Hangin' with Corey Feldman (accidentally)



I love television so much I ate it (really it is IN the mirror)

 It's Friday I thing right? The last couple of days have been kinda wild with working the Farm Show from sun-up to sun-down the last two days; instead of banker's hours I was working farmer's hours, ironically. Then, after I got off of work yesterday, Sugar Momma and I loaded up the Mattmobile and headed here to Naperville and spent the night at Hotel Arista. Of course, I remembered my laptop so I could blog you. The Hotel Arista is a green hotel and buys most of their food items locally. It is REALLY fancy. We even have a mini televison inside of our bathroom mirror. I slept great too (yes, I brought the Benadryl Ranger). I heard on the television in the bathroom that I may not be a Virgo anymore. The horoscope signs have switched. I don't even know who I am anymore!



It could be Corey Feldman or maybe Michael Jackson



Last night, after checking into the hotel, we went for dinner and a show. Not a fancy pants show but at a place where we have wanted to try for awhile. We decided to drive down the street a bit and have dinner at Hollywood Palms. The word must have got out that we were going to be there because there was a huge long line. Being who I am I forced my way to the front of the line to see that it was leading to a redcarpet area. They literally rolled out the red carpet for us. I thought that until I saw a sign above the table at the end of the carpet that was welcoming Cory Feldman (the weird Cory). So, Sugar Momma and I went to the bar and she had Halle Berry  (pomegranite martini) and I had the Tequila Mockingbird. Then I had five more regular margaritas after that. Hmmmm working twelve hours and then five margaritas and Benadryl - no wonder I slept well. After a little while Michael Jackson, I mean Cory Feldman, walked in. I had my camera with me so I walked over, made my way to the front of the red carpet and snapped some shots. Mattarazzi! He was good in The Goonies and Stand By Me. He looked excited to see me.

Hollywood Palms theater - while we watched True Grit...they watched us.

So, after several drinks and an appetizer of artichoke/spinach dip called Grinch Dip. We went to see True Grit. I will review it later on MIDDLE MOVIE REVIEWS but I am enjoying the lap of luxury in my terrycloth robe right now. I will also review the Hollywood Palms theater there too. I may review them later today or maybe Sunday because I work two, count 'em two, basketball games tomorrow. Tonight Sugar Momma and I are going to Morton's Steak House with MADYM and MisterYM. I like it easy for hitmen (hitpersons) to find me if they need to.

I have already showered but I gotta get out of this terrycloth robe and get dressed and get some breakfast at Sugar Toad (the restaurant downstairs) near Carlton The Doorman. I wonder if Sugar Momma is related to this Sugar Toad dudette (or dude - Sugar Toad is gender non-specific). I will probably blog you again early tomorrow. Have a nice Friday. TTTT...MITM.

Get Your Christmas Goose Early!

Why the baseball cap?

cue the music

Happy Friday!!!! I have to leave for work in about 20 minutes or so, so this blog will probably be like most of them; quick and incoherent. Yesterday I worked from 5 - 5:30 and today I was scheduled to work at 5:00 again but as I was leaving I was told that I didn't need to come in today until "a little before 6:00" today. It didn't matter to me one way or another at the time but I didn't have to try to rush through the blog last thing. Now I can rush through it this morning instead. I am scheduled to work until probably 6 or 7 tonight but I am hoping I can convince the other supervisor that I am working with this afternoon to let me go early because Sugar Momma and I have an adventure planned this evening. Since he comes in at noon I am sure he will be on board. I can't tell you about the adventure now because then you wouldn't have any surprises to look forward to tomorrow.

Yesterday at the Farm Show I think I saw more baseball caps than there were during the entire baseball All-star weekend. That includes the home run derby and all of the pre-game festivities as well as the All-star game itself. I am talking about players and fans both. Yesterday was all about pick-up trucks and baseball caps. I did not see one cowboy hat. Come on farmers...we want cowboy hats! (well, I do)

The other day while we were up in Palatine for Fabio's basketball tournament my lips were chapped and I discovered that I didn't have my Matty Chapstick with me. I asked Sugar Momma if I could use hers so she handed me this stuff called Burt's Bees. I removed the cap and looked at it and it was brownish. I asked he, "this isn't tinted r something is it? It goes on clear right?" she told me it was clear so I rubbed it on my lips liberally like you do with Chapstick. I looked in the mirror and I looked like John Candy in Armed and Dangerous. Looks like someone got his Christmas Goose early! Her and Fabio are still laughing about it six days later. Besides that I looked FABULOUS and the speed bumps on my lips were smooth.

Geez, the time goes fast when you're blogging. Luckily, I showered and got dressed before I started because this blog is winding down. The Farm Show waits for no MATT! I am going to have to wrap up. Tomorrow's blog will be more thought-out and blog-worthy I think. Gotta go and make the bacon (I don't eat bacon but that sounded farmerish to me). I will blog you again tomorrow from my "adventure." The next blog should be Indiana Jones Temple of Doom blog worthy (yeah, right). TTTT...MITM (off like my wifi was - before it finally got fixed)

Am I Being Blognipulated (I said nip)

I am writing this Tuesday night because I have to work bright and early Hump Day morning.

I am pretty sure that I told you that I got the new Victoria's Secret catalog a couple of days ago. Well, Tuesday I got Whole Living magazine in the mail. I have never even heard of Whole Living magazine. It is apparently something by Martha Stewart and it says it's "body and soul in balance." Am I receiving this stuff because of the freebies I am signing up for on the Facebook freebies page? Am I being manipulated to mention these things in my blog? Do they know what I like and know that I will mention them if I do? I do like this magazine I must blog. Am I being manipulated if I know I am being manipulated but I actually like the stuff? Or, am I reverse-manipulating them by getting "them" to send me stuff I like? Am I just on some list and I will end up getting bills for all of this stuff that I never ordered? Manipulation is such a tricky business.

The other day Sugar Momma got a bag of veggie chips. There were spinach chips and tomoato chips and potato chips. How can you include potato chips? That's totally bogus. I can get potato chips anywhere. Why not include Frito's and say they have corn chips? As long as we're (that's the Royal "we're") on food how come there are no peeps for Christamas? I don't care for peeps but why does Easter have the monopoly on peeps? There could be Santa peeps and snowman peeps and reindeer peeps and elf peeps. I don't know why I am interested but I was just wondeing but WHAT UP PEEPS? Also food related...Entemann's smells really good at night when you pass it going to the airport.

Why do you suppose Sarah Palin isn't out there shooting her mouth off about the shootings in Arizona? She has always had something to say every time something like this has occurred.

Out of time I guess....off to work 4:43AM....TTTT...MITM

This Blog Contains One of the Worst Words in History



Technician MIA

 Happy 1/11/11! It's 1:30 and no technician yet. In the time-window he could have been here I have: cleared snow from the driveway twice, done four loads of laundry from washing to folding, worked-out for two hours, emptied the dishwasher, made and ate my lunch and now I am sure I will get done blogging before he/she arrives. My friend Terri said that the tech will be here at 4:59PM and she is probably right. If the tech, for any reason, doesn't show today our intenet provider will change from Frontier Communications to AT&T (only $14.95/month I am told). If the signal from NIU were stronger I would just use there's forever. Maybe we should get a more powerful-signalled router and sell passwords to our neighbors.

Working out today I did an extra ten minutes on the bike and added weight to all of my arm work. I am going to regret it later but then, after that, I will be happy that I did it.

Tomorrow I work at 5:00 AM and I will probably work at least 12 hours. The same will go for Thursday, most likely. There is a farm show coming to town and last year it was very busy. Farmers aren't doing much right now in the frozen MIDDLE and the show is free. Come on out and check out the new combines and new pick-ups and the like.There are lots of freebies - tradeshow kinds of freebies.

I think we are going to find that the homeless guy with the "golden voice" is going to turn out to have a crazy scary past...there's something about him that I find odd and scary. Just a hunch...nothing to base that on other than all of the footage I have seen of him.

I am finally getting back to using my notebooks so some of what I am about to blog may be a little dated (a couple of days at the most) but I thought it was important at the time so it must still be, right?


Huck and Jim Livin' the Dream!

 You know that I am a HUGE Sam Clemens (Mark Twain) fan. They are doing a new printing of one of his classics, Huckleberry Finn. I am sure most, if not all of you, know the story of Huck and runaway-slave Jim rafting down the Mighty Mississip. In the new printing I heard that they are going to replace the word "nigger" with the word "slave." I think the word "nigger" is one of the most hateful, disgraceful, ignorant words in the existance of human-kind. Quite honestly, I even felt odd typing it and almost typed "the N word." What's the difference? If I type "the N word" you think of the word anyway so does that make you racist? I have gone back and forth in my head about how I feel about the reprinting not containing this vile word. I think that it is kind of insulting to African Americans, actually all American, to leave the word out. It was disgraceful, yes, but changing a fiction novel to eliminate this word isn't going to change history. I think leaving it in there makes us remember how we have grown and wisened-up. We still have A LOT more growing and wisening-up to do.


A bunch of old WHITE MEN framing our rights

Also, the U.S. Congress just read the U.S. Constitution out loud as a group during a session of Congress. I heard that they read the entire document from start to finish but left out the Articles discussing slavery and women not having the rights to vote. Again, these things really were awful, awful things (putting it mildly) for a country that was founded on freedoms but they have been abolished and we should not forget that we can and should grow. If we forget,it is my fear, there is the possibility that, in time, we could return to similar acts of injustice.

I will slide my soap box back under the desk. I am a bleeding-heart. I don't know how that term ever became a bad term and I take it as a compliment when I am called one. I hope I have not offended anyone today but I am very passionate about equality. I think color or gender or sexual preference...should play no role in of our basic human rights. One day it could be you or I that are being targeted. It's 2:57 PM and no call or technician yet. My money is on Terri's prediciton. I got a little windy today with my passion (TWSS). I will try to get a blog in tomorrow but who knows what the Farm Show will bring. I may write the blog tonight and post it very early tomorrow. Thanks for listening. TTTT....MITM (out).

Have Blog Will Travel

This dude may be at Mattgarita Island on the morrow

There are problems with our connectivity to the internet at home so I am down at The House Cafe eating lunch and blogging. Blogging Live From The House Cafe in Downtown Dekalb...it's Matt In The Middle!!!! Can you feel the energy? I hadn't had the salsa-avocado wrap for quite awhile so this was way overdue. The Frontier technician will be at our house tomorrow between 8:00AM and 5:00 PM to fix the problem (allegedly). It has to be the line because neither the laptops or the MAC work on the internet. The Netflix through the Wii didn't work either so I'm sure it isn't a hardware problem with the computers. Also, this one is working here. It was nice meeting a new friend on the phone today at Frontier even though I had to wait on hold for 20 minutes to meet him.

Fabio's basketball practice got canceled for tonight so he will go to the optional practice from 3-5 and then Splenda and I (and maybe Sugar Momma) will probably come back down here for Open Mic tonight. Let me know if you're coming and we'll save you a spot. You'll have to call me though because after I leave here I will not have computer access until between 8 and 5 tomorrow. This is probably really stupid to do but I love you all so my cell number is number removed...ha too late . Write it down because I will edit this and remove it probably tonight when I am back here so it's not out there for eternity. If I don't answer leave me a message because I may screen them all so I don't get telemarketed. I am a paranoid American.

I am kind of discomboobulated (I haven't used that one in awhile) without my usual blogging tools. This is truly taking the blog to the streets old school pirate blogging style.

Now my battery is down to 56% and I don't have the power cord with me though I thought I put it in my backpack so I may just have to publish this without graphics if it gets down to the wire. The lady next to me just told the guy that she is with, as she wrote him a check (wink wink nudge nudge know what I mean say no more) that tomorrow is 11/11/11 - weird. I am not an eavesdropper on purpose but my spidey senses are just like that. I hear everything which is most of the reason I can't focus sometimes. Also probably part of the reason I cannot sleep. Okay...and maybe I DO use that for nosiness. Nosiness is aa nosiness does! Now there's a white dude who looks like he's from Jamaica with a British accent (fake or real) asking for a blueberry muffin. I love this place.

I got some graphics up (TWSS)...I may be good at blogging on the lam if I ever have to do it full-time. Alright, 30 minutes to Fabio and the battery is running on vapors Cougar. This blog didn't say much but you know I'm alive. I would say tomorrow's would be from here or Starbucks but I have to be home from 8-5 and hopefully will blog you after that. TTTT...Blog Boy On The Run OUT! (please forgive typos, grammatical errors, misspellings as I am on the lam you know)

No Blog Today!

NO BLOG TODAY!

NO BLOGS ALLOWED!!!

I know I told you that I may or may not blog today and the way the day has gone I have decided not to blog. We just got home from the basketball tournament (and we went to Dave and Buster's again on the way there) I am kind of tired. I probably won't sleep too long, as usual, but I am going to have the Pink Power Ranger stop by again because she did a pretty good number on the Sleep Monster last night.

Womanly, yes but I like it too!

I just wish I felt like blogging because I know there are some of you who read even my Sunday blogs but I just don't have a blog in me tonight (TWSS or would have said if I blogged today).

If I were to blog I would probably blog about how Fabio's team got blown out both games again today and we only had seven players today rather than the eight yesterday because one was sick today. They boys wanted more playing time and they got it. I would probably also blog about when I went to get in the shower this morning I went into the medicine cabinet to get the shaving cream and razor to shave my neck but instead I grabbed the deodorant and swiped under my left arm before I wondered what the heck I was doing. Have you ever taken a shower right after you have deodorized one of your arm pits? It's a lot like trying to butter bread after you spread mayonnaise on it I would imagine. 

I am trying to think about what else I would blog about if I were to blog today. I would probably blog about how great it is to have a healthy Sugar Momma again. I don't have much use for doctors for the most part because most of them are guessing just like I would. They do, however, have the ability to open the vault to the medicine locker that you and I cannot. I am tired of running to Canada every time I want codeine. Anyway, I would blog that I can barely fix a lawnmower so I probably shouldn't have my own home operating kit. Now that Sugar Momma is better I have to get this jaw/tooth thing figured out. I am starting to feel that it is partially a sinus issue. I am thinking chiropractor too maybe! we sure do take our health for granted when we have it don't we?

Again. I apologize that I don't feel worthy of blogging you tonight. I will blog you tomorrow I promise. But I would also blog you about how it's nice to have Splenda back home again after her snowboarding adventure. Apparently, she is the female version of The Flying Tomato because she was a natural at it. Her friends who have been doing it for years couldn't make it all the way down the green hill but she did. She is VERY VERY sore though. She's always been pretty athletic so I am not surprised. Maybe she sold her soul to the Devil's Head?

Okay, I am out of reasons why I didn't blog today. I hope you understand and will forgive me. I will make it up to you tomorrow with all of the great notes I have written down in my various notebooks today and yesterday. I just really feel guilty about letting you down and not blogging today. This is where I would say TTTT...MITM but since I am not blogging today just imagine me blogging that.

Kiss, Sleep, Heal!

My favorite Power Ranger - The Benadryl Ranger

Today's basketball tournament went pretty well. The boys played two games - one at 11:00 and one at 1:00 and Fabio and I stopped at Dave and Busters for linner or dunch (lunch/dinner combination) and we were home by 4:15. Fabio's team got blown out both games but come to find out one of the teams was 5th in the Nation last year so they really weren't blown out that badly considering that. We only had eight guys today so the 80 minutes they played were pretty grueling with little rest. At least they're all getting plenty of playing time. Tomorrow their first game is 4:00PM so I am fighting the Sleepy Monster right now and will battle him with the aid of The Pink Power Ranger (Benadryl) later to sleep until whenever I want to sleep tomorrow. Today is work-out day but I will work-out tomorrow before we go North instead.

Nobody ever mentions this awesome Hollywood kiss!

Sugar Momma got home last night. I picked her up at the airport, as you know, and I gave her one of my patented Terminal Kisses! No, I didn't kill her with my bad breath. I gave her one of those movie kisses they use to give back in the good 'ol days of Hollywood. I think I really gave her a good kiss. I may have been wrong yesterday about me being a bad kisser. I'm Don Juan de la Nooch. She was weak in the knees. She's not a big fan of PDA's (public displays of affection) but I think she may have switched teams because of this kiss (that's what my kisses can do to the ladies - make them switch teams). You should have seen all of the people staring at us. Welcome to America people of the World; this is how we roll in the United Airlines baggage claim terminal in the busiest airport of the World! She arrived from Dallas and I knew when her airplane was de-boarding (is that right? de-boarding? disembarking? emptying out?) because a couple of Dudes (yes, Dudes) exited the terminal with cowboy boots, cowboy hats and huge belt buckles. Yippie Ki Yeah Mother Smuckers!

BUY THE GUM - SAVE THE WORLD!

While I was waiting for Sugar Momma with my lips moist and at ready alert standby I saw a product that allowed me to put a notch in my 2011 Resolutions belt buckle. I found a way to donate to charity right there near baggage claim area number 5. I bought some gum called HEAL THE SICK by a company called Project 7. More than 50% of the profits are donated "to support 7 areas of critical need across the globe." The gum was $2.79 per pack and it's not very delicious but I didn't buy it for the gum or the great value I bought it to: help battle HIV/Aids in Africa, offer immunization relief in developing nations and aid mercy ships /medical missions...basically to save the planet and our entire human race; it's what I do. No big whoop! Help me if you can.

I opened my Facebook today and there was a message that I had a new friend request. Facebook friend requests are kind of like unexpected gifts. You have to open them to find what's inside and you don't even know who they're from until you open them. I pretty much always accept these gifts because how rude is it to not accept a gift? Sometimes I return them without the giver knowing but what they don't know doesn't hurt them right? Obviously, I haven't returned your gift.

Enough for today. I may or may not blog tomorrow. It depends how much interest there is in Sunday's blog (by both me and you). I have to sleep, workout, and go to basketball and then somehow figure out where to pick Splenda up from Devil's Head. Now Off to Hushaby Mountain with The Pink Ranger. I am gonna sleep tonight and there's nothing any of you can do about it unless you need something then let me know and I won't sleep because I love you. Thanks for stopping by. TTTT (or maybe Monday)...MITM (: off to slumber island :)