Happy Black Leap History Year Day!

I am not sure whether to wish you a Happy Leap Year Day or Happy Last Day of Black History Month. I guess it's both so celebrate doubly today. I did not realize that Leap Year Day was like Sadie Hawkins Day. The only reason I know who Sadie Hawkins was is because that's the day I never got asked to a dance - I guess that's partially a lie because I did get asked senior year of high school. The main difference between Sadie Hawkins Day and Leap Year Day is that on Leap Year Day the ladies can ask us fellas to get married rather than go to a dance dressed like a cast member of Hee Haw. You can ask me if you want, I better reinforce the doors in the house because I am sure there will be many attempts to beat them down, I am sure Cha Cha would be willing to trade me into one of those fancy new foreign jobs.

My sleep study so far is going swimmingly. I cannot believe how the first and second sleep helped; you may notice that I am writing this in the AM rather than the PM so that is come proof right there. I am not going to jump to conclusions since it has only been one day but so far I am impressed. Today I am going to sleep for about four hours, then get up and work-out and do some laundry and such and then go back to sleep for four more hours. So if you're going to ask me to marry you today I suppose the best time to propose would be between say 1-4 PM.

With all the not so terrible weather this winter I have been jonsein' for golf. I wonder if they would let me drive the Fiat on the course as my gold cart. With the top down and the clubs in the back seat I am pretty sure it would pass for a golf cart.

I am in negotiations with the Chicago Ghost Hunters Group (CGHG) to be on the Dirty Laundry Podcast thanks to our newest producer MADYM. It's not really negotiating so much as they want to be on the show, of course, it's just setting the date really but negotiations makes it sound cooler than it really is. I am trying to pursuade them to investigate the spot where I became convinced that there really is a conduit between this world and the next. I believe I am ready to reveal that publicly; I never thought I would be convinced for certain but it is enough for me. It may not be for someone else but I am a simpleton and when I am told by an EVP (electronic voice phenomenon) why am where I am specifically then I am convinced. I hope the Illinois Ghost Hunters don't get angry and think that I am two-timing them. Ghost shows are great for our podcast occasionally because I am like a wide-eyed six-year-old on Christmas Eve ready to believe all and knowing that Santa will soon be there and Cha Cha is the voice of reason that keeps me from going up on the roof to wait by the chimney.

It's funny how when I start to write this blog I get sleepy. I don't think that bodes well for the blog. Maybe if you're having a hard time sleeping at night you should crack this open (or whatever you do to read it) and settle down to be lulled to sleep.

I think I am going to wrap this up so I can get on to gettin-on. Have a very leapy day. Thanks for coming by to get sleepy - I appreciate the company. TTTT...MITM (ready to believe you)

The Blog Between First and Second Sleeps!

I thought I had better get something up here so you don't wonder if I am alive or not - I am alive. I just woke up from "first sleep" and am doing some things before "second sleep." You may ask yourself, "self, what is this business about first sleep and second sleep?" My hetero life-mate Greg Weindorf, who also happens to be the world's foremost entertainment critic and can be heard regularly on Dirty Laundry Podcast, knowing of my sleep irregularity sent me an article that said how the eight-hour straight-through sleep is a relatively new phenomena, Greg may have changed me forever - AGAIN - by sending me a BBC report discussing this in detail. Here is the link to that article because I don't want to drone-on about it if you're not interested but I want to share it with everyone who may be interested because they had/have sleeping problems like me or just think it makes sense as I do. I sleep much better now than I have in recent years and I think it's because I have been sleeping this way recently by accident but now I know it is probably the correct way to do it so I am rekindling the movement. I know with the way our schedules are these days it can be difficult but my schedule is such that I can do the field work and let you know how it goes. Thank you Greg for making me whole again (TNWHS).

I just now got the phone call from my work's Human Resource person and my physical went fine and my start date for the new job is March 16th. That works out pretty well because my current position is as such right now that my weekends have been on actual weekends and that cycle is shifting and the weekend/weekend thing is probably going to end on about the 16th. So, if you require my company on a weekend you may have two more weekends to woo me. I am not sure what my regular "weekend" will be for the new position but whatever two days of the week my weekend will end up being they will stay the same every week. Since I am starting on a Friday my thought is, and this is pure conjecture on my part, my weekend will be Wednesday and Thursday. I will totally lose the three-day weekends every other "weekend." This new job will still allow me to work on our sleep-study.

Filmmaker John Borowski just added a link to the Dirty Laundry Podcast on his website. John is a real filmmaker and even has two films, that I know of, on Netflix (ding). We talk about and ding Netflix so often on the podcast that I think they should change their name to Netflix Ding. The two films of his that I have seen are: H.H. Holmes: America's First serial Killer and Albert Fish. They are both great documentaries and I highly recommend them both. H.H. Holmes and Albert Fish were both serial killers so be warned. Albert Fish was much more disturbing to me because his penchant was for children. I don't know why that seems so much worse to me because a life is a life but children usually haven't had time to become a-holes yet maybe? We are ironing out the details of when John will be on the podcast but it looks like probably the end of March - I should be well-rested by then because my new first/second sleep study will be a month old by then. He is working on a new film about another mass-killer named Carl Panzram. Check out John's site to see how you can become a producer or a contributor... "Dirty Laundry Podcast" is already going to appear on the closing credits.

It seems like I am entering the period of my podcasting and blogging life that will be known in the history books as my "Dark Period." I have always been fascinated by the minds of serial killers and we talk about it on the podcast a lot lately and Cha Cha thinks people are interested in these people because we want to know how to recognize these people so we can avoid them. I. however, have always been interested how people are so different and I accept people for their differences and eccentricities provided they don't encroach on other people's differences and eccentricities. It seems that John has the same fascination that I do and I look forward to discussing that with him live in Kajunkles Studio soon.

Why is my inner-voice always screaming?

Alrighty, I am getting heavy-eyed and my body is telling be that it is time for second sleep so I had better listen. Supposedly our bodies "tell" us stuff all the time but we usually ignore them. The only time I really listen is when it tells me it's hungry and that's the one I should try to ignore. Why can't it tell me it wants carrots and apples instead of cookies and cake and pizza all the time? I would just ignore that part anyway. Make sure you listen to the podcast - I think it's a pretty good one. We are starting to get into a groove and people are wanting to be guests. I received an email back from another person that I wanted to be on and he is very excited to be on the podcast. It is one of the ones that MADYM will get producer credit for because she "hooked-me-up." You'll have to listen to the MADYM episode of the DLP again to guess who it is (I think that was last-week's).

Thank you for spending a few moments with me during my sleep recess or half-time... I need to come up with a cool name for that period of time between my two sleeps. I appreciate you being here so I keep doing this...I need to do it. I am a Serial Blogger and Serial Podcaster...you are probably helping me so I don't focus my obsessions where they don't belong. You are making it so I channel it so I only hurt people's ears and eyes (podcasts and blogs). Have a great Leap Year Day Eve! TTTT...MITM (now entering the second-half).

The Cure for Seven Years Bad Luck!

Happy Leap Year Week!!! We get an extra day this week but there are only seven days in the week how does that work? I guess it's not really leap week because the week stays the same but it is leap year because we get an extra day. I am starting to get suspicious because I have always been taught that nothing is for free and you don't get nothin' for nothin' so what is the price for these, so-called, extra days?

Did you watch the big event last night on television? Can you believe all that happened? I was amazed that it was even on. That Donald Trump doesn't give a crap about anybody or who/what he's up against he just puts it out there. I am not going to tell you who got "fired" because some of you may have been watching other shows where people stroke egos other than Trumps!

I am multi-tasking this morning while writing the blog. Yesterday Cha Cha and I interviewed Jack The Ripper's Great Great Grandson for the Dirty Laundry Podcast and I am editing it now while blogging. I think you'll really like the show especially if you don't know much about the H.H. Holmes' serial murders back in the turn of two centuries ago. I must say that I over-studied the topic and I would have liked the show much more had I not become a near-expert on the subject. My main emphasis in college was news journalism and knowing so much ahead of time really takes all the fun and surprises out of life sometimes. Unless you know everything about H.H. Holmes I think you'll really like the podcast this week. It isn't up yet as I am writing this (10AM Monday 2/27) but it will be up by this afternoon.

I just got back from my physical for my new job. Everything went well but I knew it would.

IKEA's CEO showing-off products

Cha Cha and I went to IKEA Saturday and we took the Fiat so we couldn't buy too much. We still managed to fit $300 worth of stuff into the tiny green booger. If we didn't have the convertible we never would have gotten that full-length mirror into the car. While watching Cha Cha hunt the Serengeti look for all of the things she couldn't live without I conducted my own field studies of IKEA. Firstly, you can shop at IKEA with no arguments if there are no children with you and as long as you follow your master like a puppy. Secondly, IKEA makes Epcot look like amateur-ville as far as all of the countries being represented and you actually get better souvenirs for your money. There are A LOT of beautiful people and there are a lot of very non-beautiful people there. One moment I would feel like a pig next to Brad Pitt and then the next moment I felt like a George Clooney Sweater at the ugliest sweater contest. I love me some diversity. I know, however, that I was among the most considerate of all the hundreds there - nobody says "excuse me" or "pardon me" or thank-you"... just me! I also discovered that they actually have different pillows for the different ways you sleep. They have pillows for back sleepers and side sleepers and stomach sleepers but no pillows for non-sleepers or sleep walkers. Sleeper prejudice. Pillow cases, however, have learned to live together in harmony....one type of pillow case for every kind of pillow....POWER TO THE COVERS!!!!

There was an incident while unloading our shopping cart. Cha Cha slammed the mirror next to the side of the shopping cart and shattered it; luckily it was all wrapped in plastic. What happens when you break a mirror in a leap year month? I cannot even imagine what kind of bad luck you get there; it starts with seven years just for a regular break so now multiply it by probably 100 I would imagine. I was not going to let that happen to Cha Cha - mainly because that bad luck would probably effect me as well. I grabbed the mirror and the receipt and headed back in through the out-door. I made my way to the customer service area and when I got there the big "now being served" sign was on #22. The next number coming out of the dispenser was in the 80's and the people sitting there looked like all of the movies that show an immigration office or an unemployment office in New York. I was not going to wait so I took the mirror and my receipt and walked back to where the mirrors were and I switched the mirrors and walked back to the car. I am not really sure how I feel about what I did but there was already one broken mirror when I returned so no he had a friend. I was willing to risk 700 years of bad luck and I did have a receipt. I may have shop-lifted (okay, maybe I made part of this up...just in case the IKEA police read this). Even for 10 years in prison I still would save 690 years of bad luck - risk vs. reward!

I ain't takin' bad luck lying'down!

We then ate at Joe's Crab Shack. That was nice and fairly uneventful but when we sat down all of the wait-staff started dancing around us like it was an Osmond Family Reunion. Our waiter was doing the Cotton-Eyed Joe or some crazy backward dance and then I realized they must have recognized Cha Cha. The Cha Cha Slide was blaring out of speakers everywhere and they were all doing the Cha Cha Slide. It's weird being married to a podcasting sensation celeb like Cha Cha sometimes.

Well, the editing is coming to an end so I will wrap this up too and it may be ready for you to listen to on iTunes or at that Podomatic link. Have a great day and thank you, as always, for reading this and listening to the podcast; it's like charity - you can write it off on your taxes I think. TTTT...MITM (ut...that's Swedish for out)

Crabby-Ass Friday Snow Blog

Hey, it's Friday. For me it's my three-day weekend. This may be my last three-day weekend as while I was sleeping I got the call that I got the job I applied and interviewed for last week. It is contingent on a physical but that shouldn't be an issue. I will either start on March 1st or March 16th depending on what they want to do as far as switching my job classifications. The new position doesn't allow for the three-day weekends every other week; I guess the extra money will make up for that.

We got dumped on with snow over night. we are overdue and no matter what happens for the rest of the winter I doubt that we'll get as much for the season as we got all last year. It turns out that today is garbage pick-up day and I just saw that the garbage truck passed up our trash pick up becasue some A-Hole is snow blowing the neighbor's driveway and he parked in the street right in front of our garbage cans so the truck didn't see them and drove right buy. I am half-tempted to go out and place the cans right in front of this dudes mini-van just to make myself feel better. So many people are thoughtless morons - can you tell I only got three hours of sleep? Seriously, now I have to either move all of the trash back into the garage for another week or make the regular garbage man take our recycling as regular trash. That's irresponsible to the planet so I suppose my garage will just have to stink for another week with extra trash. I may move it over more in front of the neighbor's house who had the inconsiderate jag park in front of my trash for the week.

I heard that Jennifer Aniston got a star one The Hollywood Walk of Fame. I don't mean to take anything away from her honor but I always remember it was a big deal to have this honor bestowed on an actor. It always seemed like the stars that received their star were at the ends of their career and it was like being inducted into some kind of Hall of Fame or something. I am probably wrong and it probably really comes down to money and paying somebody to perform this ceremony for you. Congratulations Jen!

Apparently I was WAY wrong!

Does anybody remember any of the songs in that movie That Thing You Do? I know one of the songs is right on the tip of my tongue.

As you can probably tell I am in a foul mood, I need more sleep  methinks. I think I am just disillusioned about the whole Hollywood walk of Fame and it is going to change the way I view life. It looks like The Olsen Twins have stars - they were in like one television series and maybe one or two forgettable movies. I just went and checked and there are a bunch of stupid members of this Walk of Stupidity - Charlie Tuna? Rugrats? It seems like you just have to pay for a star. maybe I should see about getting Dirty Laundry Podcast a star - that would be just as stupid as some of these others.

I am either going to go back to bed or go clean the driveway and move the trash cans in front of the neighbors house. I hope you're in a better mood than I am and have a great weekend. I don't know why I let the actions of one thoughtless jerk ruin my whole outlook - I think the lack of sleep is about 30% to blame. Thank you for letting me vent - I appreciate it. TTT?...MITM (out to seek revenge on the world) TA!

Can Chickens Dance with Sunglasses on?

I can barely keep my eyes open but that may make for a better blog. Maybe I will accidentally hit keys to type something good when I don't try so hard?

Did you know that at one time they made sunglasses for chickens? Apparently chickens become cannibals when they see blood. By putting sunglasses on chickens back in the 1940's  - 1950's they would not be able to see when another chicken was bleeding becasue they could not detect color so they wouldn't peck a wounded chicken to death. I just thought that was a weird fact so I knew I had to share it with you.

As we get more and more guests scheduled for upcoming Dirty Laundry Podcasts the show is requiring a lot more work. The research and other show prep is taking a lot more time and I love it! For the upcoming show - with Jack The Ripper's Great Great Grandson - I had to read a book. I cannot remember the last time I sat down and read an entire non-electronic-type book. I guess I can really make the time to do that if I want to. I have read a lot of on-line stuff and a lot of magazines and newspapers but to read a book...I cannot even remember when I read an entire book from cover to cover. I am kind of embarrassed by that since I love to write so much. We got our DLP business cards yesterday. Nothing spells success like having business cards I guess.

I drank a lot of Diet Mt. Dew yesterday and I am not sure if I like to drink something is the same color coming out as it was going in.  Maybe I should have worn chicken sunglasses.

Albert Pujols is not as big a deal in California as he was in Missouri it appears. The St. Louis Cardinals wanted to refer to Pujols as "The Man" but he asked them not out of respect for former St. Louis Cardinal Stan 'The Man" Musial. The Los Angeles or Anaheim or California angels started their marketing campaign with Pujols as the focal point with billboards... calling  Pujols "El Hombre" (The Man). Pujols, apparently, is not happy with the moniker but in La La Land you don't get a say I guess Albert. Get used to it!

Supposedly we in the MIDDLEwest are supposed to get slammed (TWSS) tonight and tomorrow by several inches of snow. we have been very fortunate this year and if we have to get all of it at one time right before Spring arrives I am cool with that. I would rather not get it but I wasn't registered to vote in that election so I guess I have to take whatever I get.

The Academy Awards are this weekend. I am not going to watch it. It's ridiculous and way too long. I am perfectly happy waiting until the next morning to see who won.

I have to stop because I am literally, okay maybe not quite literally, falling asleep. sorry to cut it so short (TWSS) but I have to close my baby blues that are greenish-brown. Have a great day and if you hear an Earthquake it is probably my snoring - I apologize ahead of time for my nasal transgressions. Thank you for being here and for listening to the podcast. make sure to like both Matt In The Middle and Dirty Laundry Podcast on Facebook so I can bug you even more efficiently than I already do! TTTT...MITM zzzzzz-ing out)!

How About Fish with Retsyn?

Quit staring at me already - I'll have a carrot instead

Boy, I sure am sluggish today. This whole Mardi Gras thing is wearing me out already.

I was being Matt About Town yesterday and I drove by White Castle and craved fish. I drove by Burger King and craved fish. I drove by Wendy's and I craved fish. I drove by McDonald's and craved double fish. What in the Helser was going on yesterday and me craving fish? Proud of myself I did not stop any any of these culinary concentration camps (patent/trademark/copyright) because I am convinced that I can lose the 25 pounds I have recently put back on. I soon realized that I had The Catholic Church and whichever other religions still "outlaw" meat this time of year. Maybe it wasn't that big of a deal back when religions were beginning and really the main staples were grains, fruits, vegetables and fish. I don't think they really ate much meat, in comparison to today, anyway did they? Ironically, when I drove by Long John Silver's I did not crave fish. Maybe their stupid advertising is subliminally working on me and it wouldn't at LJS because they always advertise fish. I love fish but don't really need it deep fried right now.Now we're going to have to watch and listen to all of those stupid fish commercials through lent.

For some reason the other day an old commercial got stuck in my head. Maybe it's withdrawal because I very seldom watch commercials anymore but for some reason I feel compelled to include them on Dirty Laundry Podcast - what a hypocrite I am. Anyway, and I have no idea what made me think of it, I started thinking about the old Certs commercials. Do they even make Certs anymore? It was not really Certs I was thinking of so much rather it was Retsyn. Firstly, what the hell is/was Retsyn and secondly if I don't have any Certs how an I getting my recommended daily allowance (RDA) of Retsyn? I am fairly certain that I am Retsyn deficient. That explains a lot.

I am totally jonsein' for retsyn

I look forward to recording the podcast every week but I am particularly excited to record this week's show. Maybe I should be alarmed to spend time with Jack The Ripper's Great Great Grandson given how much we attribute to genetics these days but we all have to die of something. Someone could slip right into The Agitator spot and nobody would ever be the wiser. For those who want to be a guest on the podcast you had better speak-up soon because we have quite a few people who are coming up: a big-time filmmaker, some more ghost hunters, a few more authors....and you?

If I do come up mysteriously missing I hope one of you Columbo's will get to the bottom of it for me. Maybe a student from UCLA could solve the mystery - specifically one of the recipients of the Shera and Peter Falk Lt. Columbo Memorial Scholarship. Peter Falk's estate just donated $3 Million to The University of California so start this scholarship. I think that's pretty cool. It will first be awarded to five students entering UCLA in 2012 and will focus on aiding undergraduates studying: music, those with disabilities and military veterans.

Which way is the student center?

I have not yet heard back on the job I interviewed for Friday. Remember the old days when we applied for jobs and then interviewed and then waited months and months to hear anything? Now, with the way everything is so immediate: the internet. iPods, laptops, on-demand television..., I cannot even wait three business days without worrying I didn't get the job. I have come to expect to know everything right now. I am not sure if that is a bad thing or a good thing. I will be disappointed if I don't get the job but it won't be as bad as last time if I hadn't gotten hired as this time I have a job. I know several people out there who are still without jobs and I totally sympathize - be patient...it will happen for you soon.

I hope it didn't inconvenience you that I blogged so late today but I the Retsyn-imbalance has got me thrown-off a bit. I cannot promise I will blog earlier tomorrow but I will try. Thank you for stopping in here no MATTer what time I blog - I really need to do this regularly for my constitution and I wouldn't do it without you being here - you complete me! Have a great Hump Night (TWSS)! TTTT...MITM (fighting the urge of getting a deep-fried fish sandwich). TA!

Short and Semi-Sweet

Fat Tuesday / Matt Tuesday - almost the same thing again

Happy Matt Tuesday!!!! I am glad I blogged Saturday because I didn't feel so bad that I didn't blog yesterday. I was beat and it was President's Day - I am not really sure what President's Day has to do with anything but it WAS President's Day.

Remember last week I talked about how I think most celebrities are left-handed? Last night, because the news always copies me, I heard a report that 50% of the U.S. Presidents since 1929 have been left-handed. I guess that isn't MOST but I think that is fairly significant. Now that I type it out it is actually about where it should be - 50%!

I just made some oatmeal and put some blueberries and walnuts in it and it tastes like wallpaper paste. Firstly, yes I do know what wallpaper paste tastes like and secondly, I don't know why I don't just go and add more hot water to it!

The new Dirty Laundry Podcast is up. Someone has mentioned that this is the best podcast that they have heard. We have a lot of great shows coming up...next week we have Jack The Ripper's Great Great Grandson on the show. Yes, he is REALLY Jack The Ripper's Great Great Grandson. in about three weeks we are going to have a real-life independent film-maker on the show. I am talking about a film-maker who has actual films out and at least two  on Netflix that i know of - not some dude making home movies. I am also working on the Chicago Ghost Hunters Group...they will definitely be on but I am not working really hard on that one yet. This podcast snowball is starting to build up speed and girth - it's really exciting! And many of you have been there since the beginning and we thank you for that.

Sean Timberlake Parker

I believe I heard that Justin Timberlake just bought MySpace and he is turning it into a music streaming service. That's cool because maybe that will be another place besides Podomatic and iTunes to host the podcast, The reason I really thought it was cool, and try to stay with my odd sense of what is cool, is that Justin Timberlake played Sean Parker in The Social Network. Sean Parker was the dude behind Napster which was a music streaming service but that isn't the cool part. Sean Parker owns Spotify which is also a music streaming service so it's kind of like Parker (Timberlake) is competing with Parker (Parker). Maybe cool was too strong of a word; how about odd? funny? interesting? ironic?

Now that it's getting cold my wallpaper paste is starting to resemble more like wet concrete - yum!

I saw a commercial yesterday for a product called Go Joe. It is just about the most ridiculous thing I have ever see. It is a kind of a strap that you suction cup your cell phone to so you can go hands-free. You could just as easily use a Olivia Newton John Let's Get Physical headband and save the money. They say that they are only $10 but then they say +S&H (I assume that's shipping and handling and not Green Stamps). I bet S&H is more that the cost you are paying for the Go Joe.

I have run out of gas so I am going to have to try to get fueled up for tomorrow's blog. Thanks for stopping on in here today - I surely do appreciate it. I hope you listen to the podcast too, Have a great day . TTTT....MITM (out)