No Blog Today - April Fools!

I pity the April Fools that miss Dirty Laundry Podcast

It's April Fool's Day. That's amateur night. This is the day when people expect it; do it when people don't
expect it. I think people like to lie this day because they are immediately absolved. It looked like the weather was getting better and then April Fool's Day - coincidence? Mother Nature, you're a hack!

I finally got the new Dirty Laundry Podcast up today. It is the final load in season #2 (Load #105). Now, tomorrow or Wednesday we will begin season #3. Who knew it would last this long? As long as we continue to have fun doing the show we will continue to do it. I don't foresee it ever ending. If you haven't listened yet you are really missing out.

Thankfully tonight is my Friday. I am tired and I could use a day or two to rest. Cha Cha and my 25th wedding anniversary is in 29 days. I was gonna say that I think I will surprise her and take the night off but it is on a Tuesday which just happens to be my Saturday. Now I just have to figure out something nice to do for the big 25. I just made the big 25 a BIG 25. Any suggestions would be welcomed. I know she'd like to see The Book of Mormon again. I would too especially since I missed about 20-30 minutes parking the car and walking from the parking garage to the theater. Maybe a show, dinner and stay in the city? It makes it so easy that she doesn't read this blog. Why does she need to read it when she won the husband lottery and she lives it?

Oh yeah, Barack tells me all of the country's secrets little dude!

So are gonna go to war with North Korea or what? Are they insane? I suppose they said that when we took on England for our independence too but times have changed since the late 1770's. That's probably something they said too - "times have changed since the 1500's." I think Dennis Rodman is really shirking his responsibilities as Kim Jong Un's best friend and our chief North Korean negotiator and diploMATT. I think his friendship isn't as strong as he thought it was. This is why we don't tell national secrets to Dennis Rodman.

I just got dressed to go to the store. I was in sweatpants and now I am not. Then I have to go get Fabio from tennis practice. I will be back in about a half-hour but you won't even know I was gone unless I die or something but then maybe you'll never see this because it didn't get posted. If someone sees this on my laptop and I am dead just hit that orange "publish" tab at the top of this page and it will creep everybody out though they won't believe it because I died on April Fool's Day even though that would make sense. Maybe I will be back or maybe I will die - isn't that always the case? I guess there are a few more options but those are the biggies!

I am alive (April Fools). April Fools about that April Fools! I got Fabio and went to the store and just made dinner and now I am gonna wrap this up so I can eat and maybe get a few winks. It is actually pretty chilly out. I changed into jeans but I went commando and jeans are not as warm as I would have thought for this form or dress. Oh well, Thanks a lot for stopping-in and for listening to the podcast. I will blog again tomorrow because I will have more time then. Have a great night and just think warm thoughts. TTTT...MITM (I'll be back - spoken in Commando Schwarzenegger voice) TA! 

The Fridge, War & Discouragement - Sweet!

Our New Fridge / Home Security System

I am just hanging out waiting for the new refrigerator to be delivered. They said between 07:00 and noon and
 it is 09:39 now so I am just past half-time in the waiting game. I got all of the stuff transferred to the garage fridge and I unplugged the defunct one and pulled it out. It is amazing how gross it gets under your refrigerator after nine years. So, I cleaned that mess up too. The fridge was originally supposed to have been delivered yesterday but I had to reschedule so I could accompany Cha Cha to Chicago to see her off at the airport and return to pick her up at the airport eight hours later.

I am either getting sick or fighting for the right not to be sick but my body is sore and my nose is stuffed-up and I am pretty much wiped-out. I do not have a headache which is nice. I hate having headaches. Do you think I am alone in that hatred? I am starting to get a headache just wondering if other people dislike headaches. Sneaky - the mind creating it's own headaches so it has something to do.

We have not recorded this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast yet. It has been a little busy the last couple of days. I am not sure when we will get it done but it will be within the next day or two. I have a bunch of stuff to talk about but I am rarely at a loss for things to talk about on the podcast. It sort of just snowballs.

I cannot believe that we are sending nuclear-capable stealth bombers to North Korea. I sure hope that Dennis Rodman gets this all straightened out before we head toward nuclear war with a country with short-country complex. Maybe Kim Jong Un felt like he was being taunted when the Harlem Globetrotters and former NBA players (with Dennis Rodman) went over there. They were rubbing Kim Jong Un's nose in his minuscule stature. It seems apparent that eventually we will have another third world war; we just cannot all get along on this planet. We cannot even all get along in this country or in this city or sometimes within our own homes. I never thought I would be alive during a world-wide conflict. What would I do if we had world war? I am too old to fight. Plus that missing big toe deal makes me 4F. Would I have to be a George Bailey and collect rubber and do can drives and sell war bonds? Would I be part of the militia to protect my town and sound the air-raid sirens now and then? I am seriously wondering now what would happen were we to go to war. Fabio is only 16 but in two years, because we know world wars always last for years and years, he'd have to go and fight. And Splenda is already 21 and they are talking about women having to begin registering for the Selective Service (draft). Come on Rodman get this under control already - DO YOUR JOB! Maybe the North Koreans think we are all like Dennis and that's why they decided to elevate this conflict. Boy, are they in for a surprise.

The ugly truth of fridge death camps

The refrigerator is here and I helped the guy bring it in and I washed the new one out and plugged it in after the recommended 20 minutes so the thing could settle from whatever kind of jet lag a refrigerator gets during travel. By the time I had it wiped out and all of the stuff transferred from the garage fridge to its new home it was ready to turn on. I like the new one better. I can safely say that now that the old one was strapped down and taken away in a dark trailer wherever old refrigerators go when they retire. I am better off not knowing this because I am a bleeding-heart and would probably go there and try to liberate all of them. I just have to tell myself that our old Samsung will meet some new friends. I hope there isn't a language barrier between our Japanese refrigerator and some of those Amish -speaking Amanas. I tipped the guy ten bucks but after he left I thought, "hey, I did at least half of the work hauling it in and then I had to clean out the new one and take off all of the blue tape and the plastic film and stock the new one and all he had to do was haul the old one away which he will probably get some cash for at the recycling place." Maybe he should have tipped me too? Karma will pay me back one of these days.

When I was in Chicago yesterday killing time I went to the Art Museum. I touched on it in yesterday's quick blog but I didn't talk about some of the things I did like. I will probably repeat myself if we ever record the podcast but I did like all of the suits of armor, I liked a few of the pieces in the Americana section of the museum and there were a few others here and there but for the most part I think I may be a dogs playing poker kind of art appreciator. I wish I had decided to walk to the Field Museum instead. I like dinosaurs and shrunken heads. I have always loved the Field Museum and the Museum of Science and Industry. I have never been to The Museum of Broadcast History which I have always found ironic given my education and hobbies. There were A LOT of interesting people at the Art Museum though. People are always fun to watch and listen to. I am sure the same has been said about people watching me.

Remember I told you that I gave Cha Cha my earbuds when I dropped her off at the airport yesterday? The earbuds would have made my day much more enjoyable but I am a giver. When I picked her up at the airport she told me how she didn't even use them even though she asked me to borrow them. So, when we got home she took a nap because of all of her jet-setting and I went into her purse to get my earbuds back. As I was fishing around her cavernous purse I came upon my earbuds in a side pocket. "Earbuds (8-ball) in the side pocket." Guess what I found under my earbuds in her purse? Guess! I found her earbuds right under my earbuds. She had two pair of earbuds and did not use either of them while I was left budless! Should that have been pairs of earbuds since one set of earbuds is considered a pair? I think it should have been pairs of earbuds not pair of earbuds.

I have to get some laundry done as well as many other household chores from being out of commission in the big city for a couple of days. Also today is my Monday so I have to get my work face on. I will most likely blog again tomorrow and I will let you know when the new podcast is ready to go. For some reason a feeling of discouragement just came over me like a black fog. That was weird. It was just a feeling that seemed to cover me like a black cloud. I think it is gone and was only here for a moment but maybe it is still here and my body just took it on or there is a battle going on without my being aware of it? Time will tell. If
there is evil afoot it will make for better blogging and podcasting in the nest few days. Wish me luck!

Well, that winds up today's Pass the Biscuits Pappy O'Daniel Flour Hour. I thank you for stopping by and I wish you a nice rest of your day and night. The weather seems to be headed the right way in the MIDDLEwest so let's hope she stays on course. TTTT...MITM (out!) TA

Picasso was a Hack!

I am just hanging in the old Morton Salt Building on Printer's Row in Chicago. If I am on Printer's Row I have to blog right? I drove Cha Cha to the airport this his morning at 05:00 and she will be back in town from Detroit in about two hours (15:00). I just spoke to her and they are boarding the plane right now. I got a late check-out and don't have to leave here until 14:00 but it only takes about 15 minutes to get to the airport. It may take longer than it did this morning because the city is awake now. There was nobody on the streets at 5AM. I see why films shoot in the MIDDLE of the night when they film in this city.
have to write a blog right? The building is now the Wydham hotel. It is on the National Registry of Historic Places.

I just heard that Justin Bieber may be in trouble. He got his new sports car delivered to his home and then
was speeding all over his neighborhood (said to have been over 100 miles per hour through  his subdivision). One of his neighbors went to Biebers' home and to tell him to slow down and Biebs told him to get the F off his property and he spat in his face. That is assault my legal-aged young man. I am sure he will be able to buy his way out of whatever problem that will arise.

I walked up to Michigan Avenue and decided to go to the Art Museum. I got there at 10:30 and apparently that is when it opens because there was a huge line there. We used to be members of the Art Museum but no longer are so I had to wait in line with the common folk. The line moved very quickly. I really missed my earbuds though. I love walking around the city listening to my music but Cha Cha did not have her earbuds and she was flying, which she hates (unlike me who LOVES flying), so I sent my earbuds to Detroit with her. I always want others to be happy before me and I hate that about myself. "You know that ain't ever gonna change." I hear a siren outside - that happens constantly downtown here - it's kinda cool. I doubt it is very cool for whoever is at the receiving end of the sirens. Anyway, I spent a couple of hours in the museum and will probably blog more about it later but it is a little after 13:00 and I have to get out of Dodge by 14:00. I will call for the Fiat to be brought up front in about 40 minutes. The true art of the Art Museum for me is watching the people. I like some of the art but there is a Picasso exhibit there and I don't get that dude at all. Isn't he the one who cut off his ear or was that Van Gogh? I am pretty sure that was Vince now that I blog about it. American Gothic was cool and I love the suits or armor. Again I will go though my notes in the next blog and tell you some of my Picasso-esque observations. That is to say my distorted views because he has all of those distorted paintings of the messed-up faces. I think some people say they like things just because they think they are supposed to like them. We are all different and we all like different things. I think Picasso was a hack! He was probably good at public relations of he was related to somebody in the business.

I don' t get Picasso. I am the only honest one!

I shouldn't have started to blog when I knew I was not going to have a lot of time. Cha Cha called me right after I stated so now I have to finish eve if it is brief.

Fabio is at his very first tennis meet right now and I feel bad I am missing it. He is probably relieved that I am not there. I don't think he really cares if I am there or not but I have always liked to be supportive. Most of the time coaching both he and Splenda when they were young.

Anyway, I don't have time to proofread this though I usually just skim anyway so I apologize for any typos. I will blog again tomorrow and we may actually have time to record the podcast tonight? If we do I will have it uploaded in the next day or two. Hopefully I will have my earbuds back by then so I can listen to my own golden voice. Have a great rest of your day and night. TTTT...MITM (rushing to get checked OUT) TA!

This blog may not even be coherent but you at least know I am alive - in case I die on the way home. RIP me! TA again!

Pigs and Hogs and Mice

Tourism leads to violence?

It's Friday for me WOO HOO.

I don't know how much I can say about what is going on but I have to say I am extremely proud of Cha Cha. There will be more on this soon though. And how exciting for her to get to fly to Detroit. I told her while she is there she should try to get to Flint. She was in St. Louis a couple of weeks ago and going to Detroit now. That is two of the top three most violent cities in the U.S. of America and Flint would complete the trifecta. I think Flint may be considered part of Detroit's statistics to help propel them to the top. So, Oakland squeaks in at number three.

I am not really sure when we are going to be able to record the podcast this week. It will happen but I am not really sure when given that we (the royal "we") are jet-setters now and that makes recording a bit difficult. We know you will have withdrawals without your Dirty Laundry Podcast so we will make something happen.

Hey, this Spring thing is really working out for us. It's almost 39 degrees today. We're hearing a lot of bad-mouthing about the poor groundhog. Punxutawney Phil never asked to be yanked out of his hole and paraded around like the prize pig at the fair. Have you ever seen how miserable he looks? Who decided this is the way we should predict the weather? Now we want to string him up because of our warming the Earth and changing the weather. Groundhogs don't throw their plastics in the waterways. And, though their fur looks really nice most of the time I am sure they do not use aerosol hairsprays. Leave the damn hogs alone. Oh, ground HOG and prize PIG - coincidence? Maybe I am wrong. Maybe it is the ground pig's fault. Let's string him up!!!

Now she is Old Hag Minnie

As long as I am blogging field animals let me transition to mice. What in the hell is up with Minnie Mouse's new outfit? This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. Walt Disney has to be rolling over in his cryogenic chamber on Pluto right now (of course he is on Pluto where else would he be?). I am Mr. Blackwell, except for the obvious similarities, but polka dots never go out. Not to mention that Walt Disney was the person who designed Minnie's outfit and I think he seems to have had some sort of idea of his vision. It's the same thing that has happened to George Lucas over the years. People have always told him that his stories should have gone "this way" not the way he wrote them. These were his vision! If you were so smart why didn't you make these films? Another coincidence for today - the merging of Lucas and Disney (weird!).  She looks like Zsa Zsa GaMouse. Sounds like this new outfit is only for formal events and she may keep the old outfit for every day but that is how it starts. In a year or two the polka dots will be gone and they will have horn-swaggled us again. This is what they do all the time and we just keep letting it happen.  She looks like an old lady. Maybe she should wear curlers and bedroom slippers?

That idiot Jesse James just got married. I give it 20 months. I know I am going out on a limb but Sandra Bullock is better. They both have kids from previously relationships and have both been around the block several times but I am sure this one will stick. Four marriages may be the charm Jesse. I hope there are new matching tattoos in their futures. Nothing says love like matching hepatitis.

We went out a bought a new Fridge yesterday. It only cost $1000 but we get a $75 rebate so that's like money in our pocket. That $75 will come in handy to replace some of the things we threw out when the other fridge crapped-out. Now that I think about it the delivery charge is $49 - damn it! I have been had again. Pretty soon I will be Matt in the poorhouse. I will be looking up at the MIDDLE.

Detroit? Another coincidence?

I am so happy that I am a flexible person. I have always been pretty much a spur-of-the-moment, go-with-the-flow kinda guy. This week all of that is going to come in handy. I think I may have missed my calling. I would have made a really good spy because of the these attributes and my natural nosiness. Maybe I should start my own Pie company. I think I'd be a good Pie! Mattgum Pie! P.I.E. = Private Investigation Endeavor. Private Investigation Enterprises. I have to work on that. Who wants to team-up?

Obviously I am just trying to stretch this blog out. I apologize. Have a great night. Thank you for stopping in. I am sure I will blog tomorrow and Wednesday I may blog twice. I have never done that but I may do it just to do it now that I think about it. I am hearing Matt Damon doing a commercial for TV Ameritrade on the television. I am sure happy he finally found some work. This drives me crazy as I have said here and on the podcast but then I mentioned their company in my blog because they use a mega-celebrity so who is the dummy? No answer needed there. Have a great night and I will hit you sometime tomorrow. TTTT...MITM (out - or am I? that's my PIE practice) TA!

Power Ball-less Wonder!

The Bates Home

Happened in on the start of Bates Motel. It is a replay of the premier episode. I immediately recognized the kid that plays Norman Bates. I could tell by his mouth who the actor is. I knew right away that he is the kid that played Charlie Bucket in Charlie and the Chocolate. You know, the one with Johnny Depp. I IMDb'd it and I was correct. I have always been good at recognizing people like this. I think I may have missed my calling as a police profiler or maybe a sketch artist. I cannot draw well so maybe the sketch artist part would not have been a good idea. I have a very analytically mind and I am nosy so a profiler would have been good. The mom (Mrs. Bates) is from the movie The Departed in case you're keeping score at home (she played the shrink). I bet she winds-up dead at some point. I just found out that Norman Bates' mom's name is Norma Bates (weird). I had no interest in watching this show but now I am hooked and the season pass is set up on the DVR. It's pretty good. I remember as a kid going to Universal Studios Hollywood and seeing the Bates' house up on the hill. It was near the parting of the Red Sea and just next to the foam boulders roaring down the hill at our tram. That was a fun trip.

Fabio and I just got back from playing tennis. We just hit the ball for a while and then we played one set. He won the set 7 games to 6. I had a great time on this nice Spring day. It was in the mid-40's unlike me who is slightly past that mid-way point. It's funny how mid-40's feels warm today but in June if that is what we get we are freezing. I have a few aches but nothing major. There is one muscle above my left ankle, on the outside of the leg, that aches a bit and I bet my back will hurt some tomorrow morning. Other than that it's all good.

Reg announcing the bounty on Tim McCracken

Between games we would gather the balls and I felt like Paul Crewe. The Burt Reynolds Paul Crewe not the Adam Sandler Paul Crewe. Though Reynolds was Nate Scarborough when Sandler was Crewe which even confuses me more. At the end of The Longest Yard, I am sure this will not be a spoiler for a movie from 1974, when he goes to pick up the game ball I had that scene running through my head. I always have film scenes in my noodle. When I am about five hours from going to work and I haven't slept much and I want to get a few hours or minutes of sleep I always feel like Reg Dunlop right after he puts the bounty on Tim "Dr. Hook" McCracken's head - "he's the coach and chief punk on that Syracuse team." I seriously think that every time I lie there trying to force myself to sleep.

I just intended to sit here for a few minutes and write a few lines for the blog I would write tomorrow so I wouldn't forget some of these thoughts and now it is almost an entire blog so I may as well keep going to make it a complete blog before I go try to Reg Dunlop it for a bit. I am almost past the point where it would be helpful to try to sleep though. WWRDD? He would sleep even if it were for a few moments I think.

I just heard of what is probably the most boring lunch ever. The new Pope and the last Pope had lunch together today. I cannot imagine the boring conversation that goes on at this lunch. I also just found out that nobody won the Powerball this past week and the drawing is again tonight. It starts at $320,000,000. Maybe I should head over to the store and plop down some cash so it can be worth more for whoever wins it. I am going to go to the store real quick and get a couple of Powerball tickets and pickup a few groceries and then come back and get some shut-eye (maybe 20 winks). I may or may not blog again tomorwo but I suppose that is always the case isn't it? Have a great rest of your weekend and thank you for settin' a spell. TTTT or M...MITM (soon to be rich and able to play someone to sleep for me) TA!

Maybe You Need a Refresher Blog!

It's the Fetzer Valve alright!

Who did college basketball horn-swaggle everybody into thinking that the NCAA Tournament is such a big deal. They pretty much take-over television by either having their games on every channel or by making all of the channels that are not showing games show re-runs. One thing I have always admired about shows like Survivor is that they don't buckle to this pressure. They continue to show their show and people seem to continue to watch it. Why was the DVR invented if not for times like these?

The refrigerator repair guy was just here and it is a condenser and possibly some of the other related components. It would cost at least $600-$700 to get the thing fixed. We may as well go and get a new refrigerator at this point. It was time to clean this one out anyway so I don't have to worry about that crappy chore. Our refrigerator needs have changed in the last seven years so now we can get one that fits out new refrigerator lifestyles. He was here for about ten minutes and it cost $40. He only charged me for "half of a service call." One other nice thing is that now I can go back to sleep once I wash the dishes (or put the ones in the dishwasher away and swap the dirty ones for their friends in the sauna). I was hoping it was gonna be just a Fetzer Valve or the ball bearings. What happened to "it's all ball bearings these days?" Maybe this guy needs a refresher course.

The refrigerator repairman looked very familiar

Last night I came face-to-faces with three deer. I walked out of a building at about 23:15 and there were three deer frozen like statues staring at me. There were no antlers or horns or a rack or whatever people who know what those things are called call them. I took my flashlight and shined it on them and then waved it  so the light went to my left find of like one of those dudes with those orange-nippled lights do when you are taxiing on a runway. The dear actually slowly went toward where I waved them to go. I slowly walked the other direction (to my right) and there was a mutual understanding. I am The Deer Whisperer. or maybe The Deer Flashlighterer. They were beautiful. I am thankful they weren't coyotes or wolves or something because I don't think I am quite at that skill-level of flashlighting. I would have been The Coyote Dinnerer instead of the whisperer I fear. Maybe not. I don't really have fear of animals and I mean them no harm; I love all animals and wouldn't kill any of them unless it were me or them I suppose. I hope I never have to make that decision. (Hey spell-check I realize: flashlighterer, flashlighting and dinnerer are not words so quit yelling at me with the red squiggles. Blogging gives me poetic license to make things up so get off my case!)

The best part of the refrigerator dude being gone is that now I am comfortably home alone and back in my boxers. Sorry for the painful mental picture but that blog will get better now that I am more comfortable. Maybe we should start blogging in our jammies? I wonder if guests would come over in their jammies to be on the show? Oh yeah, the new Dirty Laundry Podcast is up. I don't know how we keep stumbling into great music but we have another great song that you will not hear anywhere else; at least not yet. We also have one of the funniest commercials that I have ever heard. My opinion of funny isn't always the same as other people's. I know if my mom listened to the podcast after she heard this commercial she'd say "MATTHEW!" But mom, it's a real commercial. We may have something really exciting to announce soon; our Art Director is working on something very exciting. It may take awhile or nothing may come of it but I am excited.

I DVR'd the film Manhunter (1986) and am watching it while I blog. I have seen it a couple of times before but it has been awhile. It is really weird seeing somebody else portraying Hannibal Lecter. Anthony Hopkins was amazing as Lecter; easily one of the top-ten movie character portrayals of all time. Brian Cox is okay as Lecter and actually he is the original Lecter since Silence of the Lambs didn't come out for another five years. There is quite a resemblance between Cox's and Hopkins' portrayal of the madman. As I watch this again I am fairly certain that I watched this in the theater too. I think  Red Dragon (2002) was pretty much a remake of this movie. I love Edward Norton and Ralph Fiennes so I am pretty okay with that though it was not really necessary.

I am gonna lie down before I have to make a tennis practice pick-up. Have a great rest of your day and night. Depending on what kind of stress I have to work out I may blog sometime over the weekend between working and buying  new fridge. Thank you, as always, for hitching yourself up here for a spell.  Dr. Chilton is a little better in Silence of the Lambs too by the by. TTTWIBA (whenever I blog again)...MITM (chillin' in his skivvies) OUT!

Just a Bit of the Old Blog-in, Blog-out

On this week's Dirty Laundry Podcast

It's my Monday - booooo! The silicon chip inside my head is definitely on overload. I don't dislike Mondays really bad but it is not my favorite day of the week. One nice thing is that the new Dirty Laundry Podcast is up at that link and on iTunes. We've doubled the price for the podcast - it was free and double that it still free. I think it's a pretty good show this week. We have a pretty funny commercial on the show (an actual commercial that I have heard about 12 times and have laughed every time. We also have a Maroon 5 song on the show this week that is not on any other shows or on any radio stations yet. I think it's great and I believe you will like it too.

I have to go pick Fabio up at tennis practice in a couple of minutes but I will be back to finish this blog. Most of my day was spent editing the podcast but I also did a few more loads of laundry. I went over and got three bags of solar salt and filled the water softener. I took the recycling to the curb. I am always proud that we have three times more recycling than we have regular refuse. I think refuse sounds better than garbage. While making and eating lunch (I chopped some carrots, celery and onions and added them to some chicken broth) I watched Happy Days and I am now watching The Brady Bunch. I am not really big on the NCAA basketball tournament and they hijacked Judge Judy so what else could I do? After I get Fabio I think I am going to take a nap before going to work. I always think that but it never happens the way I hope. They sure use a lot of flute music on The Brady Bunch - we don't hear the flute these days.

I am gonna head over and get Fabio now and will come back and finish writing this very entertaining blog.

Now it is almost 18:30 and I do not believe I will get a nap. And tomorrow the refrigerator guy calls at 07:30 and tells me what time he will be here tomorrow. I hope he says something like 15:00 so I could sleep a bit tomorrow. Oh, woe is me.

I am gonna wrap this up so maybe I can get a few hours of sleep. Otherwise it's gonna be a really long night. Actually, it will be the same no MATTer what but it will seem like a longer night. Have a great night and I will most likely blog tomorrow while the refrigerator repair dude is working his magic. Thanks for stopping here and for listening to the podcast; you make me feel like I am not wasting my life. TTTT...MITM (zzzz?) TA!