Rock or Bruce Spingsteen better? Kid Rock is travelling with Romney and Springsteen is travelling with Obama. I would have imagined it opposite for some reason. I wanna know who Justin Bieber would travel with or is he Canadian? Okay, I am gonna sleep for a few hours and go to the doctor. Wish me luck (on the excuse). Thank you for stopping by and for stopping in regularly.  It looks like Wisconsin is leaning toward Obama...isn't Ryan from Wisconsin? ENOUGH!!!!! TTTT...MITM (the new podcast should be up by tomorrow, hopefully). TA! I will advise

What would you do if you had a FREE hour?

Tomorrow night Daylight Savings Time ends. I am not going to go off on my jag about how Daylight Savings Time is stupid. It was very healthy, wealthy and wise when Benjamin Franklin thought of it because farmers needed the extra daylight to plow their fields with oxen and horses but with the GPS systems in the air conditioned tractors with lights that could light up New York City we really don't need Daylight Savings Time anymore. I guess telling you that I wouldn't complain about it sorta complained about it huh? Anyway, tomorrow night / Sunday morningI have to work an extra hour because 2AM or 3AM or whatever hour we repeat happens twice. So, I get to work nine hours instead of eight but the great part is that I get an hour of overtime. Hey, why don't we send a bunch of combines to New York City to light it up? Nevermind, they wouldn't be able to fuel them up. I am trying to remember if I was ever working during the time change before and when I worked at the comedy club we were usually out of there by about 1:30AM so I don't think I have. When I work the Spring Ahead one do I only get to work 7 hours that night? I suppose so but then I am still ahead 1/2 hour's pay on the year right?

Have you seen all of the fight over fuel on the east coast? If this is any indication of what it's going to be like on December 22nd I am not really looking forward to it.

This feels like a Saturday. Fabio only had a half day of school for some reason or another and Cha Cha took a day off work. It seems like she is feeling better. I am still fighting the residual effects of this cold and she seems fine. I guess her taking a few days off of work to sleep and let the cold run it's course faster was wiser than me continuing to work and stay sick. So I get to use the phrase healthy, wealthy and wise again. Wealth in health and wisdom that is.

I heard that Montgomery Burns of The Simpsons is voting for Mitt Romney. Clint Eastwood, Lindsay Lohan, Meatloaf and Monty Burns. How can he lose with a stellar line-up like that? Meat Romney, LOL. I know you probably think I am making up the Mr. Burns endorsement so HERE IS THE VIDEO that proves it. Vote wisely on Tuesday Americans. Do the right thing Wisconsin, Ohio and which ever MIDDLE states are still swing states. Do the MIDDLEwest proud! What state do the Simpsons live in again?

I listened to the new Dirty Laundry Podcast last night and I am pretty happy with the way it turned out for two sick people doing it (the podcast that is). I was worried that it wasn't very good but it is pretty good. I am very excited to have filmmaker John Borowski back out to be on the show again this next week. If you are looking to camp-out for photos and autographs he will be here Sunday or you could just go to The House Cafe in Dekalb Sunday at 5PM and meet him and talk to him and watch his films. Check out the House's website...the John Borowski appearance is partially brought to you by Dirty Laundry Podcast - we're show promoters now too I guess...cool!

I think I am going to lie down a bit. I am gonna try Cha Cha's theory of resting to get rid of this cold. I always admit that she's smarter than me but then I forget it and she reminds me by her example. Have a great weekend; I doubt that I will blog again until Monday. If I do I will let you know. Thank you for stopping in and if I don't talk to you before the extra hour tomorrow night - use that extra hour to solve world hunger or cure a disease or something. I would but I will be working - it's all on you! TTTM?...MITM (gone) TA!

The Studio is Haunted - I Swear it is Haunted!!!!

Is this the wrong JCP?

When did J. C. Penny's come JCP? Does it have to do with the dumbing down of our society? Is it quicker to text? I know there has to be a reason but I cannot help but wonder what the reason is. Maybe business has gone up for Kentucky Fried Chicken when they became KFC and Penny's wants to try that same philosophy? Maybe I should always call this MITM instead of Matt In The Middle. 

It's November first so what's next Thanksgiving? And then Christmas. The year is almost gone. We only have about 52 days until December 22nd. I am not sure whether to not buy Christmas gifts this year because we will be gone by the 25th of spend all of my money buying really great gifts and giving them early because I won't need the money when we find the Mayans were right and I will be dead. Do you think this is a plot by retailers like JCP? I usually wait to do my shopping so maybe I will just wait until the 23rd when the end of the world sales begin.

I am tired of my laptop being a spy for advertisers. I trust my laptop to keep things she and I discuss privately but she has sold me out. I get ads linked to Words With Friends and Facebook...that are specific to places I have visited recently (Carbondale to look for vehicles for instance). I get pop-up ads from auto dealers in Carbondale, Illinois. I also got ads from Jimmy John's one night after I was looking at their menu to see what I wanted on my tuna sandwich. I know with the creation of the digital video recorder (DVR) that allows us to zip through commercials they have to find other ways to try to get our hard-earned money but this sucks. There are far more product placements in television shows and movies but that's fine with me. People would really drink Pepsi and eat Dorito's and drive Chevy's so throw those in the shows and movies but quit popping me up! It actually does just the opposite for me; it makes me resentful and not want to buy these products. So now I will drink Diet Coke and eat carrots and drive Fiat and Toyota.
I have to work on getting the podcast up again this morning. Hopefully, now that Halloween is over, the ghost in the machine is gone until next year. It's weird how the program was seeming to do whatever it wanted despite what I commanded it to do. Maybe the end of the world will be machines taking over and I am starting to get a small taste of it. Maybe computers are tired of getting "commanded" to do things. I am going to try to gently suggest things when I go to finish editing Dirty Laundry Podcast and see if that helps. Have a great day and hopefully I will have to podcast up this morning. Watch the Dirty Laundry Facebook page for updates. Wish me luck fight the evil spirits that wish to stop you pod-listening. Okay I went down and got the podcast uploaded and this is going to sound like a lie but I swear on the lives of everyone I love that this is true (I thought I was kidding about the spirits). I went back down to the studio and began the final edits of the show and while I was working on the edits the light bulb in the ceiling lamp directly above the desk/computer exploded and glass rained down on the keyboard. After that the editing went off without a hitch and I got the show edited and it is uploading now. I must admit that I was creeped-out to stay down there and finish but the pod must go on so I did. So, basically, the studio is haunted and next week I have filmmaker John Borowski on the show who makes documentaries about serial killers. It's a good thing that I love to podcast and now I know why nodody wants to be Cha Cha for a day next week. TTTT...with the grim grinning ghosts who seem to want to do more than socialize! now I have to replace a light bulb and clean up glass. Now I thought I heard an eery voice from the basement but it is the dog snoring in the other room (at least that is what I am gonna tell myself). See you on the other side. TA!