Cliffs Notes of Dead Celebrities

I cannot sleep so of all the things I could do I choose to blog to you. We recorded the podcast a couple of hours ago and I could go back down to the studio and edit it but that can wait until morning. It's gonna make blogging tough though because everything I think I would blog about we talked about on the show. Maybe next week I will write the blog at the same time we are recording the podcast. I wonder if that's ever been done? I could make the blog that day kind of Cliffs Notes for the week's Dirty Laundry Podcast. I just checked and Cliff's Notes are named after Cliff Hillegass "invented" them in Nebraska in 1958: there's something we didn't talk about on the podcast.

Fabio and I went to see Dark Knight Rises yesterday (Tuesday). We went to Batavia to see it in IMATT IMAX. Every time I see a film in IMAX I promise myself that I will never watch a  film any other way but not all movies are on that formatt format and there isn't an IMAX real close to us. We talk about the movie on the podcast but I wanted to let you know that if you are on the fence about seeing it get off the fence and go - it is really good. Supposedly, this was Christian Bale's last Batman film but I guarantee  that there will be more Mattman Batman films. 

I just read that Chad Everett died at 75. You fellow MIDDLERS will remember him from the 1970's television show Medical Center. Those were the days when we all had one television (a lot of times black and white) and only three or four channels to choose from so most of us laid in front of the television on the floor and watched whatever our parents were watching. For some reason I think Medical Center was on the same night as Emergency and maybe Adam-12 too? Times sure have changed.

As long as I'm on the dead celebrities portion of the blog  Sherman Helmsley also died - he was 74. I also remember watching him as a kid, a few years later, as Archie Bunker's neighbor George Jefferson on All In The Family and then, of course, on The Jefferson's. You sure would have a hard time making those shows today unless you were Tyler Perry. Not everybody know's this but George and Weezie bought the Banks' home on the last episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Aire. 

Also recently dead are: astronaut/physicist Sally Ride and Mouseketeer and Disney movie voice actress Ginny Tyler. I guess this is why I usually don't blog at night. Night means doom and gloom it seems.

I am getting tired so I think I will hang it up. I will blog again tomorrow because tomorrow is my Sunday (actually it is today now I guess since it is 2:00AM).

Thank you for stopping in and I will blog more upbeat next. I will also have the podcast up by then . Have a great whatever time it is when you read this (morning, day, night, afternoon...). I really do appreciate you reading this so I feel like I have a reason to write. TTTT (or later today actually)...TA!

I Pinkie Swore So Here I am!

I pinkie swore!

I said I would most likely blog today so even though in the MIDDLEwest it's 10PM it is still officially today. Today has been busy but a promise is a promise. Tomorrow, on the other had, I am not sure if I will blog or not. I am not sure how long this blog will be because my sinuses were acting up and I took one Benadryl; I say one because I usually take two so maybe one will just get rid of the sinus headache and not make me sleepy. I will take a second when it's beddy-by time.

We are having a rare thunderstorm right now. I am happy I am off tonight so maybe I can take advantage of sleeping with the window open and a thunderstorm stirring things up. There's few things I like more than sleeping at night while it's storming. I would estimate that it is my 287th favorite thing.

The new podcast is ready and I am going to fight the urge to link it in today's blog. You know how to get there by now and if not I know you're smart enough to find Dirty Laundry Podcast on Podomatic or on iTunes. 

The last I had heard of Rush Limbaugh was when we jabbed him a couple of weeks or months ago after he called that lady a "slut." I thought we, along with his sponsors pulling their advertisement money, had ended his career but I have found out that he is still broadcasting. I guess if Oxycontin can't end him how could advertising money ceasing? His latest nonsensical comments suggest that the latest Batman villain in The Dark Knight Rises , Bane, is a slam on Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Apparently Romney was with the investment fund Bain Capital and Rush Nutball Limbaugh says that when the election is in full swing people will associate Romney with this villain. Bain Captal was said to have outsourced jobs to Mexico and China while Romney was CEO, Chairman and sole stockholder. The funny thing about this is that Romney didn't even run for public office until 1994 when he lost to Ted Kennedy but Bane appeared in a Batman comic in 1993 so this has Back To The Future tied-in there somewhere. I guess we need to be completely stupid, irresponsible and make crazy stuff up to make the podcast really take-off.

I guess it could be the same dude.

I totally have blogger's-block because I am not used to blogging this late/ I think I am going hang it up for today. If you need to know what has been on my mind please go the place of which I will not link.  Thank you for stopping in and I will try to do better next time - I may actually blog tomorrow sometime because I know I have more in me that this sinus headache is holding in. I am off to take Benny #2 and, unfortunately, the storm seems to be over. Have a great hour (the rest of the night) and a great tomorrow. TTTT (most likely)...MITM (out to knock myself out to go out). TA!

How About a Little One On One Lesbian Scientology?

Dear Bloggary:
It's hotter than Helser again in the MIDDLEwest. It's days like these that I am happy I work nights and sleep in the air conditioning with two fans on me during the day. While I am writing this I am watching what I assume is the ending of a free Encore weekend. I am currently watching Ice Castles. I thought it was the Robby Benson / Lynn-Holly Johnson film from the late 70's when I turned it on but it's another remake (2010) of a movie that didn't need to be remade. So, I am watching a chick-flick remade of a chick-flick that I had seen several times. I know this may be Matterosexual but I really like Robby Benson. I think my favorite Robby Benson movie, besides Beauty and the Beast, is easily One On One. Of all the stupid movies that they replay all the time I never see One On One. Henry Steele is the bomb yo! I need to check Netflix for it.

Tonight we record the Dirty Laundry Podcast and I plan to talk about another movie that is currently being cast for remake. We talked about Total Recall last week and now another movie that doesn't need to be remade because it was perfectly good is being redone. This is one of my pet peeves lately. Spoiler alert **** the blind chick is skating in competition again and it's the same song that Lynn-Holly Johnson skated too - I actually may have crossed the threshold and now am 58% estrogen and 42% testosterone. I am fine with that as I have always preferred the fairer sex! I am fairly certain if I am 58% female I am 100% of that 58% lesbian. I am glad to finally be a member ladies. I wonder if she is going to trip on the flowers at the end like in the first one? I will let you know in a minute....the suspense is killing me. I gotta say that this Taylor Firth is a much better actress that Lynn-Holly. Uh Oh, she just tripped.... I knew she had to because that was a huge part of the whole movie. They were teddy bears this time instead of flowers so I guess it isn't a true remake.

I only slept for like four hours so I am kinda sleepy. I may try to sleep a little before we record the show but then I will be up all night though I am not sure if that is good or bad? I don't think I will ever be a real boy ever again; I am destined to be a part-time human for the end of my days I fear. I really like my job a lot but protecting and serving really takes a toll on the family time.

There sure is a lot of talk about Scientology with the splitting of Katie Holes and Tom Cruise. I would really love to have a Scientologist on the podcast. I know a current Scientologist couldn't/wouldn't be on the show but a former member would be better anyway. If you or someone you know is/are a former Scientology member please get in touch with me. I heard that a car that Katie Holmes was in last night was side-swiped by a garbage truck; curious? What is a garbage truck doing out at night? I guess that is when they empty all of those dumpsters but it sure seems scientolospicious (trademark/patent/copyright). Was that before or after Katie registered the couples' daughter Suri in Catholic girls' school? Instead of remakes - this is the movie Hollywood should be making right now!!! But, who would they get to be in it? I know Cruise and Travolta would be out. Catherine Bell is a Scientologist? That makes me sad. Maybe Robby Benson would be in it....a boy can dream!

I am pretty sure I am lesbian trapped in a man's body

Alright I just felt like writing so I wrote and thank you for giving me a reason. I hope you have a great night - stay cool Middlewest-diego. Make sure to head over to the Dirty Laundry Podcast Facebook page and "like" it so you'll know when the podcast is ready. TTTT (most likely)....MITM on a singular mission for One On One!

Maybe I am a Real- Life Super Hero? Maybe You are Too!

The photo may be blurry because of the speed and the twists

Yesterday at Six Flags Great America was great fun. It was very expensive but spending the day with your kids is always worth most any price. It only took us an hour to get there because I know a really fast way there the fast way is to go right after morning rush hour is over and then drive 80 - 85 miles per hour except in construction zones where it is wise to follow the mandated speed limits.We got there at about 10:30 and Splenda and I went our way and Fabio and his two buddies did there thing and we pre-decided to meet back at the park entrance at 5PM to leave the park and go for dinner. Splenda and I did every one of the roller coasters or whatever they are called these days. The first ride we did was V2 (Vertical Velocity) which I think is one of the newest of the rides. We also rode X Flight which I think is the newest of the rides. The coolest thing about this one was when the ride came to an end my vision was all blurred; I thought that maybe it was because I has forgotten to take my blood pressure medicine that morning but it turned out Splenda's vision was blurred too. It was because we were going so fast and twisting and looping so much that our brain hadn't been able to adjust our eyes back to the slowed/stopped position. It kinda made me thing of what test pilots must have to go through but I imagine they can slow down slowly most of the time and we had to stop immediately so others could get on the ride. My favorite ride of the day was Superman: Ultimate Flight. I had been on it before when it was brand new but this time we were in the front row; if you go on this ride it is worth the wait to be in the front. I actually felt like I was flying. I am one of those dorky dads that sticks his arms out in front of me to try to simulate Superman's flying style. Splenda had her arms out too and it was great!!! What else did we do?: Raging Bull, Batman, The Dark Knight Coaster, Logger's Run, Raging Rapids,  Yankee Clipper and Rue Le Dodge (bumper cars).

We went to dinner at Chili's and, surprisingly, the boys had had enough of Great America so we went to Gurnee Mills Mall and everybody seemed to like that just as much as Great America. I should just have taken the money we spent at Great America and divided it evenly among the five of us to go shopping and I think they all would have been just as happy. All that and we were back home by 9:30ish. The same, wait until rush-hour traffic and other MITM rules apply.

maybe worth the money?

While we were at the park yesterday my cell phone ceased to work. Was it because it got wet on water rides? NO!!!! I am a savvy amusement parker and I had brought along a box of zip-lock bags and divvied them out amongst our landing party. I kept all of my stuff in one of the bags and Velcroed securely in my cargo shorts. Dry as a bone in the desert in Mid August! I figured it must be dead. When I got home I threw it on the charger for 15 hours and it was still dead this morning. I took it over to the T-Mobile store and was told that it is a problem that is occurring with my particular model. They tried their battery and that didn't work either. It is still under warranty and it is a problem with this phone yet I still have to pay $20 to get a new phone and an additionally $20 more if I want it overnighted. I was not in a mood to fight, which is very unusual for me in these situations, but I am guessing I am probably going to strategize and build my troops and this war is not over - I just have chosen to fight this battle at a later date maybe when I am on neutral ground and they do not have the tactical advantage. I guess they need a lot of my money to pay that hot chick and her new motorcycle for their commercials.

The reason that I didn't feel like going to battle may have had something to the night before we went to the amusement park I had stayed up until 2AM getting the Dirty Laundry Podcast edited and uploaded because I knew I would not have time to do it yesterday with the amusement/mall day. I am still a little tired now and will probably take a nap after I get this posted because I have to work tonight.

Six Flags Great America knew we were coming!!!

I don't really know what's going on in the world today or yesterday so I guess I will stop here for today. Thanks a lot for taking the time to stop by; it always makes me smile. I hope you have a great Thursafternoon and Thursnight and I may blog again tomorrow. Please listen to the podcast and like us on Facebook (Dirty Laundry Podcast on Facebook). I said Please!!!! TTTT?...MITM (still slightly velocitized from rides without meds) TA!!!!

Take Me Out To The Blog Game

Happy Saturday everybody; it's funny how I am never as tired as usual on Tuesdays and Wednesdays (my Saturdays and Sundays). I am sure it is pretty much the same for everybody .

I just watched Lou Brock get a nice hit off of Nolan Ryan (I forgot Ryan played for the California Angels at one time). Tonight is the MLB All-Star Game so MLB Network is playing past all-star game highlight shows with Mel Allen doing the play-by-play. I just watched the 1978 all-star game and now the 1979 game is playing. That was about when I was 15 and 16 and when I loved baseball the most. I like when the all-stars wore their own teams' jerseys. I figure they must have come up with the all-star jersey idea to sell more merchandise and make more money off of the fans. I forgot about the White Sox' ugly uniforms in 1978 and 1979. Now youngster Gary Carter of the Montreal Expos is up followed by the Phillies' Pete Rose. And now The San Diego Super Chicken is screwing around. This is cool but it kinda makes me sad what professional sports have become. Wow, this is also the year that the Cubs had those ugly powder blue uniforms with royal blue pin-stripes; some things have gotten better in professional baseball.

Tonight we record the Dirty Laundry Podcast. I don't know what we will talk about but that never seems to stop us.
Tomorrow we are going to Six Flags Great America. One of Fabio's best friends as a yute and his family moved to Oregon (the state, not the Illinois town) a couple of years ago and he is visiting us this week. His family gave him a dream vacation for Christmas. How cool is it that someone gets a week vacation for a Christmas gift and you are the gift? He lived right across the street from us so it must be weird to look at the house you spent most of you life in right across the street. He and Fabio are having a great time. I had hoped to get him to a Chicago White Sox game because he is a huge Sox' fan but with the all-star break there are no games going on. Wow, right as I am typing this the 1980 All-Star game is starting - the weird thing about that is that they just talked to Baltimore Orioles' pitcher Steve Stone (he is now the White Sox announcer). In addition to the three of us a couple of their other friends are going and Splenda, just back from California, is going too so I don't look like a creeper going on rides all by myself. I am good at being a creeper though  I am told.

I must be tired because I don't have anything else on my mind. I had better go back to sleep for a few hours before we record the podcast or it is going to be a very boring show (keep your comments to yourself). I probably will not get a chance to blog tomorrow because of Six Flags Great America. I guess you'll just have to listen to the podcast instead. Thank you for stopping by and have a nice Wedsnight. TTT the podcast...MITM (out) Hey, I forgot there was a Ken Griffey Sr.

Seriously? Green Urine?

I would say the worse I got was like #5 (what is #8?)

I am pretty sure I am getting prepped for the afterlife. Two week's ago I was in Texas where the stars at night shine at night just to kept a simmer for the sun all night so the day could get to a rolling boil quicker and now last night I walked about 15 miles outside in temperatures that felt like over 100 with something like 236% humidity. I was happy that my sunburn from Texas had turned to a nice golden-brown but then last night while I sweated for 8 hours straight little sweat bubbles appeared on my forearms. Apparently my skin was sweating under my tan and it was clear that my tan was gonna peel off. Luckily, so far, the bubbles have subsided and I have not peeled. I think my body was so dehydrated that it needed that moisture to remain hydrated and sucked it back in. I stopped and went to the washroom a couple of times last night and one of the places I went was an athletic facility so as I stood at the urinal, relishing the air conditioning for a few moments, I studied the sign above (I have always loved when they put up reading material so I am not bored) that showed what color urine should be at various points of hydration. I was pretty well hydrated. Later on in the evening, maybe three hours later after a large beverage and a lot more walking in the heat and humidity, I stopped at a different place to make my bladder gladder and my color had changed to almost completely mustard yellow - bordering on Dijon. It is remarkable how quickly one can become dehydrated. I guess I am trying to say if you are outside in anything like the Middlewestern heat we are experiencing keep fluids flowing in. Today and tomorrow here the temperatures are supposed to be over 100 degrees and it will feel like around 115 degrees; that's why you're inside reading this blog and not out mowing your lawn brown patches of straw.

That reminds me of when I was a kid and we went on a family vacation to California. My dad's Aunt Ruth lived in California so we stopped to visit her while were out there. There was some kind of a water shortage or a water conservation effort of sometime and every time one of us would go to the bathroom she would say, "if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." I have remembered that for over 30 years; marketing gold! (more ways than one)

If you lived on the sun could you get an Earth burn or an Earth tan?

ironic since it's blurry

 I have always been a cardigan (sweater) and this morning when I got home from work, out of curiosity, I weighed myself and found that I had lost four pounds since going to work nine hours earlier. That reminded me of the film Vision Quest where Lowden Swain (Matthew Modine) had to make himself sweat to make weight for a wrestling meet. I quickly regained three of the four pounds by drinking a liter (or litre) of water. At least I still lost a pound walking 15 miles.

Yesterday I received in the mail the new license plates for the Fiat. Cha Cha doesn't even know we have them but I put them on the car and she will find out eventually - she doesn't read the blog, because she doesn't like me as much as you do, so she won't read it here. Anyway, I got the environmental plates and her new plates read "EXIST." I looked-up what Fiat translated to in English and it means "to be" or "to exist." so I thought that was pretty cool - she may hate it but que sera sera. They are light green, almost the same color of the car, and they have a red Cardinal on them (not only is the Cardinal the state bird of Illinois it also happens to be the namesake of the current World Champions in Major League Baseball and our family's MLB team of choice - my fault).

I think I am going to try to garb forty winks. Where does that expression come from? Is it because the night was called a fortnight at one point? If I take a short nap will that only be twenty winks? I will probably actually take a Benadryl or two and take eighty or ninety winks. I am not sure if I will blog tomorrow but make sure if you need a Matt-fix, who doesn't, listen to the Dirty Laundry Podcast. I have done quite a bit of brain-storming and note-taking on my story idea from yesterday - hopefully I will not hit a road block and become discouraged; eventually I will have to start writing something and I will finally know that this is the one. I have so many screen plays and books started that I lost interest in that when I die somebody will probably find these ideas/beginnings of stories and win a Pulitzer or an Oscar or something...you're welcome future generations!!!! Thanks for stopping-in to read my heat-stroked, dehydrated rantings. TTT?....MITM (out to hydrate and wink). TA!

A New MITM Book on the Horizon?

Happy 5th of July. I have become depressed for some reason over the past twelve hours; I wonder if it's due to my country turning 236 years old? I realize that 236 is very young as countries go but after about the age of fourteen or so, with the exceptions of maybe 16 (divers' license), 18 (lottery, voting and porn) and 21 (drinking legally) all of the other birthdays are just us getting closer to death.

"Lee Harvey...I wanna (write about)  you cowboy."

We recorded the new Dirty Laundry Podcast last night and it is up. I always have a hard time blogging around this time for fear of repeating what we discuss on the podcast.

Has anyone read the book 11/22/63? I guess it is a Stephen King novel about the John Fitzgerald Kennedy assassination. I feel a need to read it mainly because of how I heard about the book. On my recent trip to Dallas I visited the grave of Lee Harvey Oswald (supposed assassin of JFK). While we were looking for the grave-site an older couple waved us over to where they were probably knowing what we were looking for. We went over and there was the headstone of LHO. It did not seem odd at the time but looking back I wonder if they were ghosts because many things now, as I write this, seem pretty odd. Firstly, they were from Massachusetts as I ascertained by their accents and remarked as such to them. The husband was a history teacher so knew quite a bit about the event and many things I did not even know. They also told us that they were staying at the hotel where John and Jacqueline Kennedy stayed his last night alive (The Hotel Texas in downtown Ft. Forth). All of this seemed really cool at the time but it didn't seem eerie until I write it now. I am usually a person to put something supernatural and creepy into everything just to entertain myself but why wouldn't I have tied this together until now? Anyway, the wife was the one who suggested I read 11/22/63. She said it is about time-travel or something where someone comes back to the time of the JFK assassination to try to stop the killing. I have always been fascinated by those events and while in The School Book Depository I came to the thought that LHO had nothing to do with the JFK assassination - he was a TRUE 100% patsy. There was no exhibit or evidence at the Depository that gave me that thought other than the thought just popping into my head. I still do not know why I believe he had nothing to do with it. I had always thought he, at the very least, had something to do with the assassination. Maybe I started to think about it when I heard, which I already knew, that he just left his rifle lying on the floor where the shot was supposedly fired. That doesn't seem like something somebody who planned such an act with such detail would do. He obviously didn't want to be a martyr/hero for doing it or when he was captured at the Texas Theatre he would not have denied it. Maybe you never really know a man until you lie on his grave and speak to ghosts from Massachusetts (coincidence that JFK was from there too?) Maybe I need to write a story about this huh?  

The view of an assassin?

There is a town in Texas that we passed-through named Pearland. The whole time I was down there I wondered, "is it pronounced 'pair land' or 'pearl land'?" I still do not know and I now wish I would have stopped at a gas station and asked someone. Maybe if I have to go down and do some research for my story about Nick Beef and Lee Harvey Oswald I will mosey into that town and find out. If you don't know about Nick Beef you haven't listened to last week's podcast yet have you?

Why does everybody hate gluten so much? I love gluten. I don't even know what it is but it sounds like fun. Isn't gluten just protein? What did gluten ever do to anybody? Don't be a gluten hater. I heart gluten!!! I am starting the gluten fan club! Our spokesperson will be Augustus Gluten (and we will get the dude who played Augustus Gloop to play him).

I am done for today. I am still depressed but at least I was distracted for a little while. Maybe if I write this LHO/Nick Beef story it will distract me and I will snap out of whatever funk I am in; I imagine it's just my Mattsruation since it is usually end of month/beginning of the month but who knows? Thanks for letting me ramble-on; you always make me feel better no matter what mood I am in. TTTT (probably)....MITM (ghost) TA!