Free Works! (most of the time)

I have been a sports fan from even before I was born. I think I was supposed to be a Cubs' fan from some photos I see of myself uniformed as a baby but, luckily, somewhere I picked up an immunity to that virus and am not. I kid Cubs' fans and visa versa but I really do admire people who can stay faithful to teams that are perennial losers, in most cases, just because of proximity to that team or because they were broadcast on a "superstation.". Anyway, the reason I began this blogging diatribe; I cannot stand the major sports going to these rules that teams can challenge calls. I am speaking mainly of baseball and football. Being the suspicious cynic (and old crotchety poop) that I am I know it is so the teams can extend the games to sell more food and beverages and souvenirs at the games and so the networks can sell more food and beverages in the way of more advertising dollars to: Papa John's and Anheiser-Busch and Pepsi and Coca-Cola and McDonald's and Miller Brewing Company and Pizza Hut and Subway... not to mention all of the communication companies (Verizon, T-Mobile, AT&T....) and sports companies (Nike, Adidas, Dick's Sports...) and insurance companies (State Farm, Geico...) not to mention the networks advertising their shows - need I blog more? I would almost rather have every sport go to a pay-per-view forMATT. I would love the ability to pay to watch individual games of the St. Louis Cardinals whenever I have time. Or, even the option of choosing to pay for my favorite teams for even one season (season-by-season basis). Did I mention that the Cardinals are, once again, the National League Central champions? If they go the World Series this season I AM going one of the games again. I would say the 2006 World Series was easily the best ballgame I ever went to other than watching and/or coaching my kids when they were younger. For the stories and circumstances just as much as the game itself. With my DirecTV converter or, whatever that box is called these days, I think there is the capability to have at least 9,999 channels. There is probably LOTS more money available to the greedy with advertising money though. At least the Green Bay Packers have the name Green in their name. But, ironically, they are fan/share-holder owned. 360,584 people own the Packers (representing 5,011,557 shares). That means you know that big shots own about 4,500,000 of the shares but I still think that is pretty cool.

The new Dirty Laundry Podcast (free with only occasional phony bologna ads) is recorded and in the process of being edited. It is free at that link and also free on iTunes. I cannot say it will always be free because we never know what the future holds for us until it becomes the present but, we have no plans on charging for it in the foreseeable future. I see that we have received a lot of downloads from Bulgaria this week. I have to go down to the studio and see if there is a little pin in the map there. I am amazed that people find us and continue to listen to us all of the world. It truly is humbling and it drives us to keep going; we feel like we have an obligation to people I think. Free works (we are even Free to parts of the world that don't live free). I like to feel that we are pirate podcasters in the un-free parts of the world.

Don't make me go L.T. on yo ass

Work has been interesting this week (and it was only my second Wednesday last night). Your Friday, which was my pre-Monday, was the most exciting. The highlight of my night was when I actually ran-down a 19-year-old dude. I will pause there for a moment and let that one sink in --- a MIDDLE-aged, fat man running down a tall, seemingly well-conditioned 19-year-old and catching him.(insert interlude music here) For you youngsters out there, experience and sobriety trumps youth and stamina every time. Okay, at least this time. I was like a MIDDLE linebacker (pretty much Lawrence Taylor) - I played the angle. As it sits now, I am actually going to get my two regular nights off this week. And, with my Sergeant being off tonight and tomorrow night, there there is little chance of that not happening. We really take these little things for granted sometimes don't we?

The film Groundhog Day is on right now. I have an odd feeling that I have seen this movie before.

I am gonna end because I like to keep these short. I don't want reading to be a chore for anyone. I will let you know when the new show is ready and, I will blog again tomorrow. I cannot believe how excited I am that I have two days off this week and one of those will be spent watching the Cardinals neat the Dodgers. I am predicting a Cardinals-Angels World Series. Pujols coming back to play in St. Louis in October just seems to have baseball sentiment written all over it. Have a nice fall-feeling night tonight. Thanks a lot for stopping by. TTTT...MITM (out).

Are You Part of My 83%?

TV Trays are way better than husbands

I am not going to tell you where I am writing this but, though I am using what has been historically called a TV Tray, there is no television in this room. It is a shame that there isn't ordinarily televisions in this room because sometimes we spend an awful lot of time in here. Sometimes this room has been called the library yet there are no books in here either. The one thing we never really do in here is eat because you don't blog where you eat.

Yesterday I wrote that there was a 100% chance of rain in New York as was predicted by the National Weather Service. Technically, they were correct as there was .31 inch of rain. But, that was not enough to cancel the Yankees' game. Derek Jeter got to go out with a better bang (the drum slowly). Jeter drove in the winning run in the 9th inning in his last game played at Yankee Stadium. He also hit a nice double earlier in the game. It was nice to see him get a little chocked-up too; I thought he was a robot.

I was watching Dallas Buyer's Club and afterward a movie called Freeloaders came on. The film was stupid but I watched the entire thing while I did other things. I am referring to Freeloaders not Dallas Buyer's Club when I say it was stupid. The thing that intrigued me about Freeloaders is that it was centered around Adam Duritz's house. If you listen to Dirty Laundry Podcast, and I have written about it here too, he and I may share the same mental disorder. Cha Cha has another theory about what may be my milady now and we will probably talk about that on the new show (probably to be recorded today).

At the beginning of this past podcast we played a clip from South Park. I didn't realize, until the day after we posted  Load #162, that the clip hadn't even aired on the South Park yet. The following night the part that we had already aired appeared on South Park. I am waiting for a letter from Matt Stone and Trey Parker regarding this MATTer.

The work-week resumes again tonight. My normal Sunday (tonight) is once again being interrupted by mandatory voluntary overtime. Tonight is only five hours again but I will be compensated for 7.5 hours. Supposedly, this will be the last one for awhile. It was nice having two days in a row off this week (I took the vacation day to go to the ballgame).

I have lots to do today and it is already 0833 so, I had better wrap this up. I hope you have a great day and a great weekend if you are like 83% of the world and have Saturday and Sunday as your weekend. I made that figure up but I bet 83% is close. Thank you for taking the time to read the blog and listen to the show (you can actually listen to the show while you work or even read the blog). TTTMonday probably...MITM (out)

Throwback Blogday

A lot of changes in baseball have been good (Jackie Robinson / Ebbet's Field)

I am tired. I am not sure if I am bone tired or dog tired but, I am very tired. Maybe that is one bad thing about having two days off; when you only have one day off a week you don't have time to get tired because you are too tired to be tired. Last night I even dreamt. I very rarely remember dreams. How come spell-check doesn't think that dreamt is a word? So, not only does spell-check dumb us down by allowing us not to know how to spell, it also doesn't know when we use words that do exist. I think spell-check is run by ISIS or Al Qaeda or his sister Dorothy Qaeda. So, I have tonight off too (I used a vacation day to take last night off). Then, tomorrow, it is another overtime day. Seems like robbing Peter to pay Paul using a vacation day to take a vacation day and then working to earn another vacation day. It is the hamster wheel that "the woman" (or "the man" if you're sexist) keeps us walking.

Last night I used a vacation day (night) to go see the final game in Wrigley Field as we have known it since Babe Ruth played there. I am kind of happy that the Cubs won. I am a huge Cardinal's fan but, since the Pirates lost, it isn't that bad that the Cards lost too. I love history and it is sweet that the Cubs won the last time Wrigley Field isn't Jumbo-tron'd like the rest of the league. I have mixed feelings about the changing of Wrigley. I love the fact that, once you get inside and away from the Taco Bell and McDonald's right outside the gate, you are taken back to the early 1900's. I understand that the past always has to eventually give way to the present that becomes the future but, it is kind of sad. I was happy that my son and I could experience it one last time. I also think it kinda sucks that the people across the street, just past a long home run, get to charge people to watch the games. I guess it isn't much different than people watching the game between the bars of the fence back in the day. On the flip-side, I do watching instant replay and such on the huge televisions in the other ballparks. I have been to lots of upgraded MLB parks (Houston, Arlington, Baltimore, St. Louis, Cleveland, U.S. Cellular (Chicago), Toronto, Philadelphia, Milwaukee, Washington...) and I enjoy all of the amenities and comforts but there was something cool about going to Yankee Stadium, Shea Stadium and Wrigley Field. It is ironic, in a way, that they tear down the old parks and build new ones to look like the old parks (Baltimore really comes to mind). On another baseball history note - tonight is supposed to be Derek Jeter's final game at Yankee Stadium. However, there is 100% chance of rain there tonight and the Yankees are not in contention for the post season so the game may be canceled and his last at bat may have been last night's check-swing ground-out to first base. History can be so very fickle.

We were surrounded by people from Australia at the game last night. It was fun listening to them talk about the game and how our money is so different than there's... The little girl behind me mentioned that in Australia her pockets are always so heavy with the coins. I wish I had thought about it last night but, I have lots of money from around the world just because I think the money is cool, I should have asked them to swap me some of their Australian money for some of my American money.

I think we are going to record the new Dirty Laundry Podcast tonight. It really depends on Cha Cha. She is working on a huge project for her work and it is due tomorrow. The paying gigs have to take priority over our hobby. A hobby that just happens to entertain the entire world. You're welcome world!

Have a great night; I hope everything is good in your life. I am fairly certain I will be able to blog again tomorrow. Thank you a lot for being here. TTTT...MITM (out)

Welcome to Living Blogland

I have landed on Living Island (giant 'shrooms)

England calls in Scotland Yard when they need some expert assistance. Does Scotland use Scotland Yard too or do they call in England Yard or Ireland Yard to help? Or do they still use Scotland Yard and just call it Yard? Is Scotland Yard like calling in the FBI or the CIA or something? I have always just accepted this as part of the process when watching films. I know they are real because they were involved in the whole Jack The Ripper deal.

Last night at work I was doing some foot patrol and I saw what looked like two white miniature bowling balls. Not very miniature because they were nearly as big as my size 10 1/2 bowling shoes work boots. I wasn't sure what they were at first because they looked like huge Styrofoam balls. I reached down and touched them and they felt mushroomy and they were definitely "attached" to the ground.I don't care for mushrooms other than in Super Mario Brothers. It was like I landed on Living Island (H.R. Pufnstuf)

 By my size 10 1/2 work boot to show 'shroom size

The new Load Dirty Laundry Podcast is up. The shows must be good because even Cha Cha is listening to the show now. She says that we are delightful.Just click that Red, White and Blue link there or get it free on iTunes ("dirty laundry podcast"). 

So, now I have to work more overtime at work. I have to work this Friday and next Friday. I know I bitch about it but I have learned, from this week's podcast, that I am a hoarder and this is like hoarding COMP time. However, I am taking a vacation day Wednesday (I guess that is tomorrow isn't it?) to go see the Cardinals game in Chicago. I am not sure if they could MATTematically clinch the National League Central that night but that would be cool. They are already guaranteed a play-off spot but it would be nice to win the division and not have to deal with extra games as a wild card team. It's weird that the game tonight is on WCIU. The Cubs not on WGN seems to be like a crime to me. So, this week, I do get two days in a row off (Wednesday and Thursday). I had requested to have off October 11th and 12th to go down and see Splenda but those days were denied. That is one of our busiest weekends of the year and, since I am so vital and essential to the organization, they cannot survive that time without me. I was going to switch it to the following weekend but Splenda cannot get off work that weekend. So, Cha Cha is going all by herself. I told her to take the train and relax and drink and Wifi and meet some amazing man... 

It is 1551 already. The days go by so quickly when you sleep until noon, edit a podcast and then have to figure out dinner and then sleep before going back to work at 2200. I am thinking, since Cha Cha is at class tonight (DePaul) we may do WingStop or Subway. There is not enough time for B-Dubs (Buffalo Wild Wings). Maybe Chiplotle? Editing the show really wipes me out.

Buffalo Wild Wings is better but this is quick

We talk a little about my self-diagnosed mental disorder but, Cha Cha has another theory that makes a lot of sense too. No, it does not have anything to do with me being too sexy as you might believe. I am going to explore this one a little. I think we will talk about it on next week's show. The new show is not up for 20 minutes and I am already worried about next week's show. You're only as good as your last show I guess.

I have to end so we can get dinner and I can sleep. Have a great night (hey, this is my Friday this week I guess). Thank you for stopping by - I really, really, really do appreciate you. I will be able to blog tomorrow because I will not be editing a show and I am off work to go to Chicago. Lucky for you! TTTT...MITM (out) ;)

Being Crazy is Scary. I Do Like the Idea of a Boobie Hatch Though

Last night was a good night to have off work. The St. Louis Cardinals went extra innings against the Brewers and won in 13 innings AND it was on one of the ESPNs. I guess it would be ESPN The Nueve since it was on channel 209. The game ended at about midnight. Their magic number is now eight (The Ocho). I don't really care about that stuff. They WILL make the play-offs so I don't really need all of the hype built by THE MAN. I am excited about baseball and don't need their lame-o help.

Today 'tis Talk Like a Pirate Day. It seems more like it's Facebook Post Like a Pirate Day than TALK like one. Other than in pirate films and Pirates of Penzance and Dodgeball I don't think we actually hear people talk like a pirate today do we? I must admit that I have "ARRRRRRRR" running through my head though. That's me though - I am as simple-minded as a rum-soaked pirate. I am surprised that there aren't a bunch of pirate movies on today; that seems to be the modes operandi of a lot of the networks these days.

Ha, I just thought about the National League Central - I hope the landlubbin, hornswagglin,' sons-of-biscuit eatin' Pittsburgh Pirates walk the plank soon and spend the rest of the season in Davey Jones' locker like the shark bait that they aRRRRRRRe.

Remember several weeks ago when I told you about my malady where I would all of a sudden feel like I have jumped into someone else's mind/life (most recently Mickey Dolenz)? Well, it just happened again right now. This time I transported into Kevin Kline's mind/body/life...whatever. On Talk Like a Pirate Day I become the man who played Douglas Fairbanks in Chaplin who played pirates in many of his films.

He does look quite a bit like Sideshow Bob

It is now ten minutes later and it just happened again. Cha Cha witnessed this one. I didn't transport into somebody else's body/mind this time. I just felt like I was going to puke and I had a weird smell/feeling in my nose. Oddly, Cha Cha and I were watching television (me blogging and she having her morning cup of joe) and there was a story about Adam Duritz' (most famously known as the lead man of Counting Crows) having something called Depersonalization Disorder. He says it is "hard to explain, but you feel untethered. And because nothing seems real, it’s hard to connect with the world or the people in it because they’re not there. You’re not there." So, now I have been reading a lot about this and it sounds like what this may be. Isn't that how it always works though? You read something or hear something and then you are convinced that you have that thing? So, now, I think I may be bordering on crazy. I suppose I have always been walking that thin line though. If I become a Cubs' fan we'll know that I am crackers. If I am crazy the blog and Dirty Laundry Podcast will surely both get a lot more entertaining. Isn't this the point where I am supposed to hire a personal assistant and get handicapped plates or something? In all seriousness, I should probably go see someone who knows something about this stuff. This really would explain a lot. Maybe "jumping" into these other people's bodies is early schizophrenia? I could really have some fun with that one. Duritz says, "being crazy is scary." I would say that even the thought that I may be crazy is a little scary. Maybe it's just an allergy? Maybe I am just sleepy. I knew I shouldn't have eaten that blowfish/puffer fish/jelly fish sushi but it was so delicious

Well, I am going to go and walk around the neighborhood naked now. Thanks for being here in the early to MIDDLE stages of my dementia. I expect readership will go up considerably as I get loonier and toonier and you can say, "I read the blog when I just thought he was crazy but now I feel bad because he actually IS crazy." Have a great Friday while I am raking-in the OT tonight. I may blog tomorrow but, I probably won't know the difference anyway. TTT?...MITM (bonkers) OUT!

MITM: An Intimate Blogstory

It is much later than I usually blog but I wrote TTTT yesterday and "today" is the fourth T so here I blog. I would have blogged earlier but today, being my only day off this week, I was pretty busy. I did quite a few of my manly duties: grocery shopping, doing the laundry, cleaning the kitchen (dishes...), making dinner, cleaning the kitchen again... Now my back hurts; I guess housework IS, in fact, back-breaking work. So now I am sitting in a wingback chair with my feet up on a hassock watching the PBS documentary The Roosevelts: An Intimate History.I think that this Ken Burns fellow may have a good career ahead of him. Now that I think about it my feet may just be up on a footstool but for some reason hassock came to mind. My grandma used to call footstools hassocks. I am sure there are differences between footstools and hassocks but hassock is more fun to say. Anyway, I have always been a big fan of the Roosevelts: Eleanor, Franklin and Teddy. I have read several biographies about Theodore. It is funny how the show just mentioned that people only got one day off and I constantly whine about having only one day off when, in my case, I am getting paid time-and-a-half for those hours and these people were probably making pennies. We are such pansies these days (when I say "we" I am referring to me).

The new load of Dirty Laundry Podcast is in the works and should be up by Monday (my guess is by Saturday but I will give myself a few days cushion). Saturday will be a week since the last show was uploaded so, I am now shooting for Saturday, Now, to complete the picture of my wingback chair scene, Jeff is lying at my feet. The only thing missing are a pipe, a bearskin rug and a fire in the fireplace. Incidentally, we do not have a fireplace; we decided against one in this house. We had one in the old house but they are more trouble than they are worth though they were pretty standard days of the Roosevelts. Now we have a fire pit on the back yard - far less trouble and potential problems.

Me at Wrigley Field

Fabio and I are going to the St. Louis Cardinals game at Wrigley Field on Wednesday. I am going to use some of the time that I have earned from all of my overtime. From what I can tell we are eight rows off the field down the third base line. Weird thing is that I also got offered some tickets for Tuesday's Cardinals game at Wrigley Field a couple of days ago too. I actually had to turn those tickets down; I don't want to take two days off. Cha Cha's sister apparently won tickets and some kind of a parking pass and she cannot or doesn't want to go. It was nice of her to offer. If I weren't already going on Wednesday I would probably have taken those tickets. Even if it had been a day game I may have considered going and then toughed-out work that night (and the night before). Actually, now that I write that, I don't think I would have done that either. You watch, something historic will happen that night and I will kick myself for not taking the other day off too.

I am really sleepy and I get to sleep real hours tonight so I am going to bed. Maybe I am being stupid and I should just stay up my "regular" hours tonight since I work tomorrow night but I don't want too (I am sleepy). I hope you have a great Friday tomorrow (today if you're reading this tomorrow which today now for you). Thank you for coming by - I will probably blog tomorrow (or today if you're reading this tomorrow which is now today) while editing the show. TTTT (which may now be today?)... MITM (zzzzzzzzout)

People Are Funny (and some aren't)

I have the urge and feel the need to write but I have very little on my mind. That is not true. We all have hundreds or thousands of things on our minds all of the time but I am not thinking of anything that most people would be interested in reading about. I am tired of blogging about work but, when that is the thing that occupies most of our waking time, what else have we? I suppose that is why, when we meet somebody for the first time, we ask, "so, what do you do for a living?" It used to toast Cha Cha's sandwiches when people would ask me what I did for a living and they would not ask her. She was right; in these times why, when everybody seems to have to work, why do the men always get asked what they do for a living and the women seldom do? Is it just sexist tradition from back when most women stayed home running the house and taking care of the family? The most important jobs of all!

The actual letter that assumes me a moron

Tomorrow is my one day off this week. See, I am talking about work. Actually, now that I blog about it, I am talking about the one day that I am not working. See, I am making strides for all womankind!

We got some interesting mail yesterday. We received a letter (addressed from Schaumburg, IL) from a Toyota dealer here in Dekalb. How does that work? I usually throw most pieces of junk mail away without even opening them; in the recycling bin, of course. I am at the point that I even throw away every catalog that comes in. With the internet why do we need to continue killing so many trees? If I want to buy something I know where to find it! Anyway, it said something about buying our Fiat. We bought the Fiat in Schaumburg and we bought our Toyota 4Runner here in Dekalb so I was intrigued. I knew, even without reading it, that it benefits somebody else much more than it benefits us - no MATTer what they try to tell me. It looks like an internal memo that they mailed to us - complete with a yellow Post-It note with printed words to make it look like it was hand-written. They want to give us $11,421 for the Fiat even though, the memo states, it's only worth $9,910. They want it so badly that we had better act by September 30th "before the value drops." I have rarely seen internal memos that include the registered trademark symbol and disclaimers at the bottom. And, then there is an advertisement for the 2014 Camry. Aren't the 2015's or maybe even the 2016's already out? They are trying to rip us off by stealing our car to sell their overstock so they can make room for the new cars. I am just basing all of this on my suspicious nature but I would bet my useless testicles that I am correct.

I should go get my little notebook where I write things that come into my mind. I know I wrote a couple of things in there last night but I don't remember if they are intended for Dirty Laundry Podcast, Matt In The Middle or just invention ideas or reminders to pay bills or sell cars to shysters. Why is it spelled "shyster" when it is from the German word "sheisser" which means "one that defecates." Yes, you guessed it, sheisse is shit! Shouldn't it me sheisster?

Okay, one of the notes would be good for here. Last night I was sitting at a light that had just turned green and I realized that I am a cross walk profiler. I can usually tell, simply by looking at people, how they will walk across the street. I am not talking about their strides but, rather, their paces. Many of these youngsters these days (that was written in my old, shaky man voice) do not care about anybody but themselves. I can come up to a stale green light and people will just walk like turtles. They are technically jaywalking and they have the nerve to look at me with the F-U face. I am one of those guys who will pick up my pace to get out of your way. I am more concerned with strangers than I am with myself; I am starting to believe that maybe I am the dumb one. I don't blare my music at full volume in a crowded elevator unless I have earbuds in my ear holes. I hold the door for people - no MATTer of gender or age or ethnic make-up. I am officially a crotchety old man. I suppose that began three days ago.

I am going to go do some laundry. Thank you for coming by and, of course, for listening to the podcast. We will be recording another new show tomorrow night. I am always in a better mood on Wednesday nights even if there is only one day-off following it. Have a great night. TTTT...MITM (out).